The Revolutionaries Try Again by Mauro Javier Cardenas Page A
Authors: Mauro Javier Cardenas
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expecting an audacious plan from him. Which Leopoldo actually has.Sort of. He pockets his handkerchief. Calligraphy and embroidery are probably not related at all.
Mister President, are you reconsidering your partyâs position of not nominating a presidential candidate for the upcoming elections? Mister President, are you ever going to run for president again? Mister President, are you ever going to buy furniture for this building?
I wonât buy anything for this building, Leopoldo hears León say, indignant as ever, narrowing his eyes, or at least one of them, and like a priest denouncing the stench of sin he points at the vacant corners of the room, as if the corners had anything to do with it, as if once upon a time León flunked geometry just like his grandson flunked everything but flute lessons, although of course Leopoldo knows that León never flunked anything and that this pointing is just Leónâs theatrical way of enumerating the missing clerk desks, reception desks, oak chairs, tin chairs, white paper, brown paper, air fresheners, copy machines, washing machines, phone lines, phone cords, everything that was carried away by the friends and family of El Loco. Except the rolltop. Thatâd been too heavy to haul. Everyone had seen the looted palace on television. And yet to most people the images of the sacked rooms had not seemed surreal or incredibly despairing but funny. Everyoneâs saying that they found nothing but a pig chomping on the wallpaper, Don Leopoldo. That the pigâs tiny ears made her nose look unnecessarily big. And on top of that she smelled like garbage. Oh but Elsa the Pig did not care. She munched on the municipal wallpaper and did not care. Thatâs how the idea of summoning El Locoâs people occurred to Leopoldo. People werenât outraged, heâd told León. Everyone thinks itâs funny. Extra, niño Leo, read it here first: Leónâs Right Hand Man Pockets Pensions and Roars to Miami. Check it out, Microphone Head, Fraud Forces Francisco Swett to Jet to Florida. Extra, Don Leopoldo, Jeffrey the Hutt Escapes Prison Order and Flees to Miami. Jeffrey Torbay did look like Jabba the Hutt, which made his embezzlement during Leónâs presidency even more sinister. Everyoneâs saying that Jeffrey the Hutt opened a nightclub in Miami Beach, Don Leopoldo. That theyâre calling it Ecuador Bar & Beer. Although more likely it was called The Palace or The Cathedral or TheMansion and its doors were probably flanked with pit guards spurnful of dark Mexicans and blacks. The other thing Leopoldo didnât tell León is that everyone still remembers El Loco lashing a stockwhip out the window of the municipal palace, promising to flog oligarchs like León during El Locoâs tenure as police chief.
I wonât buy anything for this building until the people realize the extent of that manâs corruption, Leopoldo hears León say. That swindler shouldnât be allowed to return. Accomplished and honest professionals are what our country needs.
Is León showcasing Leopoldo as an example of an accomplished and honest professional? The reporters seem to be wondering the same thing because theyâre turning to appraise Leopoldo. Do they remember what Leopoldo has accomplished for the city? Do they remember that El Loco and his cohorts had also emptied the cityâs coffers and that thatâs the other reason León canât buy anything for this building? Or that León had shut down the empty palace and jumpstarted a tax collection campaign to replenish the coffers but what he collected he had to immediately disburse to avert an epidemic because the sewers had clogged somewhere and black water was inundating the streets and the rainy season hadnât even started and on the way to work people were seeing rats splashing for life? Leopoldo approaches the window on the other side of the room to check on El Locoâs
Mister President, are you reconsidering your partyâs position of not nominating a presidential candidate for the upcoming elections? Mister President, are you ever going to run for president again? Mister President, are you ever going to buy furniture for this building?
I wonât buy anything for this building, Leopoldo hears León say, indignant as ever, narrowing his eyes, or at least one of them, and like a priest denouncing the stench of sin he points at the vacant corners of the room, as if the corners had anything to do with it, as if once upon a time León flunked geometry just like his grandson flunked everything but flute lessons, although of course Leopoldo knows that León never flunked anything and that this pointing is just Leónâs theatrical way of enumerating the missing clerk desks, reception desks, oak chairs, tin chairs, white paper, brown paper, air fresheners, copy machines, washing machines, phone lines, phone cords, everything that was carried away by the friends and family of El Loco. Except the rolltop. Thatâd been too heavy to haul. Everyone had seen the looted palace on television. And yet to most people the images of the sacked rooms had not seemed surreal or incredibly despairing but funny. Everyoneâs saying that they found nothing but a pig chomping on the wallpaper, Don Leopoldo. That the pigâs tiny ears made her nose look unnecessarily big. And on top of that she smelled like garbage. Oh but Elsa the Pig did not care. She munched on the municipal wallpaper and did not care. Thatâs how the idea of summoning El Locoâs people occurred to Leopoldo. People werenât outraged, heâd told León. Everyone thinks itâs funny. Extra, niño Leo, read it here first: Leónâs Right Hand Man Pockets Pensions and Roars to Miami. Check it out, Microphone Head, Fraud Forces Francisco Swett to Jet to Florida. Extra, Don Leopoldo, Jeffrey the Hutt Escapes Prison Order and Flees to Miami. Jeffrey Torbay did look like Jabba the Hutt, which made his embezzlement during Leónâs presidency even more sinister. Everyoneâs saying that Jeffrey the Hutt opened a nightclub in Miami Beach, Don Leopoldo. That theyâre calling it Ecuador Bar & Beer. Although more likely it was called The Palace or The Cathedral or TheMansion and its doors were probably flanked with pit guards spurnful of dark Mexicans and blacks. The other thing Leopoldo didnât tell León is that everyone still remembers El Loco lashing a stockwhip out the window of the municipal palace, promising to flog oligarchs like León during El Locoâs tenure as police chief.
I wonât buy anything for this building until the people realize the extent of that manâs corruption, Leopoldo hears León say. That swindler shouldnât be allowed to return. Accomplished and honest professionals are what our country needs.
Is León showcasing Leopoldo as an example of an accomplished and honest professional? The reporters seem to be wondering the same thing because theyâre turning to appraise Leopoldo. Do they remember what Leopoldo has accomplished for the city? Do they remember that El Loco and his cohorts had also emptied the cityâs coffers and that thatâs the other reason León canât buy anything for this building? Or that León had shut down the empty palace and jumpstarted a tax collection campaign to replenish the coffers but what he collected he had to immediately disburse to avert an epidemic because the sewers had clogged somewhere and black water was inundating the streets and the rainy season hadnât even started and on the way to work people were seeing rats splashing for life? Leopoldo approaches the window on the other side of the room to check on El Locoâs
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