too casual gave the wrong impression with him. Ever since that candlelight comment in group, which he hadn’t been back in since the fall out, she’d been thinking that.
“Hi there stranger, come in,” she greeted as pleasantly as she could. She didn’t want to overdo it, but wanted him to know there were no hard feelings on her side.
“Hey.” He walked in, looking pensive but at least not angry.
“Would you like to have coffee before our session?”
“No thank you. I have a date after, so, if you don’t mind, can we start now?”
“Yes, of course.” Sarah masked the pain of his words, scolding herself for even having it. On the balcony, Sarah got her pad this time, planning to take notes, remind him what she was to him. And her.
“So tell me, how have you been?”
“Fine.”
Strike one with that cool tone.
“Good, very good.” She sighed. “Listen, I need to explain something.”
“Please don’t. I get that you need to keep you and I professional. And I’m fine with that. Honestly. I just don’t like hypocrisy and what you did in group skirted close to that.”
Sarah refused to argue. “Okay. I do apologize that I hurt you, I didn’t mean to.”
“I’m not a child , don’t speak to me like one.”
“I know, of course.” She tapped her pen on the tablet , then brightened. “So! You have a date that’s fantastic. Anybody I know?”
He looked out into the night. “ I think so.”
“Oh?” Sarah’s heart raced.
“Lisa? She works at the hospital with you. She came by to check on me. We hung out, had sex.”
Pain sledge hammered Sarah in the chest. “Okay.” She cleared the sudden lump from her throat, trying not to think that he’d had his first time with that slut. “I hope you didn’t rush into it.”
“Well it was rather fast. She came in, I practically ripped her clothes off, and I fucked her against the living room door.”
Sarah stared at him. She knew she’d lost her composure and she fought to get it back. Then it hit her. “That seems pretty racy for a virgin.”
“I’m pretty sure she wasn’t a virgin,” he said dryly.
“I meant you , Micah.”
He narrowed his gaze with a half grin. “I’m certainly not a virgin.”
“You lied to me?”
“No, not that I recall.”
“You asked me if it was bad that somebody your age w as a virgin.”
“Yes, and? ”
“And…” Sarah shut up, realizing he was right, he hadn’t come out and said that. “Why in the world would you ask me something like that?”
“Because I wanted to know how you felt about yourself.”
She froze and stared at him, fighting for control of her emotions. The pen tapped rapidly. “How did you know that? Did Lisa tell you?”
“She may have.”
Sarah gasped, unable to contain her pain any longer. “I see. Then go on, you fucked Lisa against your living room door. How did you feel after?”
“Empty, how else?”
“Is that how you want to feel after sex?”
“Yes.”
Sarah shook her head a little, trembling, reminding herself that she was a doctor, digging through a festering wound. “You don’t think there should be feelings when you make love?”
“Yes, I do. But you said fuck, not make love. I fucked Lisa, I didn’t make love to her.”
“Why would you do that? Allow her to use you?”
He smiled a little. “How do you know I didn’t use her?”
“Because…”
“Because you know she’s a slut.”
“Yes.”
“And you thought…I wasn’t?”
Sarah cleared her throat and retraced the doodle she’d begun at the top of her page. “Something like that.”
“Sorry to disappoint you sweet heart. I’m no virgin. And I’m no saint.”
“I’m not disappointed, Micah. You are who you are. That doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
“And how do you feel about me, doc?”
“I care for you. Want what’s best for you. Want to see you happy.”
“At what cost to you?”
“I am not in this equation. My feelings don’t
“Hi there stranger, come in,” she greeted as pleasantly as she could. She didn’t want to overdo it, but wanted him to know there were no hard feelings on her side.
“Hey.” He walked in, looking pensive but at least not angry.
“Would you like to have coffee before our session?”
“No thank you. I have a date after, so, if you don’t mind, can we start now?”
“Yes, of course.” Sarah masked the pain of his words, scolding herself for even having it. On the balcony, Sarah got her pad this time, planning to take notes, remind him what she was to him. And her.
“So tell me, how have you been?”
“Fine.”
Strike one with that cool tone.
“Good, very good.” She sighed. “Listen, I need to explain something.”
“Please don’t. I get that you need to keep you and I professional. And I’m fine with that. Honestly. I just don’t like hypocrisy and what you did in group skirted close to that.”
Sarah refused to argue. “Okay. I do apologize that I hurt you, I didn’t mean to.”
“I’m not a child , don’t speak to me like one.”
“I know, of course.” She tapped her pen on the tablet , then brightened. “So! You have a date that’s fantastic. Anybody I know?”
He looked out into the night. “ I think so.”
“Oh?” Sarah’s heart raced.
“Lisa? She works at the hospital with you. She came by to check on me. We hung out, had sex.”
Pain sledge hammered Sarah in the chest. “Okay.” She cleared the sudden lump from her throat, trying not to think that he’d had his first time with that slut. “I hope you didn’t rush into it.”
“Well it was rather fast. She came in, I practically ripped her clothes off, and I fucked her against the living room door.”
Sarah stared at him. She knew she’d lost her composure and she fought to get it back. Then it hit her. “That seems pretty racy for a virgin.”
“I’m pretty sure she wasn’t a virgin,” he said dryly.
“I meant you , Micah.”
He narrowed his gaze with a half grin. “I’m certainly not a virgin.”
“You lied to me?”
“No, not that I recall.”
“You asked me if it was bad that somebody your age w as a virgin.”
“Yes, and? ”
“And…” Sarah shut up, realizing he was right, he hadn’t come out and said that. “Why in the world would you ask me something like that?”
“Because I wanted to know how you felt about yourself.”
She froze and stared at him, fighting for control of her emotions. The pen tapped rapidly. “How did you know that? Did Lisa tell you?”
“She may have.”
Sarah gasped, unable to contain her pain any longer. “I see. Then go on, you fucked Lisa against your living room door. How did you feel after?”
“Empty, how else?”
“Is that how you want to feel after sex?”
“Yes.”
Sarah shook her head a little, trembling, reminding herself that she was a doctor, digging through a festering wound. “You don’t think there should be feelings when you make love?”
“Yes, I do. But you said fuck, not make love. I fucked Lisa, I didn’t make love to her.”
“Why would you do that? Allow her to use you?”
He smiled a little. “How do you know I didn’t use her?”
“Because…”
“Because you know she’s a slut.”
“Yes.”
“And you thought…I wasn’t?”
Sarah cleared her throat and retraced the doodle she’d begun at the top of her page. “Something like that.”
“Sorry to disappoint you sweet heart. I’m no virgin. And I’m no saint.”
“I’m not disappointed, Micah. You are who you are. That doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
“And how do you feel about me, doc?”
“I care for you. Want what’s best for you. Want to see you happy.”
“At what cost to you?”
“I am not in this equation. My feelings don’t
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