trophy, an extensive library of police procedure manuals, including
Forensics for the Overqualified,
a copy of
Les Miserables
(described as a stirring tale of the brave and tragic Lestrade who refuses to give up on the worldâs second most famous literary cold case; the most famous literary cold case is covered by the books:
Who Really Killed Jesus?
and, for a more academic and judicial perspective, in the
You Be the Judge
series of legal comic books,
The Execution of Jesus, Volume 1: Death Penalty Gone Wrong, or Fry the Bastard
and
The Execution of Jesus, Volume 2: Would the Supreme Court Have Overturned the Decision?)
a copy of
The Trial,
and three televisions: one tuned to ESPN, one tuned to Judge Judy, and the third showing endlessly repeating loops of Jack Bauerâs greatest hits.
The chief stands at the front of the room. Cops sit in chairs, facing him. He says, âThese serial killings are an embarrassment to the city and to our department. We must catch these perps as soon as possible.â
One of the cops, a relentlessly ambitious, relentlessly handsome manâwith a jaw of marble, steely blue eyes, coal-black hair, a hint of silver in his carefully trimmed mustache, bronzed skin, six-pack (aluminum can) abs, a rock-hard grip, a tin ear, and an ironclad alibi for anything anyone might accusehim ofâis named Flint. He says, âWe know these women are behind it. All we have to do is prove it.â
Another cop, named Rico (a burly man, a manâs man, a man so manly that each matted hair on the backs of his hands oozes tiny drops of gleaming testosterone), asks, âHow do we do that?â
Flint smirks. âItâs a bunch of women. How hard can it be?â
The chief makes his decision known: âWeâll send in an infiltrator. Itâll take about five minutes to crack this case.â He looks at Flint and says, âStone, youâre volunteering.â
Flint shows his pearly white teeth. âI can outsmart them, no problem. Iâll take them down.â
The chief hands Flint some knitting needles and yarn. âLearn how to do this.â
Flint pauses, then asks, âYou want me ⦠to learn how to knit?â
The chief nods decisively. âMake them believe youâre one of them.â
âBut ⦠knitting?â
âYouâve had other tough assignments.â
âCâmon, Chief. Iâve got a family and a reputation. Send me back undercover with the Slaughterio Crime Family drug operation. Anything but this.â
âYou volunteered. Youâre going.â
Today is Swiss cheese day at the factory, and the women keep thinking of ham sandwiches.
After a spirited but inconclusive debate on the merits of yellow mustard versus Dijon, Brigitte asks, âDo you have the list of rapists we need to neutralize this week?â
Suzie holds up a piece of paper. She says, âI was thinkingJasmine and I could handle A through F. Mary and Christine could take G through L.â
Flint walks into the room and sits down. He starts knitting, slowly. His tongue protrudes in concentration. The women silently watch him. He continues knitting for a painfully long time. No one says a word.
Brigitte catches Ginaâs eye, motions her into a back room. Once out of hearing, Brigitte whispers, âSomething about him isnât right.â
Gina nods vigorously, and whispers back, âI know! Did you notice how he always drops his last stitch?â
Brigitte says, âWe need to get rid of him.â
âBut how?â
âLeave it to me.â
The two return to the main room and sit down.
Brigitte asks the group, âSo, has anyone seen that new shade of Revlon, Sirenâs Kiss?â
Jasmine catches on immediately. She squeals, âOh. My. God! Itâs divine! I was thinking of wearing it with Go to Bed Red polish on my fingernails, and Mad Lust on my toenails, which matches perfectly with these new strappy stilettos
Lauren St. John
Anne Ferretti
Sarah Price
J. Brent Eaton
T.R. Ragan
Kalissa Alexander
Aileen Fish
Joseph Conrad
Gail Z. Martin
SJ McCoy