at one end, with sad eyes crying urine-yellow tears. There was no explanation of how a turd floating in water could show tears; presumably children didn’t care about such details.
Chance was watching with interest. She doubted he understood much, but evidently he identified with another baby, even one like this.
“How he wished he could be a Big Turd,” the gentle voice continued. “He had a cousin who was so big he had had to be removed from the man’s gut by a Caesarian section operation. It weighed twelve kilograms. That was surely the King of Turds! But the Littlest Turd was hardly more than a marble. He had emerged from the anus almost as an afterthought, unnoticed.”
The turd floated in the water, looking miserable. “Then he realized that he would get nowhere, depending on others to treat him fairly,” the voice continued. “He would never get flushed as long as he was the smallest piece of shit. So he resolved to do something about it. He realized that what he needed was more size, so that he could shove aside other turds and be first in line for the flushing. The only place he could grow was inside the colon of a living person. That was where the formative nourishment was. In there he could add layer on layer, steadily adding mass. He didn’t have to make it to super-turd status, just to enough mass to be no longer the smallest. So he resolved to do something about it. He would go find a suitable colon to occupy.” The Littlest Turd smiled. He sprouted small arms and legs and swam to the edge of the water. He scrambled out, struggling to cling to the slippery side. Despite herself, Veil found herself rooting for the game little fellow to make it. Finally he did, and got on the rim of the toilet below the seat. He was so small he didn’t need to climb over the seat; he simply rolled under it. He dropped to the bathroom floor, bounced, and extended his little legs again.
“The littlest Turd was on his way,” the voice said. “Now all he needs is a nice warm colon to get into. Who is there out there who will help the brave little fellow?” There was a pause. Then the punch line: “How about you?”
Fortunately Chance had finally nodded off. Still, Veil had to admit that aside from the nature of its protagonist, the story showed the values of decision and action. It was, in its fashion, wholesome.
But it got her thinking. She was like the Littlest Turd, in that she was stuck in a virtual toilet bowl, unable to escape her fate. The Turd had grown legs; she would have to take a more figurative approach.
She changed to the announcer’s channel. “I want your advice,” she said. “How can I improve my situation?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” he replied immediately, the picture showing a painted smiley face. It was clear now that there was a live person on the other end of this dialog, however much canned material there might have been before. “It’s no good doing nothing; that attracts the interest of relatively few, the lowbrows who know they can’t compete with better men. You need to catch the attention of superior men who are more likely to have good situations and pleasant dispositions. You could enjoy your year with one of those.” “My year of sex slavery.” “Of course. But a superior man is more likely to be gentle, and to con
sider your feelings. He would treat you more like a lady than a prostitute.” That did seem to be a recommendation. Of course what she really wanted was to escape this awfulness and return home, but she knew it would be unwise to say that openly. A sensitive man might be willing to allow her to go home, and possibly even to facilitate her return. She could certainly try her feminine wiles on him. These would exclude tempting him with sex, since he would have that already, and it would be essential that she never balk in that respect. But she was an attractive woman, and he might come to desire her favor as well as her body. It would help if she
Chance was watching with interest. She doubted he understood much, but evidently he identified with another baby, even one like this.
“How he wished he could be a Big Turd,” the gentle voice continued. “He had a cousin who was so big he had had to be removed from the man’s gut by a Caesarian section operation. It weighed twelve kilograms. That was surely the King of Turds! But the Littlest Turd was hardly more than a marble. He had emerged from the anus almost as an afterthought, unnoticed.”
The turd floated in the water, looking miserable. “Then he realized that he would get nowhere, depending on others to treat him fairly,” the voice continued. “He would never get flushed as long as he was the smallest piece of shit. So he resolved to do something about it. He realized that what he needed was more size, so that he could shove aside other turds and be first in line for the flushing. The only place he could grow was inside the colon of a living person. That was where the formative nourishment was. In there he could add layer on layer, steadily adding mass. He didn’t have to make it to super-turd status, just to enough mass to be no longer the smallest. So he resolved to do something about it. He would go find a suitable colon to occupy.” The Littlest Turd smiled. He sprouted small arms and legs and swam to the edge of the water. He scrambled out, struggling to cling to the slippery side. Despite herself, Veil found herself rooting for the game little fellow to make it. Finally he did, and got on the rim of the toilet below the seat. He was so small he didn’t need to climb over the seat; he simply rolled under it. He dropped to the bathroom floor, bounced, and extended his little legs again.
“The littlest Turd was on his way,” the voice said. “Now all he needs is a nice warm colon to get into. Who is there out there who will help the brave little fellow?” There was a pause. Then the punch line: “How about you?”
Fortunately Chance had finally nodded off. Still, Veil had to admit that aside from the nature of its protagonist, the story showed the values of decision and action. It was, in its fashion, wholesome.
But it got her thinking. She was like the Littlest Turd, in that she was stuck in a virtual toilet bowl, unable to escape her fate. The Turd had grown legs; she would have to take a more figurative approach.
She changed to the announcer’s channel. “I want your advice,” she said. “How can I improve my situation?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” he replied immediately, the picture showing a painted smiley face. It was clear now that there was a live person on the other end of this dialog, however much canned material there might have been before. “It’s no good doing nothing; that attracts the interest of relatively few, the lowbrows who know they can’t compete with better men. You need to catch the attention of superior men who are more likely to have good situations and pleasant dispositions. You could enjoy your year with one of those.” “My year of sex slavery.” “Of course. But a superior man is more likely to be gentle, and to con
sider your feelings. He would treat you more like a lady than a prostitute.” That did seem to be a recommendation. Of course what she really wanted was to escape this awfulness and return home, but she knew it would be unwise to say that openly. A sensitive man might be willing to allow her to go home, and possibly even to facilitate her return. She could certainly try her feminine wiles on him. These would exclude tempting him with sex, since he would have that already, and it would be essential that she never balk in that respect. But she was an attractive woman, and he might come to desire her favor as well as her body. It would help if she
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