Reeves’ eyes held mine as if he challenged me to deny the accusation. I caught my breath.
This was truly a day for revelations. Was this jealousy from my pious husband? For certainly these words had sprung forth from some deep part of him that actually cared – did they not? Confusion whirled through my head. I had never heard Frederick speak so. Ever . In six years of uneventful marriage, he had never mentioned our courtship, or lack thereof. Nor had he ever shown any indication that my failed courtship with his cousin had caused him even the slightest concern.
‘Mr Reeves, what are you saying?’ I asked.
My husband’s face remained tight– but not as it does whilst pontificating. A muscle convulsed in his jaw, as though some thought or feeling was being powerfully restrained.
‘You married me because your father wished it, did you not?’ His voice was hoarse, and held a bitterness I’d never before noted.
I nodded most cautiously. ‘Of course, but I could have refused you. I was not forced.’ My throat grew somewhat tight as I spoke.
Frederick shook his head and his eyes flashed with a dangerous light. I felt his gaze travel from my face and drag slowly down my neck, past my bust to linger at the cleft of my thighs, where I knew the dark hair of my mons was visible through the thin chemise.
He looked away before speaking. ‘I had, at one time, hoped that you may come to feel a greater affection for me than you had for Jonathan,’ Mr Reeves said, his tone less aggrieved but entirely more awkward.
I moved to speak but he silenced me with a sharp lift of his hand. I bit my tongue.
He coughed and continued. ‘I understand that Jonathan is younger and more handsome than I, but still I had hoped your affection for me would grow. Yet, six years into our marriage you still refer to me as Mr Reeves, and we are no closer now than when we first met.’
A surprised and hurt lump formed in my throat, and I tried to speak. For it is not that I have no affection for the man, surely. I admire him at times, and welcome his affections or at least I do when they are so rarely offered. Have I not made my attempts at marital harmony obvious enough?
I felt my brow crumple, and lifted my gaze to meet his.
‘I know that a marriage such as our may not be of an overtly affectionate nature,’ Frederick continued, ‘but I had hoped for something more – and now, if Jonathan is to come under our roof, I have fears that …’
I felt my breast constrict. ‘You fear what? That I should fall in love with him once more?’ The words were released before I had time to censor them.
Frederick looked at me, his eyes hard. ‘You deny the possibility?’
I could not believe what my ears had heard; for though he spoke just words, the meaning behind them was unmistakeable. My pious, righteous, unbendable, difficult husband was jealous.
‘Yes, I do deny the possibility.’ I finally had the sense to exclaim. ‘My youthful affections for Jonathan were just that, youthful misadventure. I have not seen the gentleman in years.’
There was an interminable moment of stillness, before Frederick made to speak. I could almost see the thoughts flit across his proud face.
‘Forgive me then,’ he said with a bow and made to leave.
‘Wait,’ I cried and made to hold his arm. ‘If you wish for more affection in our marriage, or fear that my old affections for Jonathan may pose some threat to you – why do you not act to ensure it does not occur?’
His face hardened, and I feared I had spoken out of turn.
‘Such as what?’ he asked, his eyes darkened.
‘Offer me your affection instead. It embarrasses me to be more explicit, but Mr Reeves I want your affections! Yet you scarce allow yourself to even touch me.’ My words tumbled forth foolishly. ‘Why, on the last time you entered my rooms no more than three words were spoken! Is this how our marriage shall always be?’
His face hardened again. ‘Mrs Reeves, I do not
This was truly a day for revelations. Was this jealousy from my pious husband? For certainly these words had sprung forth from some deep part of him that actually cared – did they not? Confusion whirled through my head. I had never heard Frederick speak so. Ever . In six years of uneventful marriage, he had never mentioned our courtship, or lack thereof. Nor had he ever shown any indication that my failed courtship with his cousin had caused him even the slightest concern.
‘Mr Reeves, what are you saying?’ I asked.
My husband’s face remained tight– but not as it does whilst pontificating. A muscle convulsed in his jaw, as though some thought or feeling was being powerfully restrained.
‘You married me because your father wished it, did you not?’ His voice was hoarse, and held a bitterness I’d never before noted.
I nodded most cautiously. ‘Of course, but I could have refused you. I was not forced.’ My throat grew somewhat tight as I spoke.
Frederick shook his head and his eyes flashed with a dangerous light. I felt his gaze travel from my face and drag slowly down my neck, past my bust to linger at the cleft of my thighs, where I knew the dark hair of my mons was visible through the thin chemise.
He looked away before speaking. ‘I had, at one time, hoped that you may come to feel a greater affection for me than you had for Jonathan,’ Mr Reeves said, his tone less aggrieved but entirely more awkward.
I moved to speak but he silenced me with a sharp lift of his hand. I bit my tongue.
He coughed and continued. ‘I understand that Jonathan is younger and more handsome than I, but still I had hoped your affection for me would grow. Yet, six years into our marriage you still refer to me as Mr Reeves, and we are no closer now than when we first met.’
A surprised and hurt lump formed in my throat, and I tried to speak. For it is not that I have no affection for the man, surely. I admire him at times, and welcome his affections or at least I do when they are so rarely offered. Have I not made my attempts at marital harmony obvious enough?
I felt my brow crumple, and lifted my gaze to meet his.
‘I know that a marriage such as our may not be of an overtly affectionate nature,’ Frederick continued, ‘but I had hoped for something more – and now, if Jonathan is to come under our roof, I have fears that …’
I felt my breast constrict. ‘You fear what? That I should fall in love with him once more?’ The words were released before I had time to censor them.
Frederick looked at me, his eyes hard. ‘You deny the possibility?’
I could not believe what my ears had heard; for though he spoke just words, the meaning behind them was unmistakeable. My pious, righteous, unbendable, difficult husband was jealous.
‘Yes, I do deny the possibility.’ I finally had the sense to exclaim. ‘My youthful affections for Jonathan were just that, youthful misadventure. I have not seen the gentleman in years.’
There was an interminable moment of stillness, before Frederick made to speak. I could almost see the thoughts flit across his proud face.
‘Forgive me then,’ he said with a bow and made to leave.
‘Wait,’ I cried and made to hold his arm. ‘If you wish for more affection in our marriage, or fear that my old affections for Jonathan may pose some threat to you – why do you not act to ensure it does not occur?’
His face hardened, and I feared I had spoken out of turn.
‘Such as what?’ he asked, his eyes darkened.
‘Offer me your affection instead. It embarrasses me to be more explicit, but Mr Reeves I want your affections! Yet you scarce allow yourself to even touch me.’ My words tumbled forth foolishly. ‘Why, on the last time you entered my rooms no more than three words were spoken! Is this how our marriage shall always be?’
His face hardened again. ‘Mrs Reeves, I do not
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