older.
‘She’s eleven, yeah?’
‘Eleven.’
‘And your dad has been hurting her?’
His head still down, looking at his phone, a slight nod.
‘How long for?’
He didn’t speak.
‘Sam, it could be important.’
He looked up. ‘Why?’
‘It just might.’
‘I don’t know.’ Sam’s hands began to shake. ‘Today was the first time I actually saw anything but . . .’
His chest rose and fell, sharp breaths.
Ellie put her hand out and took his.
‘Take it easy,’ she said.
‘I’ve been thinking about it all day,’ he said. ‘She never said anything to me, not exactly, but I think she might’ve been trying to let me know. She used to come into my room late at night and just sit around. Like she was nervous. I thought she was just being a pest. I used to chuck her out. If I’d been a better brother, maybe she could’ve told me. I should’ve asked if anything was wrong.’
‘You can’t blame yourself. Your dad’s the one who’s been doing awful things, not you.’
Sam held her gaze. ‘Do you blame yourself for your son jumping off the bridge?’
Ellie took a deep breath. ‘It’s different.’
‘How?’
‘It just is.’ She hated the tone of her voice, like a strict schoolteacher. ‘Look, can you tell me exactly what happened today?’
He shook his head.
‘It might help.’
‘I can’t.’
His body was shaking again. He was on the edge of coming apart all the time. Ellie knew how that felt.
‘OK,’ she said. ‘But Libby left the house?’
‘After . . .’ He stopped, scratched at his hand. ‘I was just standing there looking at him. Then I went to find her but she must’ve run out the house. I was kind of in a trance or something. I don’t even know if she has her phone with her.’
‘Where might she have gone?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Could she be back home by now?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Why not?’
‘She saw me, and Dad. Saw the knife and everything.’
‘So?’
‘Would you go back if it was you?’
Ellie thought. ‘Maybe, if I had nowhere else to go.’
‘There is nowhere else.’
‘What about a secret place she likes to hang out?’
He shook his head. ‘Nothing like that.’
‘Are you sure?’
He looked up. ‘Shit. There was somewhere she mentioned, I never thought before.’
‘What?’
‘She’s been smoking with her friend Cassie. I told her it’s stupid. Cassie’s dad has a lock-up garage, they go there. I think it’s on the lane under the rail bridge, past the Hawes Inn?’
Ellie nodded. ‘I’ll try there first.’
‘And if she’s not there?’
‘I’ll try your home.’
‘That’s too dangerous.’
Ellie got up. ‘I need to find out what the situation is with your dad anyway.’
‘How are you going to do that?’
She put her phone in her pocket. ‘I don’t know yet. I’ll find Libby and I’ll find out what’s happening, then we can start getting things sorted.’
‘This is never going to be sorted,’ Sam said.
Ellie looked at him. ‘It will. Things won’t be the same again, but there’s still a way out of this for you, I promise.’
‘You can’t promise that,’ Sam said.
11
Back on the pier she stared at the old crane perched at the end of the quay, all rust and flaky paint. She turned to take in the marina. Decay everywhere. Port Edgar was going to the dogs and it was only going to get worse with the closure of the sailing school. Ben had worked there for seven years and they were shutting it down. The council said they would try to get him something else but that was just talk, they couldn’t afford to keep on staff, and besides, there wasn’t anywhere else on the east coast that taught sailing through local authorities.
She looked at the Porpoise. She was a rickety old thing, and they might have to sell her soon anyway. With Ben out of a job and her still signed off long-term sick from Marine Scotland they couldn’t justify it. The government’s enthusiasm for renewables
‘She’s eleven, yeah?’
‘Eleven.’
‘And your dad has been hurting her?’
His head still down, looking at his phone, a slight nod.
‘How long for?’
He didn’t speak.
‘Sam, it could be important.’
He looked up. ‘Why?’
‘It just might.’
‘I don’t know.’ Sam’s hands began to shake. ‘Today was the first time I actually saw anything but . . .’
His chest rose and fell, sharp breaths.
Ellie put her hand out and took his.
‘Take it easy,’ she said.
‘I’ve been thinking about it all day,’ he said. ‘She never said anything to me, not exactly, but I think she might’ve been trying to let me know. She used to come into my room late at night and just sit around. Like she was nervous. I thought she was just being a pest. I used to chuck her out. If I’d been a better brother, maybe she could’ve told me. I should’ve asked if anything was wrong.’
‘You can’t blame yourself. Your dad’s the one who’s been doing awful things, not you.’
Sam held her gaze. ‘Do you blame yourself for your son jumping off the bridge?’
Ellie took a deep breath. ‘It’s different.’
‘How?’
‘It just is.’ She hated the tone of her voice, like a strict schoolteacher. ‘Look, can you tell me exactly what happened today?’
He shook his head.
‘It might help.’
‘I can’t.’
His body was shaking again. He was on the edge of coming apart all the time. Ellie knew how that felt.
‘OK,’ she said. ‘But Libby left the house?’
‘After . . .’ He stopped, scratched at his hand. ‘I was just standing there looking at him. Then I went to find her but she must’ve run out the house. I was kind of in a trance or something. I don’t even know if she has her phone with her.’
‘Where might she have gone?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Could she be back home by now?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Why not?’
‘She saw me, and Dad. Saw the knife and everything.’
‘So?’
‘Would you go back if it was you?’
Ellie thought. ‘Maybe, if I had nowhere else to go.’
‘There is nowhere else.’
‘What about a secret place she likes to hang out?’
He shook his head. ‘Nothing like that.’
‘Are you sure?’
He looked up. ‘Shit. There was somewhere she mentioned, I never thought before.’
‘What?’
‘She’s been smoking with her friend Cassie. I told her it’s stupid. Cassie’s dad has a lock-up garage, they go there. I think it’s on the lane under the rail bridge, past the Hawes Inn?’
Ellie nodded. ‘I’ll try there first.’
‘And if she’s not there?’
‘I’ll try your home.’
‘That’s too dangerous.’
Ellie got up. ‘I need to find out what the situation is with your dad anyway.’
‘How are you going to do that?’
She put her phone in her pocket. ‘I don’t know yet. I’ll find Libby and I’ll find out what’s happening, then we can start getting things sorted.’
‘This is never going to be sorted,’ Sam said.
Ellie looked at him. ‘It will. Things won’t be the same again, but there’s still a way out of this for you, I promise.’
‘You can’t promise that,’ Sam said.
11
Back on the pier she stared at the old crane perched at the end of the quay, all rust and flaky paint. She turned to take in the marina. Decay everywhere. Port Edgar was going to the dogs and it was only going to get worse with the closure of the sailing school. Ben had worked there for seven years and they were shutting it down. The council said they would try to get him something else but that was just talk, they couldn’t afford to keep on staff, and besides, there wasn’t anywhere else on the east coast that taught sailing through local authorities.
She looked at the Porpoise. She was a rickety old thing, and they might have to sell her soon anyway. With Ben out of a job and her still signed off long-term sick from Marine Scotland they couldn’t justify it. The government’s enthusiasm for renewables
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