him?”
The man smiled. “That’s right. I see you’re very clever, Mr. Hudson.”
“Thanks, buddy.” He thought about this some more. It was ironic, he felt, that just that morning he’d received a stuffed pony as a gift, and now he was meeting a stuffer. Then a thought occurred to him. “Say, you didn’t happen to stuff a pony recently, did you? A pony named Tony?”
“No, I didn’t,” said the man. “Like I said, I specialize in humans.”
“Oh.”
“Yes.” The man’s eyes glittered. “And my, oh my, Mr. Hudson, aren’t you a wonderful specimen.”
Only now did Reece notice that a full array of medical instruments was laid out on a tray. “Um, what am I doing here exactly?” he asked, craning his neck to take in the room. It looked like a medical facility, set up in some underground lair, judging from the concrete walls and lack of windows.
“Don’t worry about a thing, Mr. Hudson. The moment the procedure is over with, we’ll dress you up in your favorite outfit, and you’ll look superb.”
“Procedure? What procedure?”
The man clucked his tongue. “Come, come, Mr. Hudson. A smart man like you?”
He thought about this for a moment. “Okay,” he said. “So I’m strapped to a table, in some medical room, with a taxidermist specializing in stuffing humans hovering over me, a bunch of surgical instruments nearby…”
The man nodded patiently. “So…”
Suddenly he got it, and his eyes went wide. “You’re going to stuff me!”
The man clapped his hands slowly. “Excellent, Mr. Hudson! Ten points!”
“But—but—but why?!”
“Hasn’t my daughter gone into all of that?”
“Your daughter? You mean the hot blonde with the mental issues?”
The man’s face clouded. “There’s no need to become vulgar, Mr. Hudson.”
“She told me some cockamamie story about collecting professionals.”
“Exactly. That’s what we do around here. And you’ll be happy to know that you’ll be the star of the show, the pride of our collection. A genuine Hollywood movie star, no less.”
“You’re nuts!” cried Reece. “You’re all nuts!”
“Now, now, Mr. Hudson. Name-calling simply won’t do. Every genius ahead of the curve has been called a nutcase at some point. So I’ll just take it as a compliment.”
“I didn’t mean it as a compliment!”
“Nonetheless, I’ll accept it as such.” He waved a scalpel. “You see, other people collect stamps or butterflies or Star Wars figurines. My family collects human beings. And since it’s very hard to keep them while they’re alive—you have to feed them, clothe them, take care of their personal hygiene needs—it’s much, much easier to simply stuff them and put them on display. No fuss and no drama, you see?” He laughed. “Do you agree this is a brilliant setup?”
“I agree that you’re a complete fruitcake!” Reece cried.
The man wagged the scalpel in Reece’s face. “Name-calling again.”
“Just let me go, you nutbag!” Reece cried, tugging at the restraints. “I swear you’re going to regret this!”
“Not a chance,” said Dr. Cieslok. “Quite the contrary. I’m going to enjoy this immensely. Now if you’ll simply relax, this will be over with in no time.” He bent closer, studying Reece’s sculpted chest muscles. “Very nice. You’re a prize animal, Reece. The best specimen I’ve had the pleasure working on.”
“Get away from me, you freak!”
“I’m not going to lie to you. This might sting a little,” warned the doctor. “You see,” he added with a grin, “I like to stuff my subjects alive. That way I can preserve the natural expression of their eyes.”
“What the heck!” Reece yelled as he watched the doctor draw nearer.
“That’s it!” exclaimed Dr. Cieslok happily. “That’s the expression we need. Now could you do me one favor, and say ‘Hot potato’ into the camera?”
He pointed to a camera mounted on the operating light over Reece’s head. “That’s
The man smiled. “That’s right. I see you’re very clever, Mr. Hudson.”
“Thanks, buddy.” He thought about this some more. It was ironic, he felt, that just that morning he’d received a stuffed pony as a gift, and now he was meeting a stuffer. Then a thought occurred to him. “Say, you didn’t happen to stuff a pony recently, did you? A pony named Tony?”
“No, I didn’t,” said the man. “Like I said, I specialize in humans.”
“Oh.”
“Yes.” The man’s eyes glittered. “And my, oh my, Mr. Hudson, aren’t you a wonderful specimen.”
Only now did Reece notice that a full array of medical instruments was laid out on a tray. “Um, what am I doing here exactly?” he asked, craning his neck to take in the room. It looked like a medical facility, set up in some underground lair, judging from the concrete walls and lack of windows.
“Don’t worry about a thing, Mr. Hudson. The moment the procedure is over with, we’ll dress you up in your favorite outfit, and you’ll look superb.”
“Procedure? What procedure?”
The man clucked his tongue. “Come, come, Mr. Hudson. A smart man like you?”
He thought about this for a moment. “Okay,” he said. “So I’m strapped to a table, in some medical room, with a taxidermist specializing in stuffing humans hovering over me, a bunch of surgical instruments nearby…”
The man nodded patiently. “So…”
Suddenly he got it, and his eyes went wide. “You’re going to stuff me!”
The man clapped his hands slowly. “Excellent, Mr. Hudson! Ten points!”
“But—but—but why?!”
“Hasn’t my daughter gone into all of that?”
“Your daughter? You mean the hot blonde with the mental issues?”
The man’s face clouded. “There’s no need to become vulgar, Mr. Hudson.”
“She told me some cockamamie story about collecting professionals.”
“Exactly. That’s what we do around here. And you’ll be happy to know that you’ll be the star of the show, the pride of our collection. A genuine Hollywood movie star, no less.”
“You’re nuts!” cried Reece. “You’re all nuts!”
“Now, now, Mr. Hudson. Name-calling simply won’t do. Every genius ahead of the curve has been called a nutcase at some point. So I’ll just take it as a compliment.”
“I didn’t mean it as a compliment!”
“Nonetheless, I’ll accept it as such.” He waved a scalpel. “You see, other people collect stamps or butterflies or Star Wars figurines. My family collects human beings. And since it’s very hard to keep them while they’re alive—you have to feed them, clothe them, take care of their personal hygiene needs—it’s much, much easier to simply stuff them and put them on display. No fuss and no drama, you see?” He laughed. “Do you agree this is a brilliant setup?”
“I agree that you’re a complete fruitcake!” Reece cried.
The man wagged the scalpel in Reece’s face. “Name-calling again.”
“Just let me go, you nutbag!” Reece cried, tugging at the restraints. “I swear you’re going to regret this!”
“Not a chance,” said Dr. Cieslok. “Quite the contrary. I’m going to enjoy this immensely. Now if you’ll simply relax, this will be over with in no time.” He bent closer, studying Reece’s sculpted chest muscles. “Very nice. You’re a prize animal, Reece. The best specimen I’ve had the pleasure working on.”
“Get away from me, you freak!”
“I’m not going to lie to you. This might sting a little,” warned the doctor. “You see,” he added with a grin, “I like to stuff my subjects alive. That way I can preserve the natural expression of their eyes.”
“What the heck!” Reece yelled as he watched the doctor draw nearer.
“That’s it!” exclaimed Dr. Cieslok happily. “That’s the expression we need. Now could you do me one favor, and say ‘Hot potato’ into the camera?”
He pointed to a camera mounted on the operating light over Reece’s head. “That’s
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