Wouldn’t have asked, only kiddies yelling, general hoo-ha. Feel bad about it. Third time it’s happened.’
‘Not to worry, Jimmy.’
‘Your dustbins all right, are they?’ said Mark.
Jimmy looked at him in astonishment.
‘Think so, yes. Bit bashed about. Dustmen don’t take much care,’ he said.
There was a ring at the bell. Reggie went to the door. It was Linda and Tom, accompanied by Adam and Jocasta.
‘Hullo,’ he said. ‘Come on in.’
‘You don’t look very pleased to see us,’ said Linda.
‘Nonsense. I’m delighted.’
‘Our little man brought the car back, so we thought we’d pop round to – you know – see if you’re all right,’ said Tom.
‘I’m fine. Why shouldn’t I be?’
‘No reason. None at all.’
‘Come in, all of you. Jimmy’s here, and Mark.’
‘Oh. Only we rang Worthing, and heard you were alone,’ said Linda.
‘I was. I’m not now,’ said Reggie.
He escorted them into the living room. There was much standing up and sitting down. Mark said, ‘Hullo, droopydrawers,’ to Linda, and Tom frowned, and when Tom frowned Mark smiled, and when Mark smiled Linda gave him a look, and when Tom saw her giving him a look he gave Linda a look.
‘Yes, we thought we’d pop along and make sure you weren’t depressed or anything,’ said Linda.
‘Pressed or anyfing,’ said Adam.
‘Preffed or fing,’ said Jocasta.
‘No, I’m not depressed or anything,’ said Reggie. ‘What would you all like to drink? Tea? Whisky? Sherry?’
‘Tea time,’ said Jimmy. ‘Usually drink tea this time. Whisky for me, please.’
Tom drank sherry, Linda gin. Mark stuck to whisky, Adam and Jocasta spilt orange juice.
‘I did poopy-plops in my panties,’ reminisced Adam.
‘Would you two like to go and play in the garden?’ said Reggie.
‘Do you mind if Tom and I pop up to my old room for a moment?’ said Linda.
‘What on earth for?’ said Reggie.
‘We’ve been having an argument. Tom says the spire of St Peter’s Church is visible from it. I’m sure it isn’t.’
‘No, you can’t go upstairs,’ said Reggie hastily. ‘We’re bringing out some new products and I’m working on them up there and it’s all a bit hush-hush.’
Linda looked at him in astonishment.
‘What do you think we are? Industrial spies?’ she said.
‘Of course not. It’s the rules, that’s all. I’ll just go and move them. Won’t be long.’
He hurried upstairs. Joan had hidden herself completely under the bedclothes.
‘It’s all right,’ he whispered. ‘It’s me.’
Her face emerged cautiously.
‘Linda’s turned up now – and she wants to come in here,’ he whispered.
‘It’s like Piccadilly Circus in this house,’ she said.
‘Sorry. It’s one of those days. There’s six of them down there. I honestly think you’d better go.’
‘Oh God.’
‘I know, but it’s not my fault. Have you got enough for a taxi?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’ll reimburse you later. Slip out as soon as you’re dressed. I’ll keep everyone in the living room.’
‘I feel like a criminal.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘You seem nervous, father,’ said Linda, on his return.
‘What, me? Am I? Perhaps it’s the heat,’ said Reggie.
‘Awkward customer, the heat,’ said Jimmy. ‘Known sane men go mad in the tropics because of the heat. Makes you think.’
Reggie saw Linda frown at Jimmy. Something in the attitude of Mark and Jimmy made it clear to him that Tom and Linda had told them about his episode with the lions.
‘Well,’ he said. ‘I see you’ve told them about my little episode with the lions.’
‘Tricky blighters, lions,’ said Jimmy.
‘I thought you’d got more garden,’ said Mark.
‘Garden?’
‘Garden fence. Sense.’
‘That isn’t an authentic example of cockney slang, is it?’ said Tom.
‘Oh. She’s sharp today, isn’t she?’ said Mark. ‘She’s been sleeping in the knife box.’
‘I did biggies in my panties,’ said Adam, coming in
‘Not to worry, Jimmy.’
‘Your dustbins all right, are they?’ said Mark.
Jimmy looked at him in astonishment.
‘Think so, yes. Bit bashed about. Dustmen don’t take much care,’ he said.
There was a ring at the bell. Reggie went to the door. It was Linda and Tom, accompanied by Adam and Jocasta.
‘Hullo,’ he said. ‘Come on in.’
‘You don’t look very pleased to see us,’ said Linda.
‘Nonsense. I’m delighted.’
‘Our little man brought the car back, so we thought we’d pop round to – you know – see if you’re all right,’ said Tom.
‘I’m fine. Why shouldn’t I be?’
‘No reason. None at all.’
‘Come in, all of you. Jimmy’s here, and Mark.’
‘Oh. Only we rang Worthing, and heard you were alone,’ said Linda.
‘I was. I’m not now,’ said Reggie.
He escorted them into the living room. There was much standing up and sitting down. Mark said, ‘Hullo, droopydrawers,’ to Linda, and Tom frowned, and when Tom frowned Mark smiled, and when Mark smiled Linda gave him a look, and when Tom saw her giving him a look he gave Linda a look.
‘Yes, we thought we’d pop along and make sure you weren’t depressed or anything,’ said Linda.
‘Pressed or anyfing,’ said Adam.
‘Preffed or fing,’ said Jocasta.
‘No, I’m not depressed or anything,’ said Reggie. ‘What would you all like to drink? Tea? Whisky? Sherry?’
‘Tea time,’ said Jimmy. ‘Usually drink tea this time. Whisky for me, please.’
Tom drank sherry, Linda gin. Mark stuck to whisky, Adam and Jocasta spilt orange juice.
‘I did poopy-plops in my panties,’ reminisced Adam.
‘Would you two like to go and play in the garden?’ said Reggie.
‘Do you mind if Tom and I pop up to my old room for a moment?’ said Linda.
‘What on earth for?’ said Reggie.
‘We’ve been having an argument. Tom says the spire of St Peter’s Church is visible from it. I’m sure it isn’t.’
‘No, you can’t go upstairs,’ said Reggie hastily. ‘We’re bringing out some new products and I’m working on them up there and it’s all a bit hush-hush.’
Linda looked at him in astonishment.
‘What do you think we are? Industrial spies?’ she said.
‘Of course not. It’s the rules, that’s all. I’ll just go and move them. Won’t be long.’
He hurried upstairs. Joan had hidden herself completely under the bedclothes.
‘It’s all right,’ he whispered. ‘It’s me.’
Her face emerged cautiously.
‘Linda’s turned up now – and she wants to come in here,’ he whispered.
‘It’s like Piccadilly Circus in this house,’ she said.
‘Sorry. It’s one of those days. There’s six of them down there. I honestly think you’d better go.’
‘Oh God.’
‘I know, but it’s not my fault. Have you got enough for a taxi?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’ll reimburse you later. Slip out as soon as you’re dressed. I’ll keep everyone in the living room.’
‘I feel like a criminal.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘You seem nervous, father,’ said Linda, on his return.
‘What, me? Am I? Perhaps it’s the heat,’ said Reggie.
‘Awkward customer, the heat,’ said Jimmy. ‘Known sane men go mad in the tropics because of the heat. Makes you think.’
Reggie saw Linda frown at Jimmy. Something in the attitude of Mark and Jimmy made it clear to him that Tom and Linda had told them about his episode with the lions.
‘Well,’ he said. ‘I see you’ve told them about my little episode with the lions.’
‘Tricky blighters, lions,’ said Jimmy.
‘I thought you’d got more garden,’ said Mark.
‘Garden?’
‘Garden fence. Sense.’
‘That isn’t an authentic example of cockney slang, is it?’ said Tom.
‘Oh. She’s sharp today, isn’t she?’ said Mark. ‘She’s been sleeping in the knife box.’
‘I did biggies in my panties,’ said Adam, coming in
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