The Less Than Perfect Wedding

The Less Than Perfect Wedding by Sam Westland Page A

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Authors: Sam Westland
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"Ugh," he groaned as I poked him viciously. "Honey, what are you doing?"
    "Waking you up," I told him, not bothering to disguise the grumpiness in my voice. "We're going to go and meet my father this morning for brunch, apparently. He just called. Time to get up so we won't be late."
    Alex groaned again. "Do we have to?"
    I stood up, cringing slightly as my bare feet landed on the frigid wooden floor. "He's going to be your father-in-law pretty soon," I commented, grabbing my bathrobe from its hook on the back of my bedroom door. I shrugged into the robe. "If I were you, I wouldn't want to get on his bad side."
    *
    When we got to the restaurant, we walked in. At the front of the diner, the teenage hostess standing behind the faux-wooden counter started to greet us, but behind her, I could see my father, half-standing as he leaned out of the booth and waved at us.
    As we made our way through the narrow spaces between tables towards the booth, however, I was able to see that my father was not alone in the booth. Sitting on the inside beside him was a woman, wearing some sort of fuzzy jacket over an unevenly dyed, multi-colored tee shirt. Her reddish hair was forward, obscuring her face in a messy tangle. She appeared to be poring over some sort of menu, doing something with her hand.
    "Do you recognize that woman?" Alex whispered to me as we approached the table.
    I shook my head. I had never seen this woman before in my life. However, as my father sank back into the booth alongside her as we drew closer, I had a sneaking suspicion about who she might be.
    Reaching the booth, we slid into the opposite bench, Alex taking the inner seat. I gave my dad a brief hug before moving in next to him. "Hi, Dad," I said. I turned my attention to the woman sitting next to him. "Who's this?"
    At first, we all looked at the woman, waiting for her to introduce herself, or at least look up and realize that she had company at the table. However, she remained totally engrossed in her work. Peering a little closer, I realized that the woman was holding a bright orange crayon in her hand and was intently coloring in a children's paper menu. Through the shock of hair, I could see the tip of her tongue hanging out as she shaded in the mane of a lion.
    "Um, Danielle, Alex, this is Blossom," my dad said, after a solid, uncomfortable minute of silence. "She really wanted to meet you and congratulate you on getting married."
    Once again, we all turned to the woman, and watched as she set down the orange crayon, swapping it for the green one, which she began applying carefully to the grass around the lion's paws. Finally, my father tapped her with a finger, and she finally looked up. When she realized that two warm bodies were now sitting across from her, she jumped slightly, the crayon dropping from her fingertips.
    "Oh! Hello!" Blossom said, reaching up and shoving her hair back out of her face. After she ran her hands through her bird's nest of hair, it stuck straight up like the world's worst mohawk.
    She extended one hand towards us; I was the first to take it, but she didn't tighten her grip, her fingers sitting limply on my palm. After a few uncomfortable seconds of me holding onto her fingers, feeling like a fool, I released my hold. She then slid the hand over to Alex, directly across from her, who made the smarter choice of politely ignoring the invitation.
    Before the moment of awkward silence could continue much longer, we were fortunately interrupted by the arrival of the waitress, who laconically jotted down our order. My fiance and I both ordered the continental breakfast, while my dad requested a BLT with extra bacon. When she got around to Blossom, the woman gazed happily up at the waitress for a moment, her mouth slowly opening and closing.
    "Do you... do you have any pancakes?" Blossom finally said, smiling up at the lady.
    The waitress sneered down at us. "No, darlin'," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Diners like this don't

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