The Secret of the Shadow by Debbie Ford Page A

indigestion. Until you digest all the unconscious thoughts and feelings that live within your psyche, you will continue to live in the noise and discomfort of your Shadow Box. Stop for a moment and listen to the thoughts in your mind. Now allow your attention to drift onto a project that isn’t getting done or a relationship that is not working out. Now listen again. By this time you should be clear about what your Shadow Box is.
    Our Shadow Boxes live inside our stories and go with us wherever we go. They constantly whisper to us all our flaws, all our disappointments, and all our inadequacies. Our Shadow Boxes let us know what we really think about ourselves while we are inside our stories. While our intuition tries desperately to get our attention, more often than not we turn away, pledging our allegiance to our Shadow Box, that familiar voice that loves to remind us of our failures, our inadequacies, and our self-imposed limitations.
    A couple of years ago I gave a lecture to one hundred people in the ballroom of a large hotel. When we began, everyone was com-54
    e x p l o r i n g t h e g r e at a n d m y s t e r i o u s s t o r y o f y o u fortably spread out around the room. Then suddenly the fire alarm went off. A loud voice came over the loudspeaker, and a repeating taped message began: “This is the fire marshal. The fire alarm has been engaged. Please go to the exit door closest to you.
    You must exit immediately. This recording will not be turned off until you leave the building.” Since this was the third time the alarm had gone off that day, no one in the room was too concerned.
    The ballroom was on the ground floor, and we were sure we would be able to flee if in fact there was a fire.
    At that point we had only forty-five minutes left together, and we decided to gather closely on one side of the room so we could hear each other speak and so I could finish my lecture. As the fire marshal’s message repeated itself over and over, I had to raise my voice so everyone could hear me. Even though they were more interested in what I was saying than in what the recorded message was repeating, they couldn’t help but be distracted. Then the thought occurred to me that this recording was a splendid example of our torturous internal dialogues. I asked the group, “How many of you would choose to listen to this tape all day long for the rest of your lives? How many of you would buy a little box that repeated this recording and listen to it while you work, while you’re out on dates, or when you’re watching a movie? Would any of you delib-erately buy a box like this and carry it with you wherever you go, clutching onto it for dear life?” Of course, they all said no.
    I stayed quiet for a few minutes so my audience could once again listen to the tape recording repeat its all-important message.
    Then, looking deeply into their eyes, I asked, “How many of you spend more than an hour a day listening to the internal chatter that 55
    T h e S e c r e t o f t h e S h a d o w goes on and on inside your head?” Everyone sat quiet, getting a glimmer of what I was talking about. Everyone could see that every day they wasted a large part of their precious energy listening to the repetitive tape that plays over and over inside their minds, saying things like, “That wasn’t very good. That wasn’t very smart. You shouldn’t have said that. What is she talking about? Why don’t they just turn off that recording now?” Or it might be babbling on with, “I didn’t pay all this money to come to a lecture and listen to this alarm all day. I wish she’d just get to the point.” Or maybe you wake up next to your husband and in your mind you hear, “Why doesn’t he brush his teeth before he has his coffee? If he would just earn more money I wouldn’t have to work so hard.” Maybe your Shadow Box spits out things like, “No one cares what I think. I’m so alone, no one wants to be my friend.” Or maybe you didn’t