The Temple by Brian Smith Page B

is absolutely true? It would be
just one more religious tome collecting dust among the other
nonsensical books that people have written over the centuries. It
is so easy to write a book and make preposterous claims about it.
But here’s where The Holy Dryvel is different. We have it in black
and white from God Himself that these are His own words.” Jeremiah
paused for a moment and smiled at Sycko. “And what words they are,
my dear Sycko, every single word worth a million times its weight
in gold!”
    “Wow, that is a lot of gold,”
Sycko said. “But why does the book only cost…”
    “Now, now,” Jeremiah interrupted
him. “We mustn’t take these things too literally. The important
thing to remember is that every single word in The Holy Dryvel is
true and if we have any kind of question or problem then we need
not look any further than The Holy Dryvel. Now let’s take a look at
the second law, there are ten altogether, did I mention it? Well,
anyway, here it is:
     
    II. Obey the Lord as made
manifest through the Master of the Temple.
    This is a most useful law, I
must say, and it makes things so much simpler for all of us.”
    “I’m not sure I understand it,”
Sycko said.
    “It’s quite simple really.
There’s nothing to it. It means that when the Lord has a message
for you He will let you know through me.”
    “You mean God tells you and you
just pass it along to me?”
    “Quite right. Just you listen to
what I tell you and you’ll always do the right thing. Let’s see the
next law:
     
    III. Heed the Holy Dryvel
     
    That’s not difficult either.
Just do as The Holy Dryvel tells you to do.”
    “Because the answers to
everything are in it?”
    “That’s right, very good, very
good, you’re doing well. I told you it would be easy. The next law
is also easy and also very important:
     
    IV. Do not steal from
Dryvellers.
     
    This is a truly divine and
wonderful law. How could we humans live together if we were allowed
to steal from one another? Yet thanks to the Lord in His wisdom we
all live in peace together.”
    “But what about stealing from
people who aren’t Dryvellers? Here it says…”
    “But my dear fellow, that’s a
completely different matter. If you take something from someone who
is in denial of the truth of Dryvellism you aren’t stealing. You’re
merely returning the Lord’s property back to those who honour him.
And is there anything wrong with returning lost property, Sycko, is
there?”
    “Well, no, now you put it that
way. I’m beginning to understand.”
    “I’m glad to hear it, my dear
boy. I knew from the moment I saw you that there was a true
Dryveller in you. But look at the next law, it’s also most
important to ensure harmony and honesty:
     
    V. Do not lie to Dryvellers
unless you need to protect Dryvellism.
     
    Isn’t it a most excellent law,
my dear Sycko? Just imagine! How could we live together if we were
allowed to tell lies? But again the Lord in His wisdom has
provided.”
    “But I may lie if I’m protecting
Dryvellism? Wasn’t that a bit like the weeping Diana?”
    “I’m glad you mention it, Sycko.
Yes, the weeping Diana does come to mind. What could be more noble
than a pious fraud if it helps people to believe! But let’s not
dwell on the past, my dear lad. The next law is one of great
importance:
     
    VI. Honour the martyrs.
     
    And honour them we shall! It
shall not be said that we neglected to hold those in esteem who
gave their lives for Dryvellism.”
    Sycko looked a bit doubtful.
“I’m not sure about that ‘give their lives’ bit. You mean to say we
may get killed?”
    Jeremiah chuckled. “We must all
die one day, my dear fellow, it’s no secret. The difference between
ordinary Dryvellers and martyrs is that martyrs are awaited by the
most wonderful recompense. They ascend straight into superparadise
beside which the paradise that awaits other Dryvellers pales in
comparison. After all, who would want to book a one star hotel