apartment building. Of the melting snow dampening the hem of her jeans. She had hated winter in Boston, hated the snow and the cold. She’d walked into their tiny apartment to find coats on the sofa. Not just Rick’s coat, but another one…an unfamiliar one.
Her heart had stopped. She remembered that distinctly. The sensation of a steady beating in her chest, followed by nothing. Not even a flutter.
Knowing she shouldn’t, yet unable to stop herself, she’d entered the small bedroom. The room was so tiny that the bed took up most of the floor space. Their battered dresser was in the living room by the bookcase.
Mandy told herself to breathe slowly, that the past didn’t matter. But suddenly she was there again. Staring at Rick, a younger Rick, kissing another woman. Touching her. They were both still dressed, but with their lips locked and his hand on her breast, it was pretty clear where things were going.
“Mandy?”
She tried to shake off the memories. “It was a long time ago,” she said.
“Not long enough.” He stared at her face. “Does it still bother you?”
“Not in the way that you mean. I’m not hurt or anything.”
How could she explain there were lingering shards of her shattered life stabbing her soul? The ghosts weren’t as much about him or her but about what should have been and what was.
Suddenly she was very aware of being naked. She hated to get out from under the protection of the covers, but there didn’t seem to be any other way to reach her clothes. She sucked in a breath and stood, then circled around the bed, picking up panties and her bra as she went.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“It’s getting late.”
“I thought you didn’t have other plans for the day.”
“I don’t. It’s just…” She pulled her dress up over her hips. “I really need to get going.”
Rick watched her without speaking. His serious gaze spoke volumes for him, though. She zipped up her dress and searched for her shoes before remembering she’d left them downstairs. She faced him and crossed her arms over her chest.
“What?” she asked.
“Why does it have to end like this?”
“Like what?”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
But it did. She couldn’t explain her compulsion toleave. After all that had happened, she felt unsettled. Time and distance would ease that.
“You haven’t changed as much as I thought,” he said flatly, not bothering to get up and get dressed. “After all these years, you still run when things get tough.”
His words cut through her…probably because she didn’t have a good defense.
“You call this tough?” she asked, motioning to the bed. “In my mind, it was too easy. I don’t have a clue as to what happened today. One minute I was minding my own business, the next Jo suggested I contact you for lunch. Somehow we ended up in bed. Doesn’t any part of that strike you as strange?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Well, it does for me. We shouldn’t have done this. The sex…” What about the sex? It had been great, but what had she been thinking? Or not thinking? She and Rick were strangers.
“I have to go,” she repeated, and headed out the door.
As she ran down the steps she half expected him to come after her. He didn’t. Rick claimed she hadn’t changed as much as he had thought. She could say the same about him. She might be the one who was running, but he’d always found it far too convenient to let her go.
Chapter Five
M andy was still shaking when she arrived back at Cassie’s beach house. It had taken her five tries to get from Rick’s house to the highway; she’d been so upset, she’d turned north instead of south. What should have been about a thirty-minute trip had taken her nearly an hour.
But she was safe now, she told herself as she paced the length of the living room. Safe and everything would be fine. Eventually. She just had to figure out what had happened back there and how to put it in
Her heart had stopped. She remembered that distinctly. The sensation of a steady beating in her chest, followed by nothing. Not even a flutter.
Knowing she shouldn’t, yet unable to stop herself, she’d entered the small bedroom. The room was so tiny that the bed took up most of the floor space. Their battered dresser was in the living room by the bookcase.
Mandy told herself to breathe slowly, that the past didn’t matter. But suddenly she was there again. Staring at Rick, a younger Rick, kissing another woman. Touching her. They were both still dressed, but with their lips locked and his hand on her breast, it was pretty clear where things were going.
“Mandy?”
She tried to shake off the memories. “It was a long time ago,” she said.
“Not long enough.” He stared at her face. “Does it still bother you?”
“Not in the way that you mean. I’m not hurt or anything.”
How could she explain there were lingering shards of her shattered life stabbing her soul? The ghosts weren’t as much about him or her but about what should have been and what was.
Suddenly she was very aware of being naked. She hated to get out from under the protection of the covers, but there didn’t seem to be any other way to reach her clothes. She sucked in a breath and stood, then circled around the bed, picking up panties and her bra as she went.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“It’s getting late.”
“I thought you didn’t have other plans for the day.”
“I don’t. It’s just…” She pulled her dress up over her hips. “I really need to get going.”
Rick watched her without speaking. His serious gaze spoke volumes for him, though. She zipped up her dress and searched for her shoes before remembering she’d left them downstairs. She faced him and crossed her arms over her chest.
“What?” she asked.
“Why does it have to end like this?”
“Like what?”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
But it did. She couldn’t explain her compulsion toleave. After all that had happened, she felt unsettled. Time and distance would ease that.
“You haven’t changed as much as I thought,” he said flatly, not bothering to get up and get dressed. “After all these years, you still run when things get tough.”
His words cut through her…probably because she didn’t have a good defense.
“You call this tough?” she asked, motioning to the bed. “In my mind, it was too easy. I don’t have a clue as to what happened today. One minute I was minding my own business, the next Jo suggested I contact you for lunch. Somehow we ended up in bed. Doesn’t any part of that strike you as strange?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Well, it does for me. We shouldn’t have done this. The sex…” What about the sex? It had been great, but what had she been thinking? Or not thinking? She and Rick were strangers.
“I have to go,” she repeated, and headed out the door.
As she ran down the steps she half expected him to come after her. He didn’t. Rick claimed she hadn’t changed as much as he had thought. She could say the same about him. She might be the one who was running, but he’d always found it far too convenient to let her go.
Chapter Five
M andy was still shaking when she arrived back at Cassie’s beach house. It had taken her five tries to get from Rick’s house to the highway; she’d been so upset, she’d turned north instead of south. What should have been about a thirty-minute trip had taken her nearly an hour.
But she was safe now, she told herself as she paced the length of the living room. Safe and everything would be fine. Eventually. She just had to figure out what had happened back there and how to put it in
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