behind me in line for the diving board.
I curled my toes and turned my head. “Nothing.”
“I saw them. They’re stuck together. Like a duck’s.”
The boys behind him laughed, which egged Jeremy on and he turned up the teasing a notch.
“Quack! Quack! Quack!” he shouted, flapping his arms as if they were wings.
My face got pizza-oven hot and it wasn’t from the scorching sun. Tears pooled in my eyes and I tried to be brave and hold them back but I couldn’t. I decided that I didn’t want to go off the diving board anymore. Instead, I found Grandma and stayed on my beach towel – legs crossed Indian-style so I could hide my feet – until she was ready to go home.
I became good at hiding things I didn’t want other people to know. It’s one of the reasons no one knew I was pregnant – not even Grandma. Course, by then she was so sick it took all of her energy to get through the day.
“Were those boys giving you trouble, Libby?” Tom asks the girls as they join him at the end of the block before going on to the next street.
“They were going to take all of the candy but Libby stopped them,” Emma says.
“Did you know the boys?”
“The one sounded familiar, but he was hiding behind that scary mask so I’m not sure,” Olivia says. “But if I hear his voice again, without the mask, I’ll remember.”
Matt was like Scary Mask. I was terrified of him and what he could do if he wanted. After he agreed to let Grandma adopt me, I wasn’t as afraid.
“Matt, you smell like rotten garbage and look just as bad,” Grandma said one night when Matt stopped by while on one of his binges.
“Give me some money, old woman, and don’t worry about the smell.”
“I’m not giving you another dime. I’ve given you enough.”
I heard the yelling and scrambled out of bed and stood behind Grandma, clutching her robe.
Matt looks at me. “What about her? You gonna give her all your money?”
“I’ll make a deal with you, Matt. You give me Sarah. Sign those papers I gave you a while back and I’ll write you a check.”
“How much?”
“As much as I can afford. Maybe a thousand.”
“You really want her that bad?”
“Yes,” Grandma said. “I think Sarah would be better with me.”
He sliced the air with his hand. “You can have her.”
He looked at me. “That what you want?”
I nodded. It was the only time he had asked me what I wanted.
Matt turned and staggered to the door. “I’ll sign those damn papers as soon as I get home. A thousand sounds good.”
Chapter 13
Olivia walks into her bedroom and tosses her ballet bag on her bed. I see Oscar is dead before she does. I know the blue betta fish sleeps a lot, but he’s definitely not sleeping now. Olivia walks over to feed him.
“You sleep too much, Oscar,” she says.
She taps her finger on the side of the glass fish bowl but Oscar doesn’t respond. She picks up the bowl and jiggles it. Still, no movement.
“Mom,” Olivia yells. “Something’s wrong with Oscar.”
Elizabeth walks in carrying a basket of laundry. “Maybe he’s sleeping.”
“He won’t wake up when I tap the bowl, and he usually always wakes up when I tap.”
Elizabeth sets the wash basket down and walks over and taps on the bowl, too. She picks up the bowl to get a closer look. “I’m sorry, Libby. But I think Oscar’s dead.”
Olivia’s eyes turn glassy and her lips tremble as she tries to be a big girl and keep her eight-year-old self from crying. But she loses the battle and bursts into tears. “I killed him. It’s my fault. I’m a bad fish mommy.”
Elizabeth wraps her arms around the heaving Olivia. “It’s not your fault Oscar died, Libby. Fish don’t live forever.”
“Maybe I didn’t change his water enough or feed him enough.”
“It wasn’t either of those things. You couldn’t have been a better fish mommy. Fish get old and die. Just like people. It’s a part of the circle of life.”
“Will you and Daddy
I curled my toes and turned my head. “Nothing.”
“I saw them. They’re stuck together. Like a duck’s.”
The boys behind him laughed, which egged Jeremy on and he turned up the teasing a notch.
“Quack! Quack! Quack!” he shouted, flapping his arms as if they were wings.
My face got pizza-oven hot and it wasn’t from the scorching sun. Tears pooled in my eyes and I tried to be brave and hold them back but I couldn’t. I decided that I didn’t want to go off the diving board anymore. Instead, I found Grandma and stayed on my beach towel – legs crossed Indian-style so I could hide my feet – until she was ready to go home.
I became good at hiding things I didn’t want other people to know. It’s one of the reasons no one knew I was pregnant – not even Grandma. Course, by then she was so sick it took all of her energy to get through the day.
“Were those boys giving you trouble, Libby?” Tom asks the girls as they join him at the end of the block before going on to the next street.
“They were going to take all of the candy but Libby stopped them,” Emma says.
“Did you know the boys?”
“The one sounded familiar, but he was hiding behind that scary mask so I’m not sure,” Olivia says. “But if I hear his voice again, without the mask, I’ll remember.”
Matt was like Scary Mask. I was terrified of him and what he could do if he wanted. After he agreed to let Grandma adopt me, I wasn’t as afraid.
“Matt, you smell like rotten garbage and look just as bad,” Grandma said one night when Matt stopped by while on one of his binges.
“Give me some money, old woman, and don’t worry about the smell.”
“I’m not giving you another dime. I’ve given you enough.”
I heard the yelling and scrambled out of bed and stood behind Grandma, clutching her robe.
Matt looks at me. “What about her? You gonna give her all your money?”
“I’ll make a deal with you, Matt. You give me Sarah. Sign those papers I gave you a while back and I’ll write you a check.”
“How much?”
“As much as I can afford. Maybe a thousand.”
“You really want her that bad?”
“Yes,” Grandma said. “I think Sarah would be better with me.”
He sliced the air with his hand. “You can have her.”
He looked at me. “That what you want?”
I nodded. It was the only time he had asked me what I wanted.
Matt turned and staggered to the door. “I’ll sign those damn papers as soon as I get home. A thousand sounds good.”
Chapter 13
Olivia walks into her bedroom and tosses her ballet bag on her bed. I see Oscar is dead before she does. I know the blue betta fish sleeps a lot, but he’s definitely not sleeping now. Olivia walks over to feed him.
“You sleep too much, Oscar,” she says.
She taps her finger on the side of the glass fish bowl but Oscar doesn’t respond. She picks up the bowl and jiggles it. Still, no movement.
“Mom,” Olivia yells. “Something’s wrong with Oscar.”
Elizabeth walks in carrying a basket of laundry. “Maybe he’s sleeping.”
“He won’t wake up when I tap the bowl, and he usually always wakes up when I tap.”
Elizabeth sets the wash basket down and walks over and taps on the bowl, too. She picks up the bowl to get a closer look. “I’m sorry, Libby. But I think Oscar’s dead.”
Olivia’s eyes turn glassy and her lips tremble as she tries to be a big girl and keep her eight-year-old self from crying. But she loses the battle and bursts into tears. “I killed him. It’s my fault. I’m a bad fish mommy.”
Elizabeth wraps her arms around the heaving Olivia. “It’s not your fault Oscar died, Libby. Fish don’t live forever.”
“Maybe I didn’t change his water enough or feed him enough.”
“It wasn’t either of those things. You couldn’t have been a better fish mommy. Fish get old and die. Just like people. It’s a part of the circle of life.”
“Will you and Daddy
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