The Science of Discworld Revised Edition by Terry Pratchett Page A

up.’
    There was a moment’s silence. That is, the wizards were silent. Overhead, magic flared into the sky with a sound like roaring gas.
    ‘Can’t let it build up here,’ Ridcully went on. ‘What’s the Roundworld project then?’
    ‘It was, er … there was once some suggestion that it might be possible to create a … an area where the laws of magic don’t apply,’ said Ponder. ‘We could use it to learn more about magic.’
    ‘Magic’s
everywhere
,’ said Ridcully. ‘It’s part of what everywhere
is
.’
    ‘Yes, sir,’ said Ponder, watching the Archchancellor carefully.
    The ceiling creaked.
    ‘What use would it be, anyway?’ said Ridcully, still thinking aloud.
    ‘Well, sir, you could ask what use is a new-born child …’
    ‘No, that’s not the sort of question I ask,’ said Ridcully. ‘And it’s a highly suspicious one, too.’
    The wizards ducked as the latest discharge crackled overhead. It was followed by a louder explosion.
    ‘I think the balls have just exploded, sir,’ said Ponder.
    ‘All right, then, how long would the project take to set up?’ said Ridcully.
    ‘Months,’ said the Dean firmly.
    ‘We’ve got about ten seconds to the next discharge, sir,’ said Ponder. ‘Only … now the balls have gone it will simply earth itself …’
    ‘Ah. Oh. Really? Well, then …’ Ridcully looked around at his fellow wizards as the wall began to shake again. ‘It’s been nice knowing you. Some of you. One or two of you, anyway …’
    The whine of increasing magic rose in pitch.
    The Dean cleared his throat.
    ‘I’d just like to say, Mustrum,’ he began.
    ‘Yes, old friend?’
    ‘I’d just like to say … I think I’d have made a much better Archchancellor than you.’
    The whine stopped. The silence twanged. The wizards held their breath.
    Something went ‘ping’.
    A globe about a foot across hung in the air between the faculty. It looked like glass, or the sheen of a pearl without the pearl itself.
    From the squash court next door there was, instead of the wild roar of disorganized thaums, the steady thrum-thrum of purpose.
    ‘What the heck is
that
?’ said Ridcully, as the wizards unfolded themselves.
    H EX rattled. Ponder picked up the piece of paper.
    ‘Well, according to this, it’s the Roundworld Project,’ he said. ‘And it’s absorbing all the energy from the thaumic pile.’
    The Dean brushed some dust off his robe.
    ‘Nonsense,’ he said. ‘Takes months. Anyway, how could that machine possibly know the spells?’
    ‘Mr Turnipseed did copy in a lot of the grimoires last year,’ said Ponder. ‘It’s vital that H EX knows basic spell structure, you see …’
    The Senior Wrangler peered irritably at the sphere.
    ‘Is this all it is?’ he said. ‘Doesn’t seem much for all that effort.’
    There was a frightening moment as the Dean walked up to the sphere and his nose, enormously magnified, appeared in it.
    ‘Old Archchancellor Bewdley devised it,’ he said. ‘Everyone said it was impossible …’
    ‘Mr Stibbons?’ said Ridcully.
    ‘Yes, sir?’
    ‘Are we in danger of blowing up at the moment?’
    ‘I don’t think so, sir. The … project is sucking up everything.’
    ‘Shouldn’t it be glowing, then? Or something? What’s in there?’
    H EX wrote: +++ Nothing +++
    ‘All that magic’s going into empty space?’
    +++ Empty Space Is Not Nothing, Archchancellor. There Is Not Even Empty Space Inside The Project. There Is No Time For It To Be Empty In +++
    ‘What’s it got in it, then?’
    +++ I Am Checking +++, H EX wrote patiently.
    ‘Look, I can stick my hand right in it,’ said the Dean.
    The wizards watched in horror. The Dean’s fingers were visible, darkly , within the sphere, outlined in thousands of tiny sparkling lights.
    ‘That was a really very foolish thing you just did,’ said Ridcully. ‘How did you know it wasn’t dangerous?’
    ‘I didn’t,’ said the Dean cheerfully. ‘It feels … cool. And rather chilly.