The Knitting Circle Rapist Annihilation Squad

The Knitting Circle Rapist Annihilation Squad by Derrick Jensen, Stephanie McMillan Page A

Book: The Knitting Circle Rapist Annihilation Squad by Derrick Jensen, Stephanie McMillan Read Free Book Online
Authors: Derrick Jensen, Stephanie McMillan
Tags: Feminism
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trophy, an extensive library of police procedure manuals, including
Forensics for the Overqualified,
a copy of
Les Miserables
(described as a stirring tale of the brave and tragic Lestrade who refuses to give up on the world’s second most famous literary cold case; the most famous literary cold case is covered by the books:
Who Really Killed Jesus?
and, for a more academic and judicial perspective, in the
You Be the Judge
series of legal comic books,
The Execution of Jesus, Volume 1: Death Penalty Gone Wrong, or Fry the Bastard
and
The Execution of Jesus, Volume 2: Would the Supreme Court Have Overturned the Decision?)
a copy of
The Trial,
and three televisions: one tuned to ESPN, one tuned to Judge Judy, and the third showing endlessly repeating loops of Jack Bauer’s greatest hits.
    The chief stands at the front of the room. Cops sit in chairs, facing him. He says, “These serial killings are an embarrassment to the city and to our department. We must catch these perps as soon as possible.”
    One of the cops, a relentlessly ambitious, relentlessly handsome man—with a jaw of marble, steely blue eyes, coal-black hair, a hint of silver in his carefully trimmed mustache, bronzed skin, six-pack (aluminum can) abs, a rock-hard grip, a tin ear, and an ironclad alibi for anything anyone might accusehim of—is named Flint. He says, “We know these women are behind it. All we have to do is prove it.”
    Another cop, named Rico (a burly man, a man’s man, a man so manly that each matted hair on the backs of his hands oozes tiny drops of gleaming testosterone), asks, “How do we do that?”
    Flint smirks. “It’s a bunch of women. How hard can it be?”
    The chief makes his decision known: “We’ll send in an infiltrator. It’ll take about five minutes to crack this case.” He looks at Flint and says, “Stone, you’re volunteering.”
    Flint shows his pearly white teeth. “I can outsmart them, no problem. I’ll take them down.”
    The chief hands Flint some knitting needles and yarn. “Learn how to do this.”
    Flint pauses, then asks, “You want me … to learn how to knit?”
    The chief nods decisively. “Make them believe you’re one of them.”
    â€œBut … knitting?”
    â€œYou’ve had other tough assignments.”
    â€œC’mon, Chief. I’ve got a family and a reputation. Send me back undercover with the Slaughterio Crime Family drug operation. Anything but this.”
    â€œYou volunteered. You’re going.”
    Today is Swiss cheese day at the factory, and the women keep thinking of ham sandwiches.
    After a spirited but inconclusive debate on the merits of yellow mustard versus Dijon, Brigitte asks, “Do you have the list of rapists we need to neutralize this week?”
    Suzie holds up a piece of paper. She says, “I was thinkingJasmine and I could handle A through F. Mary and Christine could take G through L.”
    Flint walks into the room and sits down. He starts knitting, slowly. His tongue protrudes in concentration. The women silently watch him. He continues knitting for a painfully long time. No one says a word.
    Brigitte catches Gina’s eye, motions her into a back room. Once out of hearing, Brigitte whispers, “Something about him isn’t right.”
    Gina nods vigorously, and whispers back, “I know! Did you notice how he always drops his last stitch?”
    Brigitte says, “We need to get rid of him.”
    â€œBut how?”
    â€œLeave it to me.”
    The two return to the main room and sit down.
    Brigitte asks the group, “So, has anyone seen that new shade of Revlon, Siren’s Kiss?”
    Jasmine catches on immediately. She squeals, “Oh. My. God! It’s divine! I was thinking of wearing it with Go to Bed Red polish on my fingernails, and Mad Lust on my toenails, which matches perfectly with these new strappy stilettos

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