The Love Sucks Club by Beth Burnett Page B

taken a toll
on her skin, giving her a drawn look. The ever-present anger shows in the deep
grooves around her eyes and the tight set of her mouth. Still, her eyes are
still a pretty shade of blue and her hair which is almost as brown as mine, has
only just started to go gray. She’s as tall as Sam, but thinner. She used to
work out a lot when we first got together, but lately, she has been doing
nothing but drinking, so she’s getting soft and saggy.
    Esmé takes my hand and tugs me
along. I notice my ex noticing and fight to keep the smile off my face. She’s
going to be wondering about this tonight. I give her a big grin and squeeze Esmé’s hand. Sam laughs and we all head toward the door.
When we reach it, I turn around once more. “Hey, how’s that twelve step thing
going?”
    Mandy looks sharply at the ex, and for
just a moment, Voldemort’s composure and her smug smile slip. Catching herself,
she shrugs and smiles again.
    “I’m taking it one day at a time.”
    “One drink at a time,” Sam responds.
    In the parking lot, we say goodbye to Susannah and Olivia and pile
into Sam’s truck. Esmé props herself up on my knee. Her bony butt digs into my
thighs and I’m forcibly reminded of Fran. Esmé isn’t
quite that skinny, but the comparison is there. I stare out the window,
ignoring the fact that she is on my lap. Sam, determining that Esmé lives relatively close to the grill, decides to drop
her off first. I’m partly grateful. I’m sure she wants to talk to me about the
run in with Voldemort. I never did get to tell her about the letter on my
counter. On the one hand, I’d like to talk to Sam alone. On the other hand, I’d
kind of like to be by myself for a while.
    When we reach Esmé’s house, she gives me
a quick hug before sliding off my lap. She thanks Sam and starts up the
sidewalk to her house. We watch her until she’s inside the door. Backing down
the driveway, Sam is silent for once. Staring out the window, I try to clear my
mind, not wanting to think about Voldemort or Mandy or even Esmé .
As Sam turns onto my dirt road and starts the long trek up the hill to my
house, I’m once again struck with the urge to cry. Blinking furiously, I stare
out the window the whole way home.

 
    Chapter Five
     
    The third official meeting of The Love Sucks Club has come to
order. We’re hunkered down in a back booth at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant on
Fifth Street. The Pit is a dirty, ugly place and the service sucks ,
but the pizza is awesome. Since most of our friends tend to like to sit in
places where you can be assured of not sticking to the seat, we are practically
guaranteed privacy. Being the founder and the co-president, I rap the table
with my gavel and call for order. Since there are only three members, this is,
perhaps, not strictly necessary, but I like to do things by the book. Sam calls
attendance.
    “Dana?”
    “Here.”
    “Roxanne?”
    “Here.”
    “Myself? Here.” She makes a check mark in a spiral notebook and
looks up at me. “All present and accounted for.”
    “Excellent, excellent. Do you want to read the minutes
from the last meeting?” I nod at Roxanne.
    “Sure.” Roxanne is a sixty something woman who lives in my
neighborhood. We met years ago when she was a co-worker of my ex. For a brief
time, I had speculated that they were having an affair, but I eventually came
to the conclusion that Roxanne was too classy and smart to get involved with an
idiot like my ex. Once my ex got fired from that office and went out to work as
a bartender in a string of bars, we didn’t see much of Roxanne. After the
breakup, she called me and asked if I wanted to start walking with her. We
still meet three times a week in the wee hours of the morning and walk several
miles. The first time we walked, I’m pretty sure I didn’t say more than three
words. After a couple of weeks, we were talking about everything from our exes
to lesbian invisibility to the issue of Trans people in