out."
"Well you're miserable and you're rich," Jacy countered. "I sure don't want to be like you."
"You sound exactly like your grandmother," Lois said, looking absently out the window. "There's not much danger you'll be like me. Have you ever slept with Duane?"
It was undoubtedly the most surprising conversation Jacy had ever had!
"Me?" she said. "You know I wouldn't do that, Momma."
"Well, you just as well," Lois said quietly, a little amused at herself and at life. She never had been able to resist shocking her mother; apparently it was going to be almost as difficult to resist shocking her daughter.
"Seriously," she added. "There's no reason you shouldn't have as much fun as you're capable of having. You can come with me to the doctor sometime and we'll arrange something so you won't have to worry about babies. You do have to be careful about that."
To Jacy what she was hearing was almost beyond belief. "But Momma," she said. "It's a sin unless you're married, isn't it? I wouldn't want to do that."
"Oh, don't be so mealymouthed," Lois shouted. "Why am I even talking to you? I just thought if you slept with Duane a few times you'd find out there really isn't anything magic about him, and have yourself some fun to boot. Maybe then you'd realize that pretty things and pretty people are what you like in life and we can send you to a good school where you'll marry some good-looking kid with the wherewithal to give you a pleasant life."
"But I don't want to leave," Jacy said plaintively. "Why can't I just stay here and go to college in Wichita?"
"Because life's too damn hard here," Lois. said. "The land's got too much power over you. Being rich here is a good way to go insane. Everything's flat and empty and there's nothing to do but spend money."
She walked over to Jacy's dresser and picked up the big fifty dollar bottle of Chanel No. 5 that Gene had given his daughter the Christmas before.
"May I have some of your perfume?" she asked. "I suddenly feel like smelling good."
"Help yourself," Jacy said, suddenly wishing her mother were gone. "Don't you have any?"
"Yes, but this is right here, and I feel like smelling good right now. Do you ever feel like doing anything right now?" She wet her palms and fingertips with perfume and placed her hands against her throat, then touched her fingers behind her ears. The cool scent was delicious. She dampened her hands again, touched her shoulders, and then stooped and ran her palms down the calves of her legs.
"That's lovely," she said. Almost at once the perfume made her feel less depressed, and when she looked at Jacy again she noticed how young she was. Jacy's hair was pulled back by a headband, and her face, clean of makeup, was so clearly a girl's face that Lois ceased to feel angry with her.
"This is the first time in months I've seen your eyelids," she said. "You should leave your face just like that-it would win you more. Makeup is just sort of a custom you've adopted. All you really need right now is an eyebrow pencil." Jacy looked blank and sleepy and Lois knew her advice was wasted.
"Okay," she said. "I'll let you alone. I probably confused you tonight and I do hope so. If I could just confuse you it would be a start. The only really important thing I came in to tell you was that life is very monotonous. Things happen the same way over and over again. I think it's more monotonous in this part of the country than it is in other places, but I don't really know that-it may be monotonous everywhere. I'm sick of it, myself. Everything gets old if you do it often enough. I don't particularly care who you marry, but if you want to find out about monotony real quick just marry Duane."
With that she left and walked down the thickly carpeted hall to her bedroom. As she walked through the door she heard her husband snoring; the only light in the room was the tiny orange glow of the electric blanket control. Lois sat down on the bed and rubbed her calves wearily. To kill
"Well you're miserable and you're rich," Jacy countered. "I sure don't want to be like you."
"You sound exactly like your grandmother," Lois said, looking absently out the window. "There's not much danger you'll be like me. Have you ever slept with Duane?"
It was undoubtedly the most surprising conversation Jacy had ever had!
"Me?" she said. "You know I wouldn't do that, Momma."
"Well, you just as well," Lois said quietly, a little amused at herself and at life. She never had been able to resist shocking her mother; apparently it was going to be almost as difficult to resist shocking her daughter.
"Seriously," she added. "There's no reason you shouldn't have as much fun as you're capable of having. You can come with me to the doctor sometime and we'll arrange something so you won't have to worry about babies. You do have to be careful about that."
To Jacy what she was hearing was almost beyond belief. "But Momma," she said. "It's a sin unless you're married, isn't it? I wouldn't want to do that."
"Oh, don't be so mealymouthed," Lois shouted. "Why am I even talking to you? I just thought if you slept with Duane a few times you'd find out there really isn't anything magic about him, and have yourself some fun to boot. Maybe then you'd realize that pretty things and pretty people are what you like in life and we can send you to a good school where you'll marry some good-looking kid with the wherewithal to give you a pleasant life."
"But I don't want to leave," Jacy said plaintively. "Why can't I just stay here and go to college in Wichita?"
"Because life's too damn hard here," Lois. said. "The land's got too much power over you. Being rich here is a good way to go insane. Everything's flat and empty and there's nothing to do but spend money."
She walked over to Jacy's dresser and picked up the big fifty dollar bottle of Chanel No. 5 that Gene had given his daughter the Christmas before.
"May I have some of your perfume?" she asked. "I suddenly feel like smelling good."
"Help yourself," Jacy said, suddenly wishing her mother were gone. "Don't you have any?"
"Yes, but this is right here, and I feel like smelling good right now. Do you ever feel like doing anything right now?" She wet her palms and fingertips with perfume and placed her hands against her throat, then touched her fingers behind her ears. The cool scent was delicious. She dampened her hands again, touched her shoulders, and then stooped and ran her palms down the calves of her legs.
"That's lovely," she said. Almost at once the perfume made her feel less depressed, and when she looked at Jacy again she noticed how young she was. Jacy's hair was pulled back by a headband, and her face, clean of makeup, was so clearly a girl's face that Lois ceased to feel angry with her.
"This is the first time in months I've seen your eyelids," she said. "You should leave your face just like that-it would win you more. Makeup is just sort of a custom you've adopted. All you really need right now is an eyebrow pencil." Jacy looked blank and sleepy and Lois knew her advice was wasted.
"Okay," she said. "I'll let you alone. I probably confused you tonight and I do hope so. If I could just confuse you it would be a start. The only really important thing I came in to tell you was that life is very monotonous. Things happen the same way over and over again. I think it's more monotonous in this part of the country than it is in other places, but I don't really know that-it may be monotonous everywhere. I'm sick of it, myself. Everything gets old if you do it often enough. I don't particularly care who you marry, but if you want to find out about monotony real quick just marry Duane."
With that she left and walked down the thickly carpeted hall to her bedroom. As she walked through the door she heard her husband snoring; the only light in the room was the tiny orange glow of the electric blanket control. Lois sat down on the bed and rubbed her calves wearily. To kill
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