first.
“You’re not with the Choir of Envy,” I said. “Are you?”
“Huh? Me? I’ve got everything I want right here. Just chillin’.”
Caitlin made a heroic effort, but it got her as far as I did. The couch, sitting right next to me.
“Choir of Sloth,” she breathed. “Damn it. And he’s no fledgling, not with this kind of power. Naavarasi lied to us.”
I shook my head. It was the most I could manage.
“No, she didn’t. Her exact words were, ‘Prince Malphas told me that he’s a fledgling of the Choir of Envy.’ Know how that happened? ‘Hey, prince, tell me that this guy is a fledgling of the Choir of Envy.’ ‘Okay, he’s a fledgling of the Choir of Envy.’”
“She lies without lying,” Caitlin said. “And he’s not bound here. He just doesn’t feel like leaving.”
“Everything she told us was true. It was just enough truth to fuck us over. I’m stuck, Cait. I can’t get any juice.”
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. “My kind don’t mesh well with sloth. This is bad. I think the man in the other room starved to death. He starved instead of getting out of bed.”
“I offered him Cheetos,” Pete said. He held up the bag and shook it at us. “Want some?”
“No, Pete,” I said. “We don’t want Cheetos. We want you to turn your powers down so we can get off this couch.”
He shrugged, not quite getting it. “So get off the couch. I’m not stopping you. Hey, Judge Judy is on! She’s the coolest.”
We watched fifteen minutes of “Judge Judy.” It seemed like the best thing to do. Everything else was too much work.
“I don’t know what she’s getting out of this,” Caitlin murmured. She looked paler than usual. “Even if Naavarasi could get away with murdering us by proxy, why do it at all?”
I shook my head. “She’s not. Remember how she wanted to recruit me for her little army? The collar she gave me, the ‘get out of death free’ card?”
“You mean the utter insult to
me
she gave you? Yes. Of course.”
“Naavarasi will come by in about a week, give or take a few days,” I said. “When I’m dehydrated, half starved to death, and delirious. Then it’ll be an offer I can’t refuse. She’ll claim my soul, banish Pete here, and set you free. I’ll be bound to her service, and you’ll be embarrassed in front of your court. It’s a win-win for her.”
“C’mon, guys!” Pete whined from his sofa. “Save it for the commercials, will ya? I haven’t seen this one yet.”
While the television droned on, I gnawed at the problem, struggling to think through the layers of gauze wrapped around my brain. We needed something to overpower the aura of sloth, something to counter it, to motivate us to move.
The show cut to commercials. I watched listlessly as a parade of women rubbed a new invigorating shampoo into their scalps, the camera lingering on as much of their wet bodies as it could get away with on daytime TV. One of the models gasped at the camera, her expression almost orgasmic as her shampoo’s thirteen essential vitamin supplements gave her hair new life and shine.
I got an idea.
“Hey, Cait.”
“Daniel?” she said, her voice exhausted.
“I was just thinking. About the first morning we woke up together. You remember that? When we showered together?”
Her lips curled in a faint smile. “Of course I do.”
“The steam curling around us in white clouds,” I said. “Our naked bodies sliding together, wet, slippery. The way your skin felt as I ran that bar of soap slowly along your hip.”
A faint touch of color tinted her cheek. She got what I was doing. I knew she would.
“I was surprised you could stand up,” she said, “after that night. I remember the way you gasped, the way your muscles tensed and you clawed at the sheets while I rode you, again and again and again.”
“Guys,” Pete whined, “c’mon, knock it off, would ya?”
I found the strength to reach out and take Caitlin’s hand. Her
“You’re not with the Choir of Envy,” I said. “Are you?”
“Huh? Me? I’ve got everything I want right here. Just chillin’.”
Caitlin made a heroic effort, but it got her as far as I did. The couch, sitting right next to me.
“Choir of Sloth,” she breathed. “Damn it. And he’s no fledgling, not with this kind of power. Naavarasi lied to us.”
I shook my head. It was the most I could manage.
“No, she didn’t. Her exact words were, ‘Prince Malphas told me that he’s a fledgling of the Choir of Envy.’ Know how that happened? ‘Hey, prince, tell me that this guy is a fledgling of the Choir of Envy.’ ‘Okay, he’s a fledgling of the Choir of Envy.’”
“She lies without lying,” Caitlin said. “And he’s not bound here. He just doesn’t feel like leaving.”
“Everything she told us was true. It was just enough truth to fuck us over. I’m stuck, Cait. I can’t get any juice.”
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. “My kind don’t mesh well with sloth. This is bad. I think the man in the other room starved to death. He starved instead of getting out of bed.”
“I offered him Cheetos,” Pete said. He held up the bag and shook it at us. “Want some?”
“No, Pete,” I said. “We don’t want Cheetos. We want you to turn your powers down so we can get off this couch.”
He shrugged, not quite getting it. “So get off the couch. I’m not stopping you. Hey, Judge Judy is on! She’s the coolest.”
We watched fifteen minutes of “Judge Judy.” It seemed like the best thing to do. Everything else was too much work.
“I don’t know what she’s getting out of this,” Caitlin murmured. She looked paler than usual. “Even if Naavarasi could get away with murdering us by proxy, why do it at all?”
I shook my head. “She’s not. Remember how she wanted to recruit me for her little army? The collar she gave me, the ‘get out of death free’ card?”
“You mean the utter insult to
me
she gave you? Yes. Of course.”
“Naavarasi will come by in about a week, give or take a few days,” I said. “When I’m dehydrated, half starved to death, and delirious. Then it’ll be an offer I can’t refuse. She’ll claim my soul, banish Pete here, and set you free. I’ll be bound to her service, and you’ll be embarrassed in front of your court. It’s a win-win for her.”
“C’mon, guys!” Pete whined from his sofa. “Save it for the commercials, will ya? I haven’t seen this one yet.”
While the television droned on, I gnawed at the problem, struggling to think through the layers of gauze wrapped around my brain. We needed something to overpower the aura of sloth, something to counter it, to motivate us to move.
The show cut to commercials. I watched listlessly as a parade of women rubbed a new invigorating shampoo into their scalps, the camera lingering on as much of their wet bodies as it could get away with on daytime TV. One of the models gasped at the camera, her expression almost orgasmic as her shampoo’s thirteen essential vitamin supplements gave her hair new life and shine.
I got an idea.
“Hey, Cait.”
“Daniel?” she said, her voice exhausted.
“I was just thinking. About the first morning we woke up together. You remember that? When we showered together?”
Her lips curled in a faint smile. “Of course I do.”
“The steam curling around us in white clouds,” I said. “Our naked bodies sliding together, wet, slippery. The way your skin felt as I ran that bar of soap slowly along your hip.”
A faint touch of color tinted her cheek. She got what I was doing. I knew she would.
“I was surprised you could stand up,” she said, “after that night. I remember the way you gasped, the way your muscles tensed and you clawed at the sheets while I rode you, again and again and again.”
“Guys,” Pete whined, “c’mon, knock it off, would ya?”
I found the strength to reach out and take Caitlin’s hand. Her
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