The Onus of Ancestry by Arpita Mogford Page B

and pains altogether. Maheshwari, too, did not fuss, but tackled the first awkward spells through simple advice and instructions. Parna, on the other hand appeared inept and embarrassed and quite unable to cope.
    Dwita’s growing up brought new questions to her mind and gave new facets to old relationships. She now realised the possibility of Brojen Halder’s assuming a more positive and a permanent role in her life. Was Parna going to marry him? Her friend Amina’s father had died recently and her mother had remarried. But Amina was a Muslim, Dwita believed that Hindus were more conservative about remarriage, although Brahmos promulgated remarriage of widows – she had read it in her history book. They advocated resettlement of young widows into normal marital circumstances. Dwita felt sorry for her mother, whose life of hard work and small pleasures depressed her. She gave herself no other enjoyment but the duties of conscientious motherhood. Perhaps she could be happy if she married again. But Dwita had her doubts about Brojen Halder as her mother’s choice. Would Dima and her father approve of her mother’s remarriage or would they provide divine interference? She somehow felt that they would support her.
    Although Nirupama had chosen to remain a widow, had practised all the tenets of widowhood – wearing her widow’s white, eating out of black and white marble, observing fasts and total vegetarianism – she had never insisted on imposing them on her daughter. In fact she had persuaded her gradually to change from white
thans
to bordered white sarees and also into non-vegetarianism. Parna began to wear quiet patterns on white and followed no dietary restrictions. In fact she dressed carefully and expensively – her sarees were the best in cottons, silks or chiffons; her sandals, always elegant and high-heeled, bags made out of the softest of leather. She wore nothing in the form of jewellery except for a pair of pearl solitaires in her ears and a bangle on one of her wrists, the other sported a minute gold watch given to her by Monmotho. Her abundant hair was always coiled into a neat bun, poised precariously just above the nape of her neck. Dwita always liked to watch her mother fully turned out – she looked proud and elegant, soignée, and quite beautiful. If she ever decided to remarry, Dwita would not try to stop her, she felt she had no right to do so – but still she could never accept Brojen Halder as her new father, nor his numerous offspring as her brothers and sisters. Were there no other eligible men around?
    Parna obviously had her reasons for befriending Halder, but as it happened none of them had anything to do with matrimony. She was rather cornered by him – he had not only secured her a job in the Superior Publishing Company but had supported her professionally throughout the years, so that she was now a regional manager of the company. Could she be ungrateful and let him down?
    Little did Dwita know then that Parna was her own worst enemy – she erected an insuperable barrier between her and the rest of the world so that common human emotions always stagnated on the other side of the wall, which she could not reach easily. Years later Dwita discovered that love had many definitions, many interpretations to many people. Parna’s and her understanding of it were entirely different and diametrically opposite – there was some kind of an impasse between them.
    A feeling of possession was indispensable to Parna in all her relationships. She lost interest where she could not possess, she even discarded them without any pain if they did not suit her pattern of possession. She did this not with indecent haste, but with grace and a sense that it was right. Brojen Halder’s turn was beginning to draw near. Parna had seen his claws of possession, which she recognised were sharper than hers – the time was ripe to lose him, but it had to be