The Silent Sounds of Chaos by Kristina Circelli Page B

silently shouted, FINN WANNA PLAY DOLLS?
    The reply came quickly. You scared the shit out of me .
    Snow laughed both aloud and so he could hear. Over the past few years they’d gotten better at talking to one another at random times, often without having to even concentrate on sending their thoughts. It didn’t always work, but at least they didn’t need to be sad or scared to find each other anymore.
    Watch your language, young man.
    Yeah, yeah.
    Finn had gotten used to Snow lecturing him on his worsening mouth. She knew his language was a product of his environment and how he was raised. Not that she knew all the details, just that he lived in a bad area and his mom was a pretty terrible person. She knew he got in trouble a lot, and had been suspended from school last year for fighting. But despite all that, how she felt about him never changed. He was her best friend, even if no one knew about him.
    She’d never broken her promise to herself, and kept Finn a secret after Miss Jenn’s visit … and second and third and fourth visits after that. It made her parents happy that she no longer talked to Finn, and it made her happy to keep talking to him, so keeping her secret was the best choice for everyone.
    Why are you playing dolls anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be too old for that now?
    The question broke her out of her thoughts. You’re never too old to play with dolls.
    Pretty sure that’s not true.
    It is , she insisted playfully, then added with a grin, It’s totally finntertaining.
    Even in his head he groaned at the bad joke. Dork.
    You’re just jealous you can’t come up with anything for Snow.
    Yeah, yeah. So you’re not seriously playing with dolls are you? Like by yourself?
    Snow filled him in on her babysitting job, then moved on to updates about her life since it had been a couple weeks since they last talked. Funny school stories, nice things her parents did for her. She no longer feared they would stop loving her or want to give her back, but Snow still tried hard to be the best daughter possible.
    Babies are lame. I never want any.
    Snow huffed. Babies are fun. I want a bunch when I grow up and get married.
    ‘Cause you’re a girl, and girls are mushy.
    Yeah well, you’re a boy. And boys are so FINNicky . Snow giggled to herself and imagined him rolling his eyes. She’d learned the word last week and couldn’t wait to use it with him. Even better was getting to use a second pun so quickly in conversation.
    You really are such a nerd , Finn replied with a laugh, then fell silent.
    Having grown used to long lapses in conversation, Snow turned back to the little girl at her feet, acting out an entire wedding scene with her before Finn finally popped back into her thoughts like a flicker of light behind her eyes. When he did, his voice was hesitant, questioning.
    Snow, you think that sometimes it’s okay to do bad things? Like, maybe it’s not a bad thing if it’s for a good reason?
    The question worried her. Depends on what you’re doing, I guess. And why you’re doing it. Why? What are you doing?
     

     
    The sun had long since lowered by the time Finn finally reached his destination. Hands in his pockets to ward off the chill in the evening air, he stared from the corner at the nondescript building lit up by a single light in the parking lot and flashing neon bulbs coming from inside. He’d only seen the outside of the club during the day, never at night, never quite able to tell exactly what lay in wait for him inside.
    He’d snuck out of the house before dinner, hitching a ride until he could make the rest of his way across town on foot. Finn knew he would be in trouble later, but didn’t care. This was the moment he’d been planning for years, ever since he’d decided to grow up and get what he wanted out of life. The day he’d no longer be the boy hiding in the closet, but the bad-ass he was meant to be.
    The following years had been filled with preparation. He’d exercised,