The LeBaron Secret by Stephen; Birmingham Page B

“He happens to be a horse’s ass. But what do you mean by this upscale business?”
    â€œThe banker. The town’s most upright citizen, the pillar of the community.”
    â€œAre you trying to say that bankers drink Baronet wines?”
    â€œThat’s implicit, yes, in the copy. A subliminal message. Upscale.”
    â€œBut that’s bull-do, Mike. Bankers don’t drink Baronet wines—not in this town or any other. They drink a Beefeater martini with a twist, or Johnnie Walker Scotch. Or something equally respectable.”
    â€œOf course, that’s only a very minor copy point, Mrs. LeBaron. That’s the subliminal, the upscale part. The main point is—”
    â€œYes, let’s get back to the main point,” Sari says. “The main point of all this is ‘Baronet—The Wine You Can Trust,’ as I see it. So let me ask you this: Is there any reason why anyone should not trust Baronet wines? Is there any reason why anyone should trust Baronet more than any other wine? Trust Baronet to do what? Not get you tipsy? Not make you upchuck, or give you cirrhosis of the liver if you drink too much? Not give you a hangover? Face it, Mike, our wine is cheap jug wine, always has been. It’s not champagne, and it’s not Scotch or bonded bourbon. Baronet is blue-collar stuff. Kids drink it in fern bars that can’t afford a liquor license. They drink it at fraternity-house parties. They buy it by the gallon to spike the punch. We’re not trying to be Beaulieu or Paul Masson or even Almaden. We’re just a plain old honest wine with a low sticker, and people drink it because they get a pleasant buzz. We’re the house wine, seventy-five cents a glass in some of your not-so-better restaurants. That’s what we are, and always have been.”
    â€œBut with the taste emphasis changing these days, Mrs. LeBaron, and the—”
    â€œBull-do! If the public were turning away from our wine, we’d see it in the bottom line, wouldn’t we? If we’re doing something wrong, we’d see it in the sales figures, wouldn’t we? But we don’t. So why are we changing our ad approach, with this upscale business? Next thing you know, you’ll be suggesting I buy ad space in Town & Country , or Architectural Digest , or la-di-da books like that! If you want to give me something new, give me something lighthearted—something that’s about good, inexpensive fun . Are banks lighthearted? Banks are about interest rates.” She spreads the palms of her hands flat on the desktop and looks at each of the three young men in turn. “If you ask me, gentlemen, if there’s one thing Baronet wines are not about, it’s banks .”
    There is silence now, and all around the room the Madison Avenue boys’ faces are crestfallen and disconsolate, and all at once Sari feels almost sorry for them. They are so very young, and their young hopes look so very dashed. “Tell me,” she says in a gentler tone, “has my sister-in-law approved any of this stuff?”
    Their expressions grow even more morose. It is difficult for them, after all, to hear all their hard work dismissed as “this stuff.”
    â€œMiss LeBaron reviews every agency presentation very carefully before it is presented to the client,” Mike Geraghty says rather stiffly.
    â€œWell, Joanna must be losing her marbles,” Sari says.
    With that, Eric LeBaron clears his throat softly, leans forward on the sofa, and makes a steeple of his fingers. “Excuse me, Mother,” he says. It is the first time he has spoken.
    Sari throws him a quick look. “Yes, Eric?”
    â€œExcuse me, Mother, but I think I see what these fellows are trying to do.”
    Now there is a collective, if inaudible, sigh of relief in the room. All is not yet utterly lost for the boys. Another opinion is at least being offered, and there is a fleeting chance—a