“Is there any chance it could be under a different name?”
“No, that’s my only name.”
“And it was for what time?”
“Umm, 5:30. I think I talked to you yesterday, actually. On the phone.”
The woman looked up at her for a moment. “Oh, right. Your voice does sound familiar, and I do remember entering your name. I can’t find your appointment, though. Please bear with me one second.”
The woman got up and went through a doorway off to the right. Megan looked around, glancing over brochures and reading the ads on the wall again and again while she waited. It was several minutes before the woman came back.
“I am so sorry, Megan. There seems to have been some sort of mix up. Your appointment was never entered into the system, so it didn’t get scheduled. I was checking just now to see if we could fit you in, but all of our consultants are already booked. We’ll have to schedule you a consultation for another time. I do apologize.”
“Oh, okay.” The disappointment dropped into her heart like lead. Well, that’s okay, she thought. This didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t all some huge sign from the heavens that I’m making a mistake. Right?
The woman looked at her computer screen, typing away. “I have some timeslots free early next week. Monday or Tuesday?”
“Sure. Monday is fine.”
“Okay, great. I definitely have you in there now for Megan Van Lieden for Monday at 5:30. Once again, I’m so sorry about the mix up.”
Megan walked outside in somewhat of a daze. She tried to let the disappointment go. This had only been a consultation, after all. Nothing major would have happened other than she’d ask some questions and get some information. And besides, it’d take a few months for her to save up for the procedure, so it wasn’t like this really held anything back. So, why did her stomach hurt?
She took out her phone to call Rachel back. “Me again.”
“Hey, that was quick.”
“I didn’t have the consultation. Something got messed up and they didn’t have me in the system.”
“Oh. So, did you reschedule?”
“I did. For Monday.” She let silence fall between them for a few seconds. “I think, though, that this bothers me. It feels like a sign.”
“Megan. This is not a sign. This is a mix up in scheduling.”
“I know, but it feels like a sign. I tried to reconcile with my parents, thinking mentioning a grandchild would work and it didn’t. Now I try to make an appointment to get information and that doesn’t work, either. Both of the steps I tried to take toward this have failed.”
“You know what I find interesting?”
“What?”
“It’s like you’re looking for an excuse not to go through with it. You’re seeing all these signs everywhere. Maybe that in itself means something. Maybe you’re secretly hoping someone will stop you. That someone will give you an out.”
“No, Rach’, I really want to do this.”
“Megan. Listen to yourself. An appointment got moved back a few days and you think it’s a grand sign that you shouldn’t be moving forward, or that something is trying to stop you. Did you really think your parents were going to come around after all these years of being so difficult? No, you knew that was never going to happen. But you’re letting these things bring you down. I just wonder if there isn’t a deeper reason.”
“But the consultation was going to help me think about it, remember? It’s about getting answers.”
“Okay, well get your answers and think about it for a while. Really think this through, despite whatever signs you might be seeing. There is no undoing this once you go there.”
“I know.”
“It’s not just your life that’s affected by this. There’s a child involved now. Well, there will be. You know what I mean.”
“I do.” Megan let out a sigh and opened the door to her building.
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