could say anything, though, Tom jumped in. “Want a beer, Christy? How about you, Bill?” he asked, rummaging through our fridge.
“No thanks, hon,” she cheerfully called back.
“I’ll take one,” I said. I had a nagging feeling I’d need it.
“So,” she started. “Tom told me about the peace conference.”
What? Christ, I really need to stop telling Tom everything. The guy has a big fucking mouth, especially when it comes to women. He’s one of those people for whom it does not take a lot of effort to fuck their brains out.
My eyes narrowed at Christy, but I answered pleasantly, “Excuse me for one second.” With that, I grabbed the TV remote, turned, and chucked it at Tom; hitting him square in the side.
“Ow!” he yelled while I turned back to Christy.
“Now what was that?”
She replied as if I hadn’t just assaulted her boyfriend with a hunk of plastic. “Tom filled me in on the conference. I talked it over with my coven (witches have covens too...the assholes stole the idea from us vampires) and they think we should go too.”
I’m glad Tom hadn’t retrieved my beer yet because I would surely have choked on it at that moment.
“What?”
“Well, at least Harry does,” she said. Harry Decker was the leader of Christy’s coven, the VP of marketing at my company, and a complete nutcase. He was a firm believer in some dumbass prophecy proclaiming my existence heralded the end of wizard and witch kind. Thus, through faulty circular logic, he concluded that if I were to die, then this magic apocalypse wouldn’t occur. He had come pretty close to making good on the threat too. At the end of things, though, I managed to live and he wound up with a bloody nose (among other parts). Since then, (outside of a petty attempt to get me into trouble with our HR department) he had been lying low; however, I knew it was only a matter of time before he became a thorn in my side again. Guess it was springtime, because it looked as if that flower was blooming.
“Really?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at her, Mr. Spock style.
“Yes,” she replied conversationally as if we were discussing shades of paint rather than vampires and Sasquatches.
“Why?”
“Because this has potential repercussions for us all. If this goes badly, it could have a ripple effect for all of the races: Fae and demonic alike.”
“You’re shitting me right? Fae?”
“Fairy kind,” she explained.
“I always suspected there was a bit of fairy in Bill,” commented Tom, walking over and handing me a beer.
“Don’t make me look for the remote,” I warned. He sat and I addressed Christy again. “So let me get this straight. This meeting between the vampires and a pack of shit-flinging monkeys has dire consequences. As a result, your coven, a group who doesn’t exactly have my best interests in mind, wants to tag along?”
“I already told you, the prophecy is nothing personal.”
“Sorry. I tend to take being killed somewhat personally.”
“That aside, the Forest Folk are not to be...
“Forest Folk?” Tom and I asked simultaneously.
“Yes, the creatures you’ve upset with your...”
“Hold on there. I haven’t upset shit. Your kindly ‘Forest Folk’ were the ones who tried to put a kindly forest rock through my sternum.”
“Regardless of what happened, open warfare is simply not an option here.”
“Be that as it may,” I said, “you’re still not invited to...wherever the hell it is.”
“That’s not for you to say. My master has already reached out to your people in Boston.”
My eyes opened wide. Holy shit! Not only was this bitch hell bent on frying my ass, but now she was going over my head too. Talk about sticking it in and breaking it off.
“You talked with Boston?” She nodded in response. “The same Boston that’s aware of what you guys did while Gan was
“No thanks, hon,” she cheerfully called back.
“I’ll take one,” I said. I had a nagging feeling I’d need it.
“So,” she started. “Tom told me about the peace conference.”
What? Christ, I really need to stop telling Tom everything. The guy has a big fucking mouth, especially when it comes to women. He’s one of those people for whom it does not take a lot of effort to fuck their brains out.
My eyes narrowed at Christy, but I answered pleasantly, “Excuse me for one second.” With that, I grabbed the TV remote, turned, and chucked it at Tom; hitting him square in the side.
“Ow!” he yelled while I turned back to Christy.
“Now what was that?”
She replied as if I hadn’t just assaulted her boyfriend with a hunk of plastic. “Tom filled me in on the conference. I talked it over with my coven (witches have covens too...the assholes stole the idea from us vampires) and they think we should go too.”
I’m glad Tom hadn’t retrieved my beer yet because I would surely have choked on it at that moment.
“What?”
“Well, at least Harry does,” she said. Harry Decker was the leader of Christy’s coven, the VP of marketing at my company, and a complete nutcase. He was a firm believer in some dumbass prophecy proclaiming my existence heralded the end of wizard and witch kind. Thus, through faulty circular logic, he concluded that if I were to die, then this magic apocalypse wouldn’t occur. He had come pretty close to making good on the threat too. At the end of things, though, I managed to live and he wound up with a bloody nose (among other parts). Since then, (outside of a petty attempt to get me into trouble with our HR department) he had been lying low; however, I knew it was only a matter of time before he became a thorn in my side again. Guess it was springtime, because it looked as if that flower was blooming.
“Really?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at her, Mr. Spock style.
“Yes,” she replied conversationally as if we were discussing shades of paint rather than vampires and Sasquatches.
“Why?”
“Because this has potential repercussions for us all. If this goes badly, it could have a ripple effect for all of the races: Fae and demonic alike.”
“You’re shitting me right? Fae?”
“Fairy kind,” she explained.
“I always suspected there was a bit of fairy in Bill,” commented Tom, walking over and handing me a beer.
“Don’t make me look for the remote,” I warned. He sat and I addressed Christy again. “So let me get this straight. This meeting between the vampires and a pack of shit-flinging monkeys has dire consequences. As a result, your coven, a group who doesn’t exactly have my best interests in mind, wants to tag along?”
“I already told you, the prophecy is nothing personal.”
“Sorry. I tend to take being killed somewhat personally.”
“That aside, the Forest Folk are not to be...
“Forest Folk?” Tom and I asked simultaneously.
“Yes, the creatures you’ve upset with your...”
“Hold on there. I haven’t upset shit. Your kindly ‘Forest Folk’ were the ones who tried to put a kindly forest rock through my sternum.”
“Regardless of what happened, open warfare is simply not an option here.”
“Be that as it may,” I said, “you’re still not invited to...wherever the hell it is.”
“That’s not for you to say. My master has already reached out to your people in Boston.”
My eyes opened wide. Holy shit! Not only was this bitch hell bent on frying my ass, but now she was going over my head too. Talk about sticking it in and breaking it off.
“You talked with Boston?” She nodded in response. “The same Boston that’s aware of what you guys did while Gan was
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