can’t sneeze in this town without someone hollering ‘bless you.’ If you worry about what people think, you may want to have your catharsis indoors.”
Morgan chuckled. “She must’ve thought I was insane.”
“Yep,” Jaclyn said and crunched a piece of ice between her teeth. “You’re right up there with Clarice Minden now.”
Morgan’s eyes widened. “She tried to show me her boobs in the grocery store this morning.”
Jaclyn laughed. “I bet Angie ran her out of there. She does it every other week.”
“Someone yelled at her, but I didn’t see who it was. Would she really have flashed me?”
“Oh, yeah,” Jaclyn said with a laugh. “Most of the time, she roams around her backyard naked, says it makes her feel one with nature. That’s why Betsy had Harlan build that strip of fence that divides their property.”
“And I thought I’d found Mayberry.”
“You have, just in an alternate universe. We even have moonshiners. Every now and then, one of the stills will explode in someone’s garage or in the woods. I don’t understand why they go to all that trouble, this town isn’t dry. Chet says it’s exciting, though.”
“Chet makes moonshine?”
Jaclyn nodded with a grin and crunched another piece of ice. “That’s why half of his teeth are missing. He got hit in the mouth with a pipe when his still exploded.”
Morgan started laughing. “You’re screwing with me.”
“I’m not, I swear. Look at his hands the next time you see him, he’s missing a thumb. I know you noticed the scar near his mouth. He’ll tell you he got that in a bar fight. People around here do all sorts of crazy shit like the Fall Regatta.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a not-boat race, and actual boats can’t be used. Competitors construct a vessel without a motor that’s supposed to float and try to get it across the lake to the finish line. Only three made it to the end last year, and that was a record. And they do this the weekend before Thanksgiving when the water’s getting cold.” Jaclyn shook her head. “I don’t understand the logic, but it’s pretty funny to watch.”
“If I don’t get a hit on my résumés, I may still be here then. I think I’d enjoy seeing that.”
“You need a hobby.” Jaclyn dug another piece of ice from her cup. “Collect driftwood and make planters out of the pieces or paint random objects like Clarice does. Find something that you enjoy, it’ll take your mind off your worries, and time will fly by.”
Morgan took a healthy swallow of her drink and began to feel a little light-headed. “That’s good advice. I’ve noticed that you’ve eaten most of your ice and drank very little.”
Jaclyn smiled. “No one likes to drink alone. I wanted you to be able to take the edge off and not feel self-conscious. I have a teenager who is supposed to be doing a history assignment, and I need to be clearheaded when I go in and find it incomplete.”
“You have responsibilities, I’m sorry for keeping you.”
“My son has to learn to be responsible enough to do his homework without me hounding him. I listen to fish stories all day and town gossip until it makes my head spin. Sometimes, I need a break from everyday life, so you did me a favor, too.”
Morgan looked out at the water and listened to the sounds of night birds and crickets. “It really is peaceful here. No wonder Dad liked it so much.”
“I hated it when I was a teenager. I thought it was so uncool to live in the swamp. All the kids on TV lived in cities and had plenty to do, places to go. For entertainment, we’d hide out in the cornfields or the marsh and drink the beer Skip stole from his dad. Instead of going to the mall, I shot skeet and fished, but you know what I do for entertainment now? I shoot skeet and fish, and for some strange reason, I enjoy it.”
“Do you still drink stolen beer in the cornfields?”
“No,” Jaclyn said with a smile, “I just make sure Austin doesn’t do
Morgan chuckled. “She must’ve thought I was insane.”
“Yep,” Jaclyn said and crunched a piece of ice between her teeth. “You’re right up there with Clarice Minden now.”
Morgan’s eyes widened. “She tried to show me her boobs in the grocery store this morning.”
Jaclyn laughed. “I bet Angie ran her out of there. She does it every other week.”
“Someone yelled at her, but I didn’t see who it was. Would she really have flashed me?”
“Oh, yeah,” Jaclyn said with a laugh. “Most of the time, she roams around her backyard naked, says it makes her feel one with nature. That’s why Betsy had Harlan build that strip of fence that divides their property.”
“And I thought I’d found Mayberry.”
“You have, just in an alternate universe. We even have moonshiners. Every now and then, one of the stills will explode in someone’s garage or in the woods. I don’t understand why they go to all that trouble, this town isn’t dry. Chet says it’s exciting, though.”
“Chet makes moonshine?”
Jaclyn nodded with a grin and crunched another piece of ice. “That’s why half of his teeth are missing. He got hit in the mouth with a pipe when his still exploded.”
Morgan started laughing. “You’re screwing with me.”
“I’m not, I swear. Look at his hands the next time you see him, he’s missing a thumb. I know you noticed the scar near his mouth. He’ll tell you he got that in a bar fight. People around here do all sorts of crazy shit like the Fall Regatta.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a not-boat race, and actual boats can’t be used. Competitors construct a vessel without a motor that’s supposed to float and try to get it across the lake to the finish line. Only three made it to the end last year, and that was a record. And they do this the weekend before Thanksgiving when the water’s getting cold.” Jaclyn shook her head. “I don’t understand the logic, but it’s pretty funny to watch.”
“If I don’t get a hit on my résumés, I may still be here then. I think I’d enjoy seeing that.”
“You need a hobby.” Jaclyn dug another piece of ice from her cup. “Collect driftwood and make planters out of the pieces or paint random objects like Clarice does. Find something that you enjoy, it’ll take your mind off your worries, and time will fly by.”
Morgan took a healthy swallow of her drink and began to feel a little light-headed. “That’s good advice. I’ve noticed that you’ve eaten most of your ice and drank very little.”
Jaclyn smiled. “No one likes to drink alone. I wanted you to be able to take the edge off and not feel self-conscious. I have a teenager who is supposed to be doing a history assignment, and I need to be clearheaded when I go in and find it incomplete.”
“You have responsibilities, I’m sorry for keeping you.”
“My son has to learn to be responsible enough to do his homework without me hounding him. I listen to fish stories all day and town gossip until it makes my head spin. Sometimes, I need a break from everyday life, so you did me a favor, too.”
Morgan looked out at the water and listened to the sounds of night birds and crickets. “It really is peaceful here. No wonder Dad liked it so much.”
“I hated it when I was a teenager. I thought it was so uncool to live in the swamp. All the kids on TV lived in cities and had plenty to do, places to go. For entertainment, we’d hide out in the cornfields or the marsh and drink the beer Skip stole from his dad. Instead of going to the mall, I shot skeet and fished, but you know what I do for entertainment now? I shoot skeet and fish, and for some strange reason, I enjoy it.”
“Do you still drink stolen beer in the cornfields?”
“No,” Jaclyn said with a smile, “I just make sure Austin doesn’t do
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