sort, Lisa — they are my kind.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks, but her remaining shred of pride forced her to make no sound. He ranted, still gripping her face, “The dark side of that life? Despite more admiration than you could possibly handle, you will always wake alone in the morning.” He let it hang in the air, condemning her.
“You will be a master of abortifacients, and must endure parents boasting about their children. You will think they speak of nothing else. But that is not the worst of it. What does a courtesan do when she has lost her bloom? If she is clever she will make herself a wit among the company who will still have her. But ultimately, she is alone in the end. I cannot imagine you so, Alysia.”
When he finally let go, her shoulders shook with her weeping, and he gathered her in his arms.
Alysia wiped her face. “You make it sound as though I have any choice in the matter. You forget that daughters of courtesans grow up to be courtesans. Whatever fortune I may have is under the care of Lord Courtenay. I am indebted to him, since my own money is apparently insufficient.”
They were both breathing harder, restless with frustration, but at least he was listening. “You may suppose I could choose to be a governess instead? Violet Villier has not faded from public memory, and I resemble her too closely to succeed in changing my name. No family would take me, Drew, and you know it.”
As she gained control over her emotions, she found she resented Andrew’s self-righteous speech. “You may fault me for lacking the courage to strike out on my own, but I know too well what awaits me if I do. So, since I must be a whore— ” she bristled with satisfaction as he startled at the word, “Forgive me for choosing to do it comfortably. No, Andrew. My greatest fault shall be cowardice.”
“Then take your duke.”
“And betray your sister? If you think I would actually do that, nothing else I have to say matters.”
“Then you will go to Harringer? What has my sister done to earn such loyalty? Does she comprehend your sacrifice, I wonder?
“I will not make myself a martyr to you.”
Silence from Andrew.
“Are you finished berating me? I had better go cut the necks of my gowns lower, if you will excuse me.”
He cupped her face gently this time and put his lips to her ear. “There is another choice. You could be my mistress.”
Her mind made a sound like the crash of the waterfall.
“You would betray no one, and I wouldn’t bring cattle or goblets of blood into our bed. Do you know the viscount? I do. He is thought handsome and dashing, but behind closed doors he is disgusting and probably insane, Lisa. All of London knows it; I wonder that my father does not. Take me instead.”
“No. Andrew, I wouldn’t do it to your wife, either.”
“I have no wife.”
“But you shall, and sooner rather than later, I predict.”
“I don’t want to marry.”
She laughed bitterly. “You have no choice in the matter.” With great effort she softened her voice, “Don’t give up on the peerage because of one silly Pomeranian. I assure my lord he shall have his pick among the diamonds of the first water.”
“My friend does not flatter me by implying I am so mercenary as to select a wife solely for her rank and wealth.”
“On the contrary, I wish you the rarest of joys: a loving and affectionate marriage. You can’t have that with a mistress lurking about.”
“Then you shall be my wife. That is my only chance of such a marriage.”
“Marvelous,” she retorted. “The future Marquess of Courtenay, tainting generations of noble blood with that of an illegitimate orphan.”
“I do not offer it in jest!”
“And I do not reject the honor of it. Nor am I insensible of—”
“I have loved you all my life, Alysia.”
She paused and closed her eyes, willing herself to look past his searing words to the truth. “What about your duty to family? Your political ambitions? Your
Tears streamed down her cheeks, but her remaining shred of pride forced her to make no sound. He ranted, still gripping her face, “The dark side of that life? Despite more admiration than you could possibly handle, you will always wake alone in the morning.” He let it hang in the air, condemning her.
“You will be a master of abortifacients, and must endure parents boasting about their children. You will think they speak of nothing else. But that is not the worst of it. What does a courtesan do when she has lost her bloom? If she is clever she will make herself a wit among the company who will still have her. But ultimately, she is alone in the end. I cannot imagine you so, Alysia.”
When he finally let go, her shoulders shook with her weeping, and he gathered her in his arms.
Alysia wiped her face. “You make it sound as though I have any choice in the matter. You forget that daughters of courtesans grow up to be courtesans. Whatever fortune I may have is under the care of Lord Courtenay. I am indebted to him, since my own money is apparently insufficient.”
They were both breathing harder, restless with frustration, but at least he was listening. “You may suppose I could choose to be a governess instead? Violet Villier has not faded from public memory, and I resemble her too closely to succeed in changing my name. No family would take me, Drew, and you know it.”
As she gained control over her emotions, she found she resented Andrew’s self-righteous speech. “You may fault me for lacking the courage to strike out on my own, but I know too well what awaits me if I do. So, since I must be a whore— ” she bristled with satisfaction as he startled at the word, “Forgive me for choosing to do it comfortably. No, Andrew. My greatest fault shall be cowardice.”
“Then take your duke.”
“And betray your sister? If you think I would actually do that, nothing else I have to say matters.”
“Then you will go to Harringer? What has my sister done to earn such loyalty? Does she comprehend your sacrifice, I wonder?
“I will not make myself a martyr to you.”
Silence from Andrew.
“Are you finished berating me? I had better go cut the necks of my gowns lower, if you will excuse me.”
He cupped her face gently this time and put his lips to her ear. “There is another choice. You could be my mistress.”
Her mind made a sound like the crash of the waterfall.
“You would betray no one, and I wouldn’t bring cattle or goblets of blood into our bed. Do you know the viscount? I do. He is thought handsome and dashing, but behind closed doors he is disgusting and probably insane, Lisa. All of London knows it; I wonder that my father does not. Take me instead.”
“No. Andrew, I wouldn’t do it to your wife, either.”
“I have no wife.”
“But you shall, and sooner rather than later, I predict.”
“I don’t want to marry.”
She laughed bitterly. “You have no choice in the matter.” With great effort she softened her voice, “Don’t give up on the peerage because of one silly Pomeranian. I assure my lord he shall have his pick among the diamonds of the first water.”
“My friend does not flatter me by implying I am so mercenary as to select a wife solely for her rank and wealth.”
“On the contrary, I wish you the rarest of joys: a loving and affectionate marriage. You can’t have that with a mistress lurking about.”
“Then you shall be my wife. That is my only chance of such a marriage.”
“Marvelous,” she retorted. “The future Marquess of Courtenay, tainting generations of noble blood with that of an illegitimate orphan.”
“I do not offer it in jest!”
“And I do not reject the honor of it. Nor am I insensible of—”
“I have loved you all my life, Alysia.”
She paused and closed her eyes, willing herself to look past his searing words to the truth. “What about your duty to family? Your political ambitions? Your
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