The Rocky Road to Romance by Janet Evanovich Page A

of you. Yessir, I could blow a hole in you the size of a potato with this baby.”
    â€œHoly cow!” Steve pushed Daisy behind a car. “Where’d you get that bazooka? And what are you doing carrying it around in your pocketbook?”
    Elsie put the gun back in her purse andclosed it with a firm snap. “Got it at a yard sale in the District,” Elsie said. “A woman’s got to protect herself. I’m an old lady, you know. It isn’t like I could give some pervert a karate chop.”
    â€œIt isn’t loaded, is it?”
    â€œOf course it’s loaded, but you don’t have to worry. I know what I’m doing. You sure are a jumpy one,” she said to Steve.
    â€œYou have a license to carry a concealed weapon?”
    â€œPeople keep asking me that. One of these days I’m going to have to look into it,” Elsie said.
    Steve loosened his tie and popped the top button on his shirt. “I need a drink. Something cold that’s going to make me numb.”
    â€œDrinking rots your liver,” Elsie told him. “And an ounce of alcohol kills a thousand brain cells.”
    Steve thought it was pretty clear Elsie didn’t think he could afford to lose that many brain cells.
    â€œI gotta roll,” Elsie said. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” She climbed into a blue-and-white vintageCadillac and rumbled away with a V-8 engine and dual exhaust system that sounded like distant thunder.
    â€œI’ll follow you home,” Steve said to Daisy. “How about discussing this over dinner.”
    â€œSounds great, but I have to work at the nursing home tonight.” She looked at her watch. “I better get going, or I’ll be late.”
    â€œHow about after work? A late dinner?”
    She chewed on her lower lip. It was tempting, but she was behind on her dissertation schedule. “Can’t. I have a ton of reading to do for school.”
    His life wasn’t going well, Steve decided. Everything used to be so smooth. Women never said no, old ladies used to think he was bright, people he employed followed instructions. At least he had a dog. The thought lifted his spirits. He’d go home, take Bob out for a burger, and then they’d go run a couple fast miles together. Afterward they could watch television and maybe put a frozen pie in the oven for dessert. Pretty damn domestic, he thought to himself. He’d turned into a regular family man. An SUV, a dog, and a frozen pie.Life didn’t get much better than that. Not tonight anyway.
    When Steve got home there were seven notes tacked to his condo door about Bob’s howling and an eviction notice from the superintendent stating he’d violated the no-pet rule of the condo building. When Steve opened the door, Bob rushed out to the elevator. Steve pushed the emergency express button, but they only made it to the second floor before Bob humiliated himself. They continued on down to the basement parking garage, where they quickly exited the elevator. Steve pushed the elevator button for the penthouse, then he and Bob went out in search of a Realtor.
    â€œDon’t worry about it,” Steve said to Bob. “It wasn’t your fault. You did the best you could. I guess a dog doesn’t belong in a condo.” Bob looked depressed, so Steve patted his head. “We’re going to buy you a nice house. One with a big fenced-in yard.” A house that was closer to Daisy, Steve thought. A house that had enough room for a few dozen kids—just in case. Omigod. Did I just have a thought about kids? Where’d that come from?
    â€œDo you like kids?” he asked Bob.
    Bob woofed and wagged his tail.
    Two hours later Steve and Bob had a house to live in. The owners had already moved out, so Steve and Bob could rent the house until closing. It was amazing what you could do when you were willing to pay top dollar and didn’t need financing, Steve thought grimly.