lowered my gaze.
And stared at the wet, yellow fuzz in Brandon’s fist.
“You—you squeezed it—”
Slowly, Brandon uncurled his fingers. The chick’s lifeless head flopped over the side of his hand, like the limp finger of a glove. The chick’s little body was a pulpy, yellow mess.
“You squeezed too hard, Brandon.” My voice escaped in a choked whisper. “Didn’t you realize? You squeezed it too hard.”
His face remained blank. His intense eyes locked on mine. And then, slowly, very slowly, he lowered his gaze. And stared at the mangled chick.
Then he tilted his head back and started to laugh.
11
H
ow can I describe what it felt like to see Ellie after all this time?
How can I describe the shock? The disbelief that she could return to my life this way?
Of course, I had to hide my feelings. And I did a good job of it. I pulled down a mask and kept it in place.
But behind the mask, I was seething, churning.
How could this happen?
It’s as if my thoughts had come true.
I’ve been thinking about her a lot. Thinking about how much I hate her. Thinking about what she did to me.
No, I haven’t been able to lose the anger. I’ve carried it with me all these years. I’ve spent my life—my whole damn life—angry and unhappy, thanks to that bitch. That skinny, lying bitch.
She’s ruined so much of my life. Ruined so many nights. Ruined so many years.
And there she was, walking into the house.
Stepping right out of my nightmares and back into my life.
Sitting in my living room in that expensive suit, so prim and pretty, as if I don’t know what she’s really like.
There she was, sitting in my living room, talking to my kids. So eager. So fucking eager.
Looking right at me. Smiling at me.
Looking right into the face of the person who hates her the most in the world.
Doesn’t she even remember me?
That’s what pissed me off more than anything. That’s what made me want to strangle her in front of everyone.
Has she forgotten?
Has she?
Has she forgotten what she did to me? How she
killed
me?
Well, I haven’t forgotten.
I acted so calm, so polite, so friendly to her.
And, of course, I had to hire her.
Yes, I kept the mask in place. I kept myself hidden from view.
How could she not know me?
How could she not remember?
I was so nice. “Yes, Ellie, you have the job. Yes, Ellie, please start as soon as you can. Yes, Ellie. Yes.”
And all the time, questions kept going through my head.
Could I fuck her up really bad?
Could I kill her?
Could I?
I might be angry enough.
I just might.
Part Two
12
H ey, Teresa. I just finished unpacking. My room is small, but it’s really nice.”
“Which side of the house are you on? Can you see the ocean?”
“It is
so
not to be believed. I’m upstairs, right? I can see over the little guest house to the beach. It’s an incredible view. And it smells so good. I feel like I’m on a boat.”
“I’m so jealous. They had more cutbacks at the office. Do you believe it—now I’m reporting to two people. I’ve got like double the work. And no raise or anything.”
“You should quit and come out here and live on the beach, Teresa.”
“Oh, sure. And what about my career?”
“Hey, sorry. I was just joking.”
“Ha. So was I. My career is a joke. I’m going nowhere fast.”
“Hey, don’t sound so down. This is our party summer, remember? When are you coming out?”
“I’ll be out this weekend, Ellie. Maybe you can give me a tour of the fabulous beach house. What are you doing today?”
“First thing I’ve got to do is go shopping. I don’t have a thing. I don’t even own a bathing suit.”
“Where are you going to shop? Are they letting you drive their car?”
“They lent me my own—do you believe it? It’s a little white Taurus, very cute. It’s for me to use and to drive the kids around in.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot there were kids involved. How’s it going?”
“Well, you know. I just got here yesterday. The
And stared at the wet, yellow fuzz in Brandon’s fist.
“You—you squeezed it—”
Slowly, Brandon uncurled his fingers. The chick’s lifeless head flopped over the side of his hand, like the limp finger of a glove. The chick’s little body was a pulpy, yellow mess.
“You squeezed too hard, Brandon.” My voice escaped in a choked whisper. “Didn’t you realize? You squeezed it too hard.”
His face remained blank. His intense eyes locked on mine. And then, slowly, very slowly, he lowered his gaze. And stared at the mangled chick.
Then he tilted his head back and started to laugh.
11
H
ow can I describe what it felt like to see Ellie after all this time?
How can I describe the shock? The disbelief that she could return to my life this way?
Of course, I had to hide my feelings. And I did a good job of it. I pulled down a mask and kept it in place.
But behind the mask, I was seething, churning.
How could this happen?
It’s as if my thoughts had come true.
I’ve been thinking about her a lot. Thinking about how much I hate her. Thinking about what she did to me.
No, I haven’t been able to lose the anger. I’ve carried it with me all these years. I’ve spent my life—my whole damn life—angry and unhappy, thanks to that bitch. That skinny, lying bitch.
She’s ruined so much of my life. Ruined so many nights. Ruined so many years.
And there she was, walking into the house.
Stepping right out of my nightmares and back into my life.
Sitting in my living room in that expensive suit, so prim and pretty, as if I don’t know what she’s really like.
There she was, sitting in my living room, talking to my kids. So eager. So fucking eager.
Looking right at me. Smiling at me.
Looking right into the face of the person who hates her the most in the world.
Doesn’t she even remember me?
That’s what pissed me off more than anything. That’s what made me want to strangle her in front of everyone.
Has she forgotten?
Has she?
Has she forgotten what she did to me? How she
killed
me?
Well, I haven’t forgotten.
I acted so calm, so polite, so friendly to her.
And, of course, I had to hire her.
Yes, I kept the mask in place. I kept myself hidden from view.
How could she not know me?
How could she not remember?
I was so nice. “Yes, Ellie, you have the job. Yes, Ellie, please start as soon as you can. Yes, Ellie. Yes.”
And all the time, questions kept going through my head.
Could I fuck her up really bad?
Could I kill her?
Could I?
I might be angry enough.
I just might.
Part Two
12
H ey, Teresa. I just finished unpacking. My room is small, but it’s really nice.”
“Which side of the house are you on? Can you see the ocean?”
“It is
so
not to be believed. I’m upstairs, right? I can see over the little guest house to the beach. It’s an incredible view. And it smells so good. I feel like I’m on a boat.”
“I’m so jealous. They had more cutbacks at the office. Do you believe it—now I’m reporting to two people. I’ve got like double the work. And no raise or anything.”
“You should quit and come out here and live on the beach, Teresa.”
“Oh, sure. And what about my career?”
“Hey, sorry. I was just joking.”
“Ha. So was I. My career is a joke. I’m going nowhere fast.”
“Hey, don’t sound so down. This is our party summer, remember? When are you coming out?”
“I’ll be out this weekend, Ellie. Maybe you can give me a tour of the fabulous beach house. What are you doing today?”
“First thing I’ve got to do is go shopping. I don’t have a thing. I don’t even own a bathing suit.”
“Where are you going to shop? Are they letting you drive their car?”
“They lent me my own—do you believe it? It’s a little white Taurus, very cute. It’s for me to use and to drive the kids around in.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot there were kids involved. How’s it going?”
“Well, you know. I just got here yesterday. The
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