The Meat Tree by Gwyneth Lewis Page B

independent existence of your own, but to be a pawn in others’ games. To have no face…

    Inspector of Wrecks
    Nona, I think this is violating the style of the game. The first bit was enough for Aranrhod’s part.

    Apprentice
    So you take on the features of whoever is strongest beside you. May you never know your own mind, but be always swayed by the latest argument.

    Inspector of Wrecks
    Nona, calm down!

    Apprentice
    So you change with the wind and have no core. No solid ground under you. May you hate yourself…

    Inspector of Wrecks
    Your heartbeat’s gone crazy. Nona! You need to leave. Now, this minute.

    Apprentice
    You shall have no self.

    Inspector of Wrecks
    I’m using the Emergency Exit switch and taking you with me. One, two, now!

    *

    Synapse Log 6 Feb 2210, 09:45

    Inspector of Wrecks
    She’s with me, crying. I hold her awkwardly in zero gravity. Pat her back. I’ve never seen a person exceed their role like that. The Mastermind of this programme didn’t design a pre-set role to withstand that kind of internal boost. It was clearly dangerous to her. Breathing’s shallow but she’s calming down. Waving me away, telling me she’s sorry and that she’s fine.
    I look dubious but she says she’s OK and wants to go back. I say, take ten.
    I’ve heard of hysteria like this before. I forgot she’s not a qualified professional, because it seemed to come so easily to her. It takes years to learn where your weak spots are, not to let the scenarios trigger them. What a fool I was, I’ve pushed her too far…

    *

    Joint Thought Channel 6 Feb 2210, 10:00

    Inspector of Wrecks
    Are you sure you want to go back in? You don’t have to.

    Apprentice
    I want to. I’m sorry. That won’t happen again.

    Inspector of Wrecks
    I don’t know if I should let you.

    Apprentice
    Oh please! Don’t you see that my reaction might mean that we’re getting somewhere? You said that everything was information. Well, let’s just log it and move on.

    Inspector of Wrecks
    That’s a pretty mature way of looking at your emotional life.

    Apprentice
    Look, I’m a grown-up and I want in. I can’t go home without knowing what happened. I’d always wonder. Please let me carry on.

    Inspector of Wrecks
    I’m just as keen to work this out.
    OK. I won’t push you about what happened to you. I don’t need the details or even the outline. But I do need to know if you get close to feeling like that again. So I’ll let you back in on one condition. That you promise to bale out before you reach that point.

    Apprentice
    I promise. I can do it.

    Inspector of Wrecks
    Don’t make me regret this, or make a mess of my last assignment before I retire. You could ruin my blameless record, my good name forever…
    This time you take Gwydion and I’ll be the dame. Again. I’m beginning to think you don’t like playing women.
    That’s better, a smile. Take some glucose and a protein drink and we’ll try again.

    *

    Joint Thought Channel 6 Feb 2210, 10:10

    Inspector of Wrecks
    Let me do the lion’s share of this visit.

    Apprentice
    Fine.

    Inspector of Wrecks
    So I’m Aranrhod and I’m in my fort, brooding. I fancy this palace is made of dark glass. She looks out on the world with the clarity of rage.
    I know that Gwydion’s part of this scene, but he’s nowhere in evidence. You stand back, and we’ll take it from Aranrhod’s point of view. I want you to keep your mind alert to notice if there’s anything strange about the characters’ relation to the child.

    Apprentice
    Do you have a special reason for that?

    Inspector of Wrecks
    I do. But I haven’t got time to explain now. I discovered something last night that makes me think that kids are the key.

    Apprentice
    You look very beautiful, like the Wicked Stepmother in Snow White .

    Inspector of Wrecks
    You know that