other miracle had to be posthumous. Somebody healed of something dreadful by leaning over and touching the glass of the coffin or even simply praying to the pre-saint in question."
"Sounds like a racket."
"It was. But still taking all that into account, there are still more than a few actual examples around. St. Bernadette Soubirous in France is the most famous. She died in the 1870s. There are more." He shrugged.
"And these Incorruptibles are always Catholics?"
"Well, yes and no."
I waited for the explanation.
"The holy people that were already devout Catholics and were found incorrupt became canonized."
"Were there others?"
"Oh yes. The other people that were dug up for whatever reason and found to be incorrupt—the non-Catholics, the heretics, or even practicing Catholics that weren't up to snuff— were viewed quite differently."
"And they were…?"
"Witches mainly, demons…" Kent paused, thinking. "In Eastern Europe, they were vampires. Sometimes werewolves."
"They weren't, of course."
"No, no," Kent said. "Of course not. But you can see how such legends could easily get started. When anyone found an incorrupt body, the thing to do was to cut the head off, burn it, scatter the ashes, kill everyone the deceased knew and consider themselves lucky to be rid of the abomination. So although there were probably many more examples of this type of thing happening, there aren't any bodies left to study. And, of course, the church isn't about to let science take a swipe at the ones they have."
"What about in North America?"
"Totally different cultures. The natives of North and South America didn't bury their dead in stone mausoleums and crypts. And they certainly didn't bother to dig them up once they were buried. Even if a body is incorruptible, worms and insects still have their job to do.
"What about in the 20 th century then?" I asked. "Surely, there are some examples you guys can study."
"Not really. It's a very rare phenomenon anyway and once we started embalming…"
"What about that pope?" I asked as something jogged my memory.
"Pope John XXIII" said Kent sarcastically. "Not a good example. He died in '63. His body was moved in 2001 and was well preserved. The Vatican claimed a miracle and used it to validate Vatican II, but it's a dubious claim at best. First, the Vatican admits that the ex-Pope was sprayed heavily with anti-bacterial spray and sealed inside three airtight coffins. Hardly a case for incorruptibility. Not to mention that later there was quite a scandal concerning the pope's physician and a scientist in Rome who had perfected a formula for keeping cadavers incorrupt. A mixture of formaldehyde and methyl alcohol if I remember correctly. The scientist says the pope was pickled."
"So he isn't an Incorruptible?"
"The official Vatican position is that he is."
"But no tests have been done."
"No."
"So," I said. "Do you believe in all this stuff?"
"Yesterday I would have said no."
"Something change your mind?"
"He's lying on the table."
Chapter 6
"How ya doin', Alice?" I said, lighting a cigar. "Glad you could come up."
Alice Uberdeutchland entered the office pelvis first if that could have been anatomically possible which apparently, thanks to yoga, double jointed knees and Arian fortitude, it was. Her flaxen hair hung across one eye like a blonde pirate-patch and the scar that I'd given her during our last encounter was fading but still visible on her porcelainic cheek. Her cigarette holder jutted from between two lovely fingers like another long wooden finger painted black with a glowing cigarette stuck in the end and her red sequined dress hung on her like a Hollywood actor hangs onto his Valium prescription.
"Vat have you found out?" she demanded. "Vee need to know, schnell!"
"Schnell, eh?" I said, narrowing my eyes and giving her a half-smile like one of those cats who looks as though it knows something, but in reality is just a dumb animal with a brain the size of a large
"Sounds like a racket."
"It was. But still taking all that into account, there are still more than a few actual examples around. St. Bernadette Soubirous in France is the most famous. She died in the 1870s. There are more." He shrugged.
"And these Incorruptibles are always Catholics?"
"Well, yes and no."
I waited for the explanation.
"The holy people that were already devout Catholics and were found incorrupt became canonized."
"Were there others?"
"Oh yes. The other people that were dug up for whatever reason and found to be incorrupt—the non-Catholics, the heretics, or even practicing Catholics that weren't up to snuff— were viewed quite differently."
"And they were…?"
"Witches mainly, demons…" Kent paused, thinking. "In Eastern Europe, they were vampires. Sometimes werewolves."
"They weren't, of course."
"No, no," Kent said. "Of course not. But you can see how such legends could easily get started. When anyone found an incorrupt body, the thing to do was to cut the head off, burn it, scatter the ashes, kill everyone the deceased knew and consider themselves lucky to be rid of the abomination. So although there were probably many more examples of this type of thing happening, there aren't any bodies left to study. And, of course, the church isn't about to let science take a swipe at the ones they have."
"What about in North America?"
"Totally different cultures. The natives of North and South America didn't bury their dead in stone mausoleums and crypts. And they certainly didn't bother to dig them up once they were buried. Even if a body is incorruptible, worms and insects still have their job to do.
"What about in the 20 th century then?" I asked. "Surely, there are some examples you guys can study."
"Not really. It's a very rare phenomenon anyway and once we started embalming…"
"What about that pope?" I asked as something jogged my memory.
"Pope John XXIII" said Kent sarcastically. "Not a good example. He died in '63. His body was moved in 2001 and was well preserved. The Vatican claimed a miracle and used it to validate Vatican II, but it's a dubious claim at best. First, the Vatican admits that the ex-Pope was sprayed heavily with anti-bacterial spray and sealed inside three airtight coffins. Hardly a case for incorruptibility. Not to mention that later there was quite a scandal concerning the pope's physician and a scientist in Rome who had perfected a formula for keeping cadavers incorrupt. A mixture of formaldehyde and methyl alcohol if I remember correctly. The scientist says the pope was pickled."
"So he isn't an Incorruptible?"
"The official Vatican position is that he is."
"But no tests have been done."
"No."
"So," I said. "Do you believe in all this stuff?"
"Yesterday I would have said no."
"Something change your mind?"
"He's lying on the table."
Chapter 6
"How ya doin', Alice?" I said, lighting a cigar. "Glad you could come up."
Alice Uberdeutchland entered the office pelvis first if that could have been anatomically possible which apparently, thanks to yoga, double jointed knees and Arian fortitude, it was. Her flaxen hair hung across one eye like a blonde pirate-patch and the scar that I'd given her during our last encounter was fading but still visible on her porcelainic cheek. Her cigarette holder jutted from between two lovely fingers like another long wooden finger painted black with a glowing cigarette stuck in the end and her red sequined dress hung on her like a Hollywood actor hangs onto his Valium prescription.
"Vat have you found out?" she demanded. "Vee need to know, schnell!"
"Schnell, eh?" I said, narrowing my eyes and giving her a half-smile like one of those cats who looks as though it knows something, but in reality is just a dumb animal with a brain the size of a large
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