down everything I say. If you don’t know to spell a word, do your best and I’ll know what you’re trying to make out.”
Before he had a chance to start, I had to ask – “Why am I writing by hand? People don’t really do this anymore, its actually been a long time for me…” He laughed and said “You’ll be fine… I just don’t want my notes to be accessed by anyone but us. People can be nosey and once it’s on a computer it’s no longer private… Now let’s begin.”
I sat there for hours writing pages of things I didn’t even remotely understand. The terminology alone made it as if I were writing down another language. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was one of the reasons he chose someone like me. My ignorance made me invaluable to him, not to mention no one would question a missing member of the militia division that was swept away by the head of the science team.
Everyone else had left quite some time ago and I was starting to feel exhausted. I had purposely turned my back away from the table so I wouldn’t have to look at the man lying there with blood dripping down the sides of his head. I was so upset I could barely concentrate on what he was saying. On several occasions I had to ask him to repeat things… Luckily he didn’t seem to mind or suspect anything from my behavior.
Eventually he stood up and said “Ok Atlas, that’s enough for tonight. You did a great job, it’s exactly what I need… Now go on and get some rest and I’ll see you first thing in the morning. I’ve still got some work to do.”
As I headed back to my room I began to feel sick. If my stomach wasn’t completely empty I would have definitely thrown up. I was hungry too, but there was no way I could eat. I was too depressed, heartbroken, and angry, all at the same time. Even though I was exhausted I didn’t know how I’d be able to sleep. Especially knowing Cyrus was still in his lab torturing that defenseless man while I stood by and did nothing.
That night I passed the hours trying to think of a way to help them. I thought that maybe I could get some others who felt the same way I did to fight back against what’s happening. But it was too risky; if I said something to the wrong person it was all over.
I couldn’t help but wonder what Sara was doing right now… how she was feeling, what she was thinking. Was she going through what I was?... Was she able to sleep or was she trying to think of a way to do something? I didn’t know her well, but from what I did know, I had a feeling she felt exactly the same way. I hadn’t seen or heard from Kayin since we arrived. He’s probably down on X-451 right now. I wonder what’s going on in his head, or if he even knows what’s happening yet?.. I truly wished I’d wake up in the stasis capsule, only to realize this was all just a dream…
For an entire year I stood by and witnessed countless atrocities. Since the beginning of the experiments I have personally counted exactly 107 deaths. With every new “subject” brought in, Cyrus was so sure he would finally make a breakthrough. He had even forced my participation to become more frequent and had me assisting in surgeries and autopsies. He had slowly succeeded in making me numb to it all.
I felt just as trapped as all the people on his tables. Now it was nothing for me to watch him cut open one of their chests and start removing organs. I’ve even assisted in removing 23 brains. It had been a long time since I felt sick to my stomach… I didn’t even look away anymore.
I’ve also come to the realization that Cyrus had most definitely picked someone like me because I could be easily disposed of once this was all over. I didn’t come from a wealthy, powerful family; I was just some guy from the militia division. There was no way he’d let me live after what I’d witnessed…The anger is still there but my will has been diminished and I’ve lost all hope. Sara still refuses to speak to
Before he had a chance to start, I had to ask – “Why am I writing by hand? People don’t really do this anymore, its actually been a long time for me…” He laughed and said “You’ll be fine… I just don’t want my notes to be accessed by anyone but us. People can be nosey and once it’s on a computer it’s no longer private… Now let’s begin.”
I sat there for hours writing pages of things I didn’t even remotely understand. The terminology alone made it as if I were writing down another language. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was one of the reasons he chose someone like me. My ignorance made me invaluable to him, not to mention no one would question a missing member of the militia division that was swept away by the head of the science team.
Everyone else had left quite some time ago and I was starting to feel exhausted. I had purposely turned my back away from the table so I wouldn’t have to look at the man lying there with blood dripping down the sides of his head. I was so upset I could barely concentrate on what he was saying. On several occasions I had to ask him to repeat things… Luckily he didn’t seem to mind or suspect anything from my behavior.
Eventually he stood up and said “Ok Atlas, that’s enough for tonight. You did a great job, it’s exactly what I need… Now go on and get some rest and I’ll see you first thing in the morning. I’ve still got some work to do.”
As I headed back to my room I began to feel sick. If my stomach wasn’t completely empty I would have definitely thrown up. I was hungry too, but there was no way I could eat. I was too depressed, heartbroken, and angry, all at the same time. Even though I was exhausted I didn’t know how I’d be able to sleep. Especially knowing Cyrus was still in his lab torturing that defenseless man while I stood by and did nothing.
That night I passed the hours trying to think of a way to help them. I thought that maybe I could get some others who felt the same way I did to fight back against what’s happening. But it was too risky; if I said something to the wrong person it was all over.
I couldn’t help but wonder what Sara was doing right now… how she was feeling, what she was thinking. Was she going through what I was?... Was she able to sleep or was she trying to think of a way to do something? I didn’t know her well, but from what I did know, I had a feeling she felt exactly the same way. I hadn’t seen or heard from Kayin since we arrived. He’s probably down on X-451 right now. I wonder what’s going on in his head, or if he even knows what’s happening yet?.. I truly wished I’d wake up in the stasis capsule, only to realize this was all just a dream…
For an entire year I stood by and witnessed countless atrocities. Since the beginning of the experiments I have personally counted exactly 107 deaths. With every new “subject” brought in, Cyrus was so sure he would finally make a breakthrough. He had even forced my participation to become more frequent and had me assisting in surgeries and autopsies. He had slowly succeeded in making me numb to it all.
I felt just as trapped as all the people on his tables. Now it was nothing for me to watch him cut open one of their chests and start removing organs. I’ve even assisted in removing 23 brains. It had been a long time since I felt sick to my stomach… I didn’t even look away anymore.
I’ve also come to the realization that Cyrus had most definitely picked someone like me because I could be easily disposed of once this was all over. I didn’t come from a wealthy, powerful family; I was just some guy from the militia division. There was no way he’d let me live after what I’d witnessed…The anger is still there but my will has been diminished and I’ve lost all hope. Sara still refuses to speak to
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