The Sleeping Salesman Enquiry

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with half-moon spectacles on the end of his nose. His sparse grey hair was carefully combed forward over the top of his head, and he greeted them with a chuckle and a sparkle in his blue eyes.
    “Good morning, Roy,” he said. “I got your message, and I must say I am extremely excited by your news. And this is—?”
    “Miss Ivy Beasley. My dear, this is Oliver Beconsfield. His family have been here since—when, Oliver?”
    “Seventeen ninety-eight. I hasten to add that I myself have not been here that long!”
    Ivy shook hands over the counter, and thought she had never seen anyone in her long life so like she imagined Charles Dickens’s Mister Cheeryble.
    Wedding rings of all sizes, shapes, and precious metals were brought out for Ivy to study. She spent a long time looking at them, shutting herself out of the conversation between Roy and Mr. Beconsfield. Finally, rejecting all but one, she turned to Roy.
    “This will do very nicely,” she said. She handed a plain gold band to Roy and he smiled. “I knew as much,” he said, taking her hand and kissing it. “A good plain ring in the best gold. My Ivy, Oliver, my old pal, is the most sensible, practical woman I ever met. Such a pity I didn’t find her sooner! She’d have made an excellent farmer’s wife.”
    “You were not short of candidates, if I remember correctly,” Oliver Beconsfield replied with a knowing smile. “Even came to me for an engagement ring, didn’t you? You must have escaped that one! But now this lovely lady has captured your heart.”
    Roy coloured and looked extremely uncomfortable. “Our memories play us tricks, don’t you find, Oliver?”
    “Well, mine don’t,” said Ivy, “and I seem to remember we plan to have a coffee in our usual café. Let’s be off, then, Roy,” she added, and took his arm.
    Then she turned back to address the jeweller. “I expect you say this rubbish to all the couples who come in for rings, don’t you? Well, it’s all very well, and much appreciated, but now I’ve chosen, not only a ring but a husband. So I’ll say good day to you, Mr. Beconsfield, and thank you for your help.”
    • • •
    GUS HAD ALSO ventured into town this morning, reluctantly, as it happened, since when he looked out of his window and saw the wintry landscape, he put on an extra jersey and piled up logs on his fire, planning a cosy day indoors with Whippy. But then he recollected his intention to research Roman Catholic marriage laws, and as his computer had crashed and the man who promised to fix it had not turned up, he decided to go into town and do some ferreting in the library. At least he would have something to report to Ivy and Roy at their next meeting.
    The library was warm, and the librarian friendly and attractive, and Gus sat down with the necessary books chosen for him. After more than an hour at the library computer and checking facts in hefty books, he sat back in his chair and thought.
    The relevant facts to emerge were, one, that the Catholic Church regards its marriages as made in the sight of God, never to be torn asunder. And two, that any attempt to divorce and remarry would be lengthy and difficult. “So if I was a Roman Catholic,” Gus said aloud, “my first marriage in church would be a union, never to be dissolved by anyone except God. And that’s what old Alf is saying to his wife, Susan.”
    “Excuse me,” said a familiar voice, “are you needing some help?”
    The attractive librarian leaned over Gus’s shoulder. “Have you found some useful information? I know it is a complicated subject. Are you researching for yourself?”
    “No, not for me. I’m not Catholic, and my first marriage has been irrevocably dissolved. No, this is all about a friend who needs the information. The trouble is, I may be wasting my time, as I am not even sure he is really a Roman Catholic! Still, Enquire Within has to enquire. The nature of the beast! Anyway, thanks for your help. Next time I come to the

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