The Sunnyvale Girls by Fiona Palmer Page B

it. I had a good time and I’m sure he did too.’
    Flick groaned. ‘I don’t need any more details, thanks, Mum.’
    â€˜What? I was thirty-three and single.’
    Flick thought for a moment. ‘Did you plan on having me?’
    â€˜I’ve told you before, I don’t really know. I didn’t plan it, but I didn’t really worry about contraception either. I wasn’t upset when I found out I was pregnant; maybe I was hoping. But I was disappointed I wasn’t in a relationship. Getting married would have been ideal, having a husband to share life with.’
    â€˜Then why didn’t you try to find him again?’
    Fella barked at the sheep as they ran through the next gate, cutting off her last word.
    â€˜Because we didn’t know each other from a bar of soap. He was with the Co-operative Bulk Handling mob constructing the new bin. I only saw him in passing a few times at the shop and then at a big party we had. Before I had a chance to run into him again, they’d left.’
    â€˜You didn’t think it would be important for him to know he was going to be a dad?’
    â€˜He was long gone by the time I found out I was pregnant. It didn’t seem important to find him. I didn’t need him, just you.’ Toni sighed. ‘For all I know, he was already a dad. Maybe he had a girlfriend. It was better just being happy with what he’d given me.’ Toni played with Flick’s long plait. ‘You were a gift from a stranger.’
    â€˜Just like Nan? She thinks you’re a gift from Rocco,’ said Flick carefully.
    â€˜It’s different,’ Toni spat, her mood hardening again.
    â€˜How’s it different? You didn’t know Rocco was your dad, and I don’t even know who mine is. The only man I had was Grandad, and now I find out I don’t even really have him.’
    â€˜Oh, Felicity, you always had Grandad. You grew up with him, you were the apple of his eye.’
    â€˜But so did you, Mum. Just because Rocco is your real dad, didn’t mean you didn’t have one either. You didn’t miss out. I’m the one who never had a dad. I’m the one who should be angry. Unless you help me find Simon, I’ll never have one.’
    â€˜Finding him won’t make him an instant father.’
    Flick huffed. ‘Maybe not, but he might have a chance to learn. Maybe I have half brothers or sisters out there. How will I ever know? You think you have a right to be angry at Nan – well, I think I should be angry at you.’ But she put her own issues behind her, shelving them for another day. She’d had twenty years to come to terms with her fatherless life, whereas her mum had the lot on one day.
    Flick had tried to find Simon herself one time by calling people at Co-operative Bulk Handling, but no one had wanted to help her. Locating a passing worker from a hired crew all those years ago seemed impossible. Even so, Flick still dreamt of finding him. It had been hard growing up without a dad. Grandad Arthur and the odd workman were as close as she could get. It made her wish Jimmy had been on their farm since the day she was born. He would have made an awesome dad.
    â€˜Why didn’t you find someone to marry? I don’t really remember you ever having boyfriends, not anything long-term. At least Nan found you a dad,’ she said with difficulty.
    She felt her mum’s hand on her arm. ‘Oh, Flick, believe me, I would have if I could. It’s just so hard to find a good man out here, let alone one willing to take on a child.’
    â€˜What about Jimmy?’
    Toni stiffened. ‘Jimmy would have been twenty-four when I had you. Little more than a kid himself. And of course there’s the minor detail that we hadn’t even met him then.’ She sighed. ‘But I tried. I dated a shearer for a while but that was too hard with his job and me with the farm and you. I just