nonsenseand once and for all, I wouldn’t do it. Enough was enough. What could Cunliffe do about it? I had the car and the logbook. If I sold it quickly and handed over the money he could have no legal claim on me.
Thinking thus, I ordered another double and with some excitement began to plot out my moves. First there was the business of getting hold of Jack’s man – or, for God’s sake, anyone who wanted to buy a car. There must be thousands of them. One way or another I could have a hundred and fifty quid plus within twenty-four hours. …
This escaped-convict-like scenting of the new landscape took me through the second whisky, and I was just beginning to perceive with a sinking heart that by working flat out I might be able to get back where I started, minus the car, minus my Little Swine prospects, probably minus Maura, when Jack came over.
‘Phyllis says she threw it away. He’ll probably be in again. I’ll keep an eye open.’
‘Thanks, Jack.’
‘Having your ups and downs like the rest of us?’
‘Like the rest of us,’ I said faintly. ‘I’ll have another of these.’
With the third whisky, I knew I was back where I started, but the prospect was not so cheerless as it might have been. Nodding dolorously to the whisky, I felt the presence of old friends here. Here was indecision and sloth and confusion. …
One thought seemed to be drawing clear of all the rest, it seemed to me after a while. Indecision argues an alternative. Somewhere in that blind country of the mind one of me had accepted Prague as an alternative.
3
I was waiting across the road with a splitting headache when Maura left the office at half past five. I waved limply and she came across, surprised.
‘What are you doing here? Is anything wrong?’
I had arranged to meet her at half past seven. Since three,when I had left the Princess May, I had been dozing on a seat in Lincoln’s Inn Fields wondering what the hell I ought to tell her. I seemed to spend half my life doing that. When five had struck, the prospect of waiting around for another couple of hours had become suddenly unbearable. My head was throbbing. If I went back home and crawled on the divan the chances were I wouldn’t get off it. I had taken myself queasily to wait opposite her office.
‘I got away early,’ I said, slipping automatically into the daily fantasy of life with the Little Swine. ‘I thought I might as well pick you up.’
She stared at me. ‘Have you been drinking, Nicolas?’
‘I had a couple.’
‘Spirits?’
‘Look, can we go and sit down somewhere?’ People were streaming home all round us. I felt ramshackle enough to topple over and over if one of them bumped into me.
She looked at me in a decidedly odd manner, but made no comment. We walked meditatively to a Lyons’ tea shop.
Over the tea she said quietly, ‘What’s up, Nicolas?’
I’d been beating my tired brain to find the words for this one. I said, ‘It’s damned awkward but something’s cropped up that might interfere with my – my plans.’
She didn’t say anything.
‘I might have to go away for a bit, Maura.’
‘How long for?’
‘I’m not sure.’
She looked at me without speaking for a long time. ‘I see,’ she said quietly. ‘We won’t be seeing so much of each other in the future – have I got the drift right?’
‘No, you haven’t.’ I took her hand over the table. ‘You haven’t got it right at all. I love you, Maura,’ I said, groaning inwardly and savagely cursing Cunliffe, Pavelka, the entire Czechoslovak Republic, and my two hours of fuddled gloom. ‘I love you and I meant to ask you to marry me, but now a lot’s happened unexpecredly. … I’m going to Prague,’ I said, listening to my own voice with a certain unearthly fascination, and knowingas I said the words that I must have made the decision hours before.
‘Prague?’ She stared at me and her mouth dropped open. ‘Did you know about this at the
Thinking thus, I ordered another double and with some excitement began to plot out my moves. First there was the business of getting hold of Jack’s man – or, for God’s sake, anyone who wanted to buy a car. There must be thousands of them. One way or another I could have a hundred and fifty quid plus within twenty-four hours. …
This escaped-convict-like scenting of the new landscape took me through the second whisky, and I was just beginning to perceive with a sinking heart that by working flat out I might be able to get back where I started, minus the car, minus my Little Swine prospects, probably minus Maura, when Jack came over.
‘Phyllis says she threw it away. He’ll probably be in again. I’ll keep an eye open.’
‘Thanks, Jack.’
‘Having your ups and downs like the rest of us?’
‘Like the rest of us,’ I said faintly. ‘I’ll have another of these.’
With the third whisky, I knew I was back where I started, but the prospect was not so cheerless as it might have been. Nodding dolorously to the whisky, I felt the presence of old friends here. Here was indecision and sloth and confusion. …
One thought seemed to be drawing clear of all the rest, it seemed to me after a while. Indecision argues an alternative. Somewhere in that blind country of the mind one of me had accepted Prague as an alternative.
3
I was waiting across the road with a splitting headache when Maura left the office at half past five. I waved limply and she came across, surprised.
‘What are you doing here? Is anything wrong?’
I had arranged to meet her at half past seven. Since three,when I had left the Princess May, I had been dozing on a seat in Lincoln’s Inn Fields wondering what the hell I ought to tell her. I seemed to spend half my life doing that. When five had struck, the prospect of waiting around for another couple of hours had become suddenly unbearable. My head was throbbing. If I went back home and crawled on the divan the chances were I wouldn’t get off it. I had taken myself queasily to wait opposite her office.
‘I got away early,’ I said, slipping automatically into the daily fantasy of life with the Little Swine. ‘I thought I might as well pick you up.’
She stared at me. ‘Have you been drinking, Nicolas?’
‘I had a couple.’
‘Spirits?’
‘Look, can we go and sit down somewhere?’ People were streaming home all round us. I felt ramshackle enough to topple over and over if one of them bumped into me.
She looked at me in a decidedly odd manner, but made no comment. We walked meditatively to a Lyons’ tea shop.
Over the tea she said quietly, ‘What’s up, Nicolas?’
I’d been beating my tired brain to find the words for this one. I said, ‘It’s damned awkward but something’s cropped up that might interfere with my – my plans.’
She didn’t say anything.
‘I might have to go away for a bit, Maura.’
‘How long for?’
‘I’m not sure.’
She looked at me without speaking for a long time. ‘I see,’ she said quietly. ‘We won’t be seeing so much of each other in the future – have I got the drift right?’
‘No, you haven’t.’ I took her hand over the table. ‘You haven’t got it right at all. I love you, Maura,’ I said, groaning inwardly and savagely cursing Cunliffe, Pavelka, the entire Czechoslovak Republic, and my two hours of fuddled gloom. ‘I love you and I meant to ask you to marry me, but now a lot’s happened unexpecredly. … I’m going to Prague,’ I said, listening to my own voice with a certain unearthly fascination, and knowingas I said the words that I must have made the decision hours before.
‘Prague?’ She stared at me and her mouth dropped open. ‘Did you know about this at the
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