The Miraculous Makeover of Lizard Flanagan by Carol Gorman Page A

about the cholesterol and saturated fat we were shoving in our faces. I say, if it tastes good, who cares?
    Bob and Klondike sat at our feet, gazing up at us. Occasionally, one of them would whimper.
    â€œI could swear Bob practices that pitiful look when I’m not around,” I said.
    â€œHe does,” Zach said. “As soon as you leave for school, he runs up to your room, sits on your bed, and practices in front of the mirror.”
    I grinned. “And how would you know that?”
    â€œHe told Klondike, and Klondike can’t keep a secret.”
    I laughed and took the last bite of chocolate cake. Then I put the plate down for Bob and Klondike to lick clean. Zach did, too.
    We leaned against the porch railing and looked up at the sky. “A blanket of stars,” Zach said.
    â€œDo you think there’s intelligent life on other planets?” I asked.
    â€œI know there’s life, but I wouldn’t call it intelligent.”
    I grinned. “How come?”
    â€œI’ve seen the aliens.”
    â€œWhen was that?”
    â€œIt was about ten days ago,” he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “Klondike and I woke up about two in the morning, and my room was as bright as day. I went to my window, and hovering over the treetops was a huge, round ship with bright lights running around the edge.”
    â€œWhat did you do?” I asked.
    â€œI pulled on my jeans, and Klondike and I went outside.” Zach pointed to a large maple tree next to the garage. “Standing under the tree were two aliens. One of them came over and looked Klondike in the eyes and started making noises.
    â€œI realized that the alien thought Klondike was the master and I was the pet. He touched Klondike’s head, and before you could blink, we were all transported to the spaceship. He fed Klondike and me some blue food that tasted like cheese enchiladas.
    â€œâ€˜Zach, when do we get to go home?’ a voice said. I didn’t hear it with my ears; it came from inside my head. I looked at Klondike and realized he was talking to me!
    â€œI figured the food made us able to communicate with each other, mind-to-mind. The alien came over and mentally said to Klondike, ‘Is this your only human or do you have a herd?’
    â€œThis had to be the dumbest alien in the universe,” Zach said. “So I decided to show him that I was Klondike’s boss. I said, ‘Sit, Klondike. Speak. Roll over.’”
    â€œDid he do his tricks?” I asked.
    â€œNo,” Zach said. “Klondike said to the alien, ‘Get a load of this pet, telling me what to do.’ Then he laughed.”
    â€œKlondike laughed?” I said.
    â€œHis laugh sounds like Elmer Fudd in the cartoons, sort of like this: huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.”
    â€œHow did you get away from the aliens?” I asked.
    â€œSimple. I promised them Klondike’s firstborn son.”
    â€œI thought Klondike was fixed,” I said.
    â€œHe is.”
    I laughed. Zach sat back, grinning, and relaxed against the rail. “Maybe I’ll be a writer when I grow up. Either that or a professional baseball player.”
    Klondike ran up the porch steps, wagging his tail, and licked Zach’s face. Bob watched, wagging his own tail.
    â€œThat’s a great story,” I said. “You should tell the kids at school.”
    â€œYeah, maybe.” He paused. “You see the posters for the dance next week?”
    I sighed. I’d heard more about that stupid dance in the past few days than I ever wanted to hear in a lifetime.
    â€œYeah. I’m not wasting my time with it.”
    â€œMmm.”
    â€œYou don’t want to go, do you?”
    â€œWell,” Zach said, “I s’pose it’s a way to get to know the new people better.”
    â€œWhat new people?”
    â€œThe kids from other elementary schools.”
    â€œI think the friends I have now