line through it, too,” Joey said.
I cackled some more, to cover up for feeling guilty about starting the whole Fondue Freak Show.
All of a sudden, we heard Wham! Wham! Wham! on the door. Definitely Alex. It was her “You better open the door” knock.
“Nobody’s home!” Joey called.
“Let me in!” yelled Alex.
“Not by the hair of our chinny-chin-chins!” I called. That got Joey giggling all over again.
Alex burst in. “You guys are so not funny!” Alex said. “I ask you to be nice and you go and ruin everything, you . . . you . . . purple-hued maltworms!”
“What did we do?” I asked innocently. Like I didn’t know.
“You two embarrassed me big-time in front of my friend. He looked like he wet his pants, ’cause you made him spill that water . . .”
“Scott Towel wet his pants!” Joey said. I bit my cheeks to keep from laughing.
“And now Dad’s taking him home, and we didn’t even get to practice the play or anything.”
“At least you didn’t have to practice kissing!” said Joey.
“I hate you!” said Alex. “I hate you both! I don’t care what anybody says about sisters. I’m never speaking to you again. Ever.”
I knew Alex was mad — but I didn’t know Volcano Alex was about to erupt. I mean, really explode.
“I quit!” Alex shouted at us. “Do you hear me? I quit the Sisters Club! Forever and ever!”
Since Alex wouldn’t talk to me, I thought I’d listen in on her talking to Sock Monkey. As in spy. I was lying on the floor (under the bed) where I could hear most of what she was saying through the old iron grate, where the heat comes through.
“Are you living under the bed now?” asked Joey.
“Shhh! Can’t you see I’m eavesdropping?”
“On who?”
“Alex and Sock Monkey!”
“What are they saying?”
“Mostly just Beauty and the Beast stuff. Stuff about us, too!”
“What stuff?”
“The usual. Evil wicked stepsister stuff.”
“She’s really mad this time, huh?” said Joey.
“Volcano mad!” I said. “But at least volcanoes only erupt every two thousand years.”
“What’s wrong with her, anyway? Why’s she acting funny like this?”
“Mom says maybe it’s hormones. Dad says it’s a midlife crisis, between being a kid and a teenager. Maybe it’s a mid- love crisis! I just heard her say she wanted Scott Towel to kiss her!”
“No way!”
“Way!”
“I wish she would talk to us,” Joey said. “Do stuff, like we used to.”
“Me too, Duck.”
“And stop thinking we’re purple mealworms.”
“Purple-hued maltworms?”
“Whatever.”
“Is she really quitting the Sisters Club, you think?”
“You can’t quit your sisters, Duck. Sisters are forever. Remember?”
“I miss Alex and the Sisters Club. I even miss her bossing us.”
I didn’t say anything. But the real truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth was that I missed my sister, too. She could have been talking to me, whis-pering secrets to me. Instead, she was spilling her guts to a stupid old pair of socks with eyes. Telling it she wanted to get kissed. By a B-O-Y! I just didn’t get it.
“Hello? Earth to Stevie.”
“I know, I know. You want to show me something.”
I slid out from under the bed. Joey cracked up. “You should see you. You have dust bunnies all over your hair!”
“And I found a LEGO fairy, two quarters, and the silver locket from your pioneer doll.”
“Hey! I’ve been looking everywhere for those! By the way, I lost two quarters.”
“Did not!”
“Did, too!”
I handed Joey the locket and the LEGO and put the quarters in my pocket.
“Are you coming or not?”
“Not.”
“C’mon, Stevie. Please? You have to.”
I followed Joey downstairs. One sister mad at me was enough.
Joey had been helping Dad paint the volcano. She took me by the hand and led me around to the back of the volcano. “Look! Look what I did! It’s so funny!”
I crouched down on my knees and saw where Joey had painted
I cackled some more, to cover up for feeling guilty about starting the whole Fondue Freak Show.
All of a sudden, we heard Wham! Wham! Wham! on the door. Definitely Alex. It was her “You better open the door” knock.
“Nobody’s home!” Joey called.
“Let me in!” yelled Alex.
“Not by the hair of our chinny-chin-chins!” I called. That got Joey giggling all over again.
Alex burst in. “You guys are so not funny!” Alex said. “I ask you to be nice and you go and ruin everything, you . . . you . . . purple-hued maltworms!”
“What did we do?” I asked innocently. Like I didn’t know.
“You two embarrassed me big-time in front of my friend. He looked like he wet his pants, ’cause you made him spill that water . . .”
“Scott Towel wet his pants!” Joey said. I bit my cheeks to keep from laughing.
“And now Dad’s taking him home, and we didn’t even get to practice the play or anything.”
“At least you didn’t have to practice kissing!” said Joey.
“I hate you!” said Alex. “I hate you both! I don’t care what anybody says about sisters. I’m never speaking to you again. Ever.”
I knew Alex was mad — but I didn’t know Volcano Alex was about to erupt. I mean, really explode.
“I quit!” Alex shouted at us. “Do you hear me? I quit the Sisters Club! Forever and ever!”
Since Alex wouldn’t talk to me, I thought I’d listen in on her talking to Sock Monkey. As in spy. I was lying on the floor (under the bed) where I could hear most of what she was saying through the old iron grate, where the heat comes through.
“Are you living under the bed now?” asked Joey.
“Shhh! Can’t you see I’m eavesdropping?”
“On who?”
“Alex and Sock Monkey!”
“What are they saying?”
“Mostly just Beauty and the Beast stuff. Stuff about us, too!”
“What stuff?”
“The usual. Evil wicked stepsister stuff.”
“She’s really mad this time, huh?” said Joey.
“Volcano mad!” I said. “But at least volcanoes only erupt every two thousand years.”
“What’s wrong with her, anyway? Why’s she acting funny like this?”
“Mom says maybe it’s hormones. Dad says it’s a midlife crisis, between being a kid and a teenager. Maybe it’s a mid- love crisis! I just heard her say she wanted Scott Towel to kiss her!”
“No way!”
“Way!”
“I wish she would talk to us,” Joey said. “Do stuff, like we used to.”
“Me too, Duck.”
“And stop thinking we’re purple mealworms.”
“Purple-hued maltworms?”
“Whatever.”
“Is she really quitting the Sisters Club, you think?”
“You can’t quit your sisters, Duck. Sisters are forever. Remember?”
“I miss Alex and the Sisters Club. I even miss her bossing us.”
I didn’t say anything. But the real truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth was that I missed my sister, too. She could have been talking to me, whis-pering secrets to me. Instead, she was spilling her guts to a stupid old pair of socks with eyes. Telling it she wanted to get kissed. By a B-O-Y! I just didn’t get it.
“Hello? Earth to Stevie.”
“I know, I know. You want to show me something.”
I slid out from under the bed. Joey cracked up. “You should see you. You have dust bunnies all over your hair!”
“And I found a LEGO fairy, two quarters, and the silver locket from your pioneer doll.”
“Hey! I’ve been looking everywhere for those! By the way, I lost two quarters.”
“Did not!”
“Did, too!”
I handed Joey the locket and the LEGO and put the quarters in my pocket.
“Are you coming or not?”
“Not.”
“C’mon, Stevie. Please? You have to.”
I followed Joey downstairs. One sister mad at me was enough.
Joey had been helping Dad paint the volcano. She took me by the hand and led me around to the back of the volcano. “Look! Look what I did! It’s so funny!”
I crouched down on my knees and saw where Joey had painted
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