moonlight.
“I like him,” she said.
“No, you don’t.”
“He’s nice.”
“No, he isn’t.” Alice took Laura by the shoulders and shook her. “He’s not nice,” she said. “And it’s the fact that you don’t see this that makes you so dangerous.”
“I’m sorry, Sister.”
She seemed so innocent, so completely bewildered by her crime that Alice couldn’t bear it. She let her go.
“Stop crying. Fix your hair.” She stroked Laura’s cheek, laying her fingers on the small birthmark on her neck.
Laura nuzzled her face against Alice’s hand. She sighed. “I feel sorry for him,” she said.
Alice took Laura’s hands and held them tightly. “Promise me you won’t see him again. Promise me you won’t be alone with him.”
“All right.”
“Promise.”
“I promise.”
Alice helped her fix her hair. She brushed the tears off Laura’s cheeks. “Don’t tell Mother.”
“I won’t,” Laura said. She took Alice’s hand in both her own. “You’re a good sister,” she said. “You look out for me.”
“I’ll always look out for you,” Alice said.
Stella wasn’t sure if she had offended Alice by asking too many questions at lunch. Or maybe it was her laughter when Alice mentioned that her sister had a “tender heart.” Adeline had the least tender heart of anyone Stella could imagine but sisters were often loyal to one another, and Alice might not take kindly to any criticism of Adeline, however slight.
Or maybe it was something else Stella had said or done that had caused Alice to sit quietly through the remainder of lunch, slowly eating her ice cream and staring at the wall. Alice seemed a very private person, the kind who set wide boundaries around herself, and Stella wondered now if she had trespassed those boundaries in some crucial, although unintentional, way.
Yet, whatever it was that had upset her during lunch seemed to pass. Alice seemed herself again as soon as they left the kitchen and walked down the wide hallway to the bedroom. As she lay down for her nap, she looked up at Stella with her cold pale eyes and said, “Night, night.”
Stella smiled. “Sweet dreams,” she said.
She went out into the sunroom to do her homework. Despite being behind in all of her classes, she couldn’t bring herself to open her backpack. Instead she sat staring drowsily out the long windows, wondering if she should just go ahead and chuck it all, drop out of school, quit fucking around and get a full-time job, something that would at least allow her to pay rent and maybe buy a good used car. She had lasted longer in school than anyone predicted; she had nothing to prove to anyone. Not even to herself.
She was so far behind now, she would probably never catch up and she was tired of the grind, the worry over money, the constant stress over trying to keep up. Last night Josh had come into the kitchen as she was packing her lunch for Alice’s and he had bitched her out about not contributing for groceries. Or anything else, for that matter. And really, she couldn’t blame him. She was nothing more than a kept woman, something she had always sworn she’d never be. She’d sworn she’d never become dependent on a man like her mother had been, and yet here she was, making the same mistakes Candy had made. How was that for family tradition?
No, it seemed dropping out was her only option. It was time to grow up, to step into the real world of forty-hour work weeks and groceries and bills stacked up on the kitchen table.
And yet
. She paused, considering.
To give up the dream now filled her with a sense of dejection. The truth of the matter was she could see herself counseling troubled girls. She could imagine herself making a difference in patients’ lives. Dr. Nightingale. It had a nice ring to it.
And besides, if she dropped out now, she would still have two years of school loans to pay off. A crushing, unforgivable debt and nothing to show for it.
She sighed and pulled her
“I like him,” she said.
“No, you don’t.”
“He’s nice.”
“No, he isn’t.” Alice took Laura by the shoulders and shook her. “He’s not nice,” she said. “And it’s the fact that you don’t see this that makes you so dangerous.”
“I’m sorry, Sister.”
She seemed so innocent, so completely bewildered by her crime that Alice couldn’t bear it. She let her go.
“Stop crying. Fix your hair.” She stroked Laura’s cheek, laying her fingers on the small birthmark on her neck.
Laura nuzzled her face against Alice’s hand. She sighed. “I feel sorry for him,” she said.
Alice took Laura’s hands and held them tightly. “Promise me you won’t see him again. Promise me you won’t be alone with him.”
“All right.”
“Promise.”
“I promise.”
Alice helped her fix her hair. She brushed the tears off Laura’s cheeks. “Don’t tell Mother.”
“I won’t,” Laura said. She took Alice’s hand in both her own. “You’re a good sister,” she said. “You look out for me.”
“I’ll always look out for you,” Alice said.
Stella wasn’t sure if she had offended Alice by asking too many questions at lunch. Or maybe it was her laughter when Alice mentioned that her sister had a “tender heart.” Adeline had the least tender heart of anyone Stella could imagine but sisters were often loyal to one another, and Alice might not take kindly to any criticism of Adeline, however slight.
Or maybe it was something else Stella had said or done that had caused Alice to sit quietly through the remainder of lunch, slowly eating her ice cream and staring at the wall. Alice seemed a very private person, the kind who set wide boundaries around herself, and Stella wondered now if she had trespassed those boundaries in some crucial, although unintentional, way.
Yet, whatever it was that had upset her during lunch seemed to pass. Alice seemed herself again as soon as they left the kitchen and walked down the wide hallway to the bedroom. As she lay down for her nap, she looked up at Stella with her cold pale eyes and said, “Night, night.”
Stella smiled. “Sweet dreams,” she said.
She went out into the sunroom to do her homework. Despite being behind in all of her classes, she couldn’t bring herself to open her backpack. Instead she sat staring drowsily out the long windows, wondering if she should just go ahead and chuck it all, drop out of school, quit fucking around and get a full-time job, something that would at least allow her to pay rent and maybe buy a good used car. She had lasted longer in school than anyone predicted; she had nothing to prove to anyone. Not even to herself.
She was so far behind now, she would probably never catch up and she was tired of the grind, the worry over money, the constant stress over trying to keep up. Last night Josh had come into the kitchen as she was packing her lunch for Alice’s and he had bitched her out about not contributing for groceries. Or anything else, for that matter. And really, she couldn’t blame him. She was nothing more than a kept woman, something she had always sworn she’d never be. She’d sworn she’d never become dependent on a man like her mother had been, and yet here she was, making the same mistakes Candy had made. How was that for family tradition?
No, it seemed dropping out was her only option. It was time to grow up, to step into the real world of forty-hour work weeks and groceries and bills stacked up on the kitchen table.
And yet
. She paused, considering.
To give up the dream now filled her with a sense of dejection. The truth of the matter was she could see herself counseling troubled girls. She could imagine herself making a difference in patients’ lives. Dr. Nightingale. It had a nice ring to it.
And besides, if she dropped out now, she would still have two years of school loans to pay off. A crushing, unforgivable debt and nothing to show for it.
She sighed and pulled her
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