he still hasn’t forgiven me.” Cora sighed as she slipped off her shoes and stockings. “Maybe he never will.”
“I’m sure he’s forgiven you, but forgiving and forgetting are two different things.” Leah poured massage lotion into her hands and rubbed it into the sole of Cora’s left foot. “I’ve been hoping and praying Adam would at least let you see the girls, but he’s not ready to allow it yet.”
“Will he ever be?”
Leah shrugged. “I don’t know, but it’s best we don’t push the idea right now or it might drive him further away.”
“Has Adam even told the girls about me?”
Leah shook her head. “He asked me not to say anything to them, either. Does it hurt here?” She probed Cora’s foot, hoping to change the subject. Cora and Adam’s relationship was complicated, and she didn’t like being caught in the middle of it.
“Yes, there’s a sore spot there, but it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as knowing my own granddaughters might never know me.”
“It must be painful for you, but Adam’s endured a lot of pain, too.”
Cora looked down. “If I could erase the past, I surely would. I’d go back and redo everything. How could I have been so selfishly stupid?”
Leah said nothing, just continued to massage the sore spot on Cora’s foot.
“I haven’t told Jared about Adam, either. He knows nothing about my past,” Cora gripped the armrests. “To Jared, I’ve been English all my life, and the only man I’ve ever been married to is his dad.”
Leah stopped pressure-pointing and looked at Cora. “Is it wise to withhold the information from Jared? What if he hears from someone else about you once being Amish and having two children by a previous marriage?”
Cora winced. “I know I need to tell Jared about Adam and Mary and about me being Amish, but I’m so afraid of how he will take it—especially now when things are going better between us.” Cora leaned slightly forward. “If Adam would let me back in his life, it might make things easier. At least I’d feel like I had his support.”
“It could happen someday, but you can’t depend on it.” Leah started rubbing Cora’s foot again.
“Does Adam know about Jared? Have you told him he has a half brother?”
“No. It’s not my place to mention something so personal.”
Cora pursed her lips. “You’re right, but I think Adam needs to know about Jared.”
“Then you should tell him.”
Cora grimaced. “I can’t simply waltz into his store and announce such a thing.” Tears pooled in her blue eyes. “I’m such a coward. My mother’s heart hurts more than you can ever imagine—if you can call me a mother, that is.”
Leah patted Cora’s hand, wishing she could bring this all to a head. If Adam and his mother would resolve their differences, the girls could have a relationship with their grandma. “None of us can change the past, but you’re on the right path, Cora. And you’re not a coward. Just pray about it. Pray God makes a way for you to tell Adam about Jared and Jared about Adam.”
Cora sniffed. “Danki, Leah. You’re such a good friend. I’m glad my son married you.”
“Oh no, Elam’s here,” Priscilla groaned as she looked out the kitchen window and spotted Elam’s horse and buggy coming up the driveway.
Mom joined her at the window. “I can’t believe you’re not happy to see Elam.”
“I am happy to see him, just not this way.”
Mom tipped her head. “What do you mean, ‘not this way’?”
Priscilla looked down at her soiled apron. “Look at me, Mom. We’ve been cleaning all morning. I look a mess.”
“I’m sure Elam won’t care how you look. He’s in love with you.”
Priscilla’s forehead wrinkled. “I’m not so sure. If he really loves me, wouldn’t he have proposed marriage by now?”
Mom slipped her arm around Priscilla’s waist. “Maybe he’s waiting until the time is right.”
“Right for what, Mom?” Tears sprang to Priscilla’s eyes.
“I’m sure he’s forgiven you, but forgiving and forgetting are two different things.” Leah poured massage lotion into her hands and rubbed it into the sole of Cora’s left foot. “I’ve been hoping and praying Adam would at least let you see the girls, but he’s not ready to allow it yet.”
“Will he ever be?”
Leah shrugged. “I don’t know, but it’s best we don’t push the idea right now or it might drive him further away.”
“Has Adam even told the girls about me?”
Leah shook her head. “He asked me not to say anything to them, either. Does it hurt here?” She probed Cora’s foot, hoping to change the subject. Cora and Adam’s relationship was complicated, and she didn’t like being caught in the middle of it.
“Yes, there’s a sore spot there, but it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as knowing my own granddaughters might never know me.”
“It must be painful for you, but Adam’s endured a lot of pain, too.”
Cora looked down. “If I could erase the past, I surely would. I’d go back and redo everything. How could I have been so selfishly stupid?”
Leah said nothing, just continued to massage the sore spot on Cora’s foot.
“I haven’t told Jared about Adam, either. He knows nothing about my past,” Cora gripped the armrests. “To Jared, I’ve been English all my life, and the only man I’ve ever been married to is his dad.”
Leah stopped pressure-pointing and looked at Cora. “Is it wise to withhold the information from Jared? What if he hears from someone else about you once being Amish and having two children by a previous marriage?”
Cora winced. “I know I need to tell Jared about Adam and Mary and about me being Amish, but I’m so afraid of how he will take it—especially now when things are going better between us.” Cora leaned slightly forward. “If Adam would let me back in his life, it might make things easier. At least I’d feel like I had his support.”
“It could happen someday, but you can’t depend on it.” Leah started rubbing Cora’s foot again.
“Does Adam know about Jared? Have you told him he has a half brother?”
“No. It’s not my place to mention something so personal.”
Cora pursed her lips. “You’re right, but I think Adam needs to know about Jared.”
“Then you should tell him.”
Cora grimaced. “I can’t simply waltz into his store and announce such a thing.” Tears pooled in her blue eyes. “I’m such a coward. My mother’s heart hurts more than you can ever imagine—if you can call me a mother, that is.”
Leah patted Cora’s hand, wishing she could bring this all to a head. If Adam and his mother would resolve their differences, the girls could have a relationship with their grandma. “None of us can change the past, but you’re on the right path, Cora. And you’re not a coward. Just pray about it. Pray God makes a way for you to tell Adam about Jared and Jared about Adam.”
Cora sniffed. “Danki, Leah. You’re such a good friend. I’m glad my son married you.”
“Oh no, Elam’s here,” Priscilla groaned as she looked out the kitchen window and spotted Elam’s horse and buggy coming up the driveway.
Mom joined her at the window. “I can’t believe you’re not happy to see Elam.”
“I am happy to see him, just not this way.”
Mom tipped her head. “What do you mean, ‘not this way’?”
Priscilla looked down at her soiled apron. “Look at me, Mom. We’ve been cleaning all morning. I look a mess.”
“I’m sure Elam won’t care how you look. He’s in love with you.”
Priscilla’s forehead wrinkled. “I’m not so sure. If he really loves me, wouldn’t he have proposed marriage by now?”
Mom slipped her arm around Priscilla’s waist. “Maybe he’s waiting until the time is right.”
“Right for what, Mom?” Tears sprang to Priscilla’s eyes.
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