but I know her nurse’s mind is also measuring my temperature and pulse. “You have probably become anemic,” she reasons, “the way you exhaust yourself here without enough nourishment.”
My sister is right in a way, so I let her go on about iron pills, valerian drops, and arsenic shots. Nourishment is exactly what I need, but I don’t have the heart to tell Tatiana that I won’t find what I crave on my dinner plate or in a medicine vial.
As much as it troubles me, I wouldn’t give up my time in the lazaret for nearly anything in the world. Our good friend Ritka Khitrovo, who’s been one of Mama’s ladies-in-waiting, works the wards with us, and as much as I love my sisters, seeing Ritka and the other nurses is delicious as cracking open a new book every day. The lazaret stands hardly a verst beyond Anya’s house, and the security agents always shadow us, but motoring there and back on our own beguiles us with a taste of freedom until I can’t resist trying to carve a slice of it for myself.
As we leave the lazaret I eye the waiting motorcar. “Tatya, let’s stop in town. We could go to Gostiny Dvor to look at the shops and Mama would never know.”
Tatiana doesn’t break her stride. “Stop joking. You know we are not allowed to wander the streets.”
I snag at her sleeve like a beggar. “It’s practically on our way home, barely two blocks from Anya’s. We visit there all the time.”
She points an eyebrow at me. “ Konechno , with Mama, and an escort from the Life Guards regiment.”
“We won’t be in any danger.” I nod toward the security agents. “They’ll be right behind us, and we’re in our Red Cross uniforms, not court dresses and kokoshniki with pearls. Please, Tatya. Seeing something new would be like a tonic for me.”
Guilt nips my tongue. It isn’t fair to beg this way when I know how worried she is over me, even if what I’ve said is true. Still, I shut my mouth and manage to look my sister in the eye as she weighs the circumstances.
“All right,” Tatiana decides. “But not for long. And no place but Gostiny Dvor.”
“You’re a treasure.” I link my elbow through hers, and the two of us walk ahead like a court procession. The security agents’ voices scuffle together as Tatya and I stride past the motorcar and across the street with giggles clamped behind our teeth, but the men don’t dare stop us.
Out in the streets, people bustle all around us, and we bump among them like a pair of dice. I grin so wide my teeth must show—it’s thrilling, being part of a mass of people instead of watching them scatter and bob like a flock of ducks in the wake of the Standart .
When we reach the plaza of Gostiny Dvor, the crowd swarms in and out of the yellow and white archways and across the courtyard market. Tatiana steers me into the nearest shop. From her tug on my arm, I’m guessing it will be the only one we visit.
Immediately a display of postcard portraits of my sisters and me halts me just inside the door. “Aren’t they lovely?” the shopkeeper says. “They’re from right before the war, but they’re the latest official portraits of the imperial children, except for the ones of the elder two in their Red Cross uniforms. Grand Duchess Olga has become quite a lady, but Grand Duchess Tatiana is still the beauty, if you ask me.” A blush curtains my cheeks. The woman takes no notice. She hardly even takes time to breathe. “I hope they’ll make a new formal set soon. Those dresses they wear are so much more fashionable than nursing habits, don’t you think? Besides, I’m eager to see how the younger two are turning out. Lately the children’s portraits are selling much better than the tsar and tsaritsa’s. All this bad news, if you ask me.” Even in my nurse’s wimple I don’t dare raise my face, though I doubt the woman will be able to see past her own wagging tongue.
“Oh, Olga, look at this scarf!” Tatiana calls, and I rush to her side before
My sister is right in a way, so I let her go on about iron pills, valerian drops, and arsenic shots. Nourishment is exactly what I need, but I don’t have the heart to tell Tatiana that I won’t find what I crave on my dinner plate or in a medicine vial.
As much as it troubles me, I wouldn’t give up my time in the lazaret for nearly anything in the world. Our good friend Ritka Khitrovo, who’s been one of Mama’s ladies-in-waiting, works the wards with us, and as much as I love my sisters, seeing Ritka and the other nurses is delicious as cracking open a new book every day. The lazaret stands hardly a verst beyond Anya’s house, and the security agents always shadow us, but motoring there and back on our own beguiles us with a taste of freedom until I can’t resist trying to carve a slice of it for myself.
As we leave the lazaret I eye the waiting motorcar. “Tatya, let’s stop in town. We could go to Gostiny Dvor to look at the shops and Mama would never know.”
Tatiana doesn’t break her stride. “Stop joking. You know we are not allowed to wander the streets.”
I snag at her sleeve like a beggar. “It’s practically on our way home, barely two blocks from Anya’s. We visit there all the time.”
She points an eyebrow at me. “ Konechno , with Mama, and an escort from the Life Guards regiment.”
“We won’t be in any danger.” I nod toward the security agents. “They’ll be right behind us, and we’re in our Red Cross uniforms, not court dresses and kokoshniki with pearls. Please, Tatya. Seeing something new would be like a tonic for me.”
Guilt nips my tongue. It isn’t fair to beg this way when I know how worried she is over me, even if what I’ve said is true. Still, I shut my mouth and manage to look my sister in the eye as she weighs the circumstances.
“All right,” Tatiana decides. “But not for long. And no place but Gostiny Dvor.”
“You’re a treasure.” I link my elbow through hers, and the two of us walk ahead like a court procession. The security agents’ voices scuffle together as Tatya and I stride past the motorcar and across the street with giggles clamped behind our teeth, but the men don’t dare stop us.
Out in the streets, people bustle all around us, and we bump among them like a pair of dice. I grin so wide my teeth must show—it’s thrilling, being part of a mass of people instead of watching them scatter and bob like a flock of ducks in the wake of the Standart .
When we reach the plaza of Gostiny Dvor, the crowd swarms in and out of the yellow and white archways and across the courtyard market. Tatiana steers me into the nearest shop. From her tug on my arm, I’m guessing it will be the only one we visit.
Immediately a display of postcard portraits of my sisters and me halts me just inside the door. “Aren’t they lovely?” the shopkeeper says. “They’re from right before the war, but they’re the latest official portraits of the imperial children, except for the ones of the elder two in their Red Cross uniforms. Grand Duchess Olga has become quite a lady, but Grand Duchess Tatiana is still the beauty, if you ask me.” A blush curtains my cheeks. The woman takes no notice. She hardly even takes time to breathe. “I hope they’ll make a new formal set soon. Those dresses they wear are so much more fashionable than nursing habits, don’t you think? Besides, I’m eager to see how the younger two are turning out. Lately the children’s portraits are selling much better than the tsar and tsaritsa’s. All this bad news, if you ask me.” Even in my nurse’s wimple I don’t dare raise my face, though I doubt the woman will be able to see past her own wagging tongue.
“Oh, Olga, look at this scarf!” Tatiana calls, and I rush to her side before
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