The Top Gear Story

The Top Gear Story by Martin Roach Page A

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Authors: Martin Roach
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in a Reasonably Priced Car’ became not just an entertaining TV slot, but a national sport.
    In the second series, however, ultra-tall supermodel Jodie Kidd astonished everyone by taking three-tenths off Jay Kay’s time, even though she could barely fit in the tiny Suzuki Liana. Perhaps viewers shouldn’t have been surprised as she was in fact a veteran of the ultra-fast American Gumball Rally and even drove a Maserati Spyder at home. She compared driving fast on the lap to being on a horse, in that it gave her the same adrenaline rush. Later, The Stig revealed that in between corners, Kidd could be heard making ‘Giddy up!’ sounds.
    The Stig told Clarkson with few notable exceptions, pretty much all the celebs he was coaching were highly competitive and keen to win (he also later revealed that in his opinion the most difficult celebrity was Tara Parker-Tomkinson as he felt she wasn’t a very good listener). However, not all celebrities are so accomplished and much of the fun of this segment is when the celeb driver is utterly useless. The late great Richard Whiteley ambled in at a woefully slow 2.06 – in fact, both he and Terry Wogan were beaten by blind Bosnia war veteran Billy Baxter, accompanied by Clarkson directing him from the passenger seat.
    But perhaps the most infamous early lap was by seasoned actor Michael Gambon towards the end of Series 1. A fan of theshow from years back, despite his Shakespearian pedigree and English gentleman appearance he actually owns a Ferrari 348 (a famously difficult prancing horse to drive). He is a considered petrol-head, even taking his skills as far as flying planes and having an engineering workshop at home. Gambon said that he thoroughly enjoyed being trained by The Stig and revealed that the mystery racing driver talked in a French accent. When Gambon did his lap, he said that he didn’t even know there was a camera in the car and the look on his face – like that of an angry taxi driver – suggested he wasn’t fibbing.
    He nearly came off the track several times but the most infamous moment came on the last turn before the finish line, when he lifted up onto two wheels, nearly rolling the car over altogether (Tom Cruise and Michael McIntyre would later do the same). Forever after, that part of the track has been named ‘Gambon Corner’ in his honour. His time of 1.55 was a wet lap, which left him rather lowly on the board. Interestingly, however, although his two-wheel antics on the corner became the stuff of Top Gear legend, The Stig later said Gambon had had the best appreciation of racing lines of anyone in the series thus far. However, Clarkson later referred to the part of the leaderboard with times of 1:51 or slower as the ‘Thespian Zone’, as there were so many classically trained actors posting such slow times down there.
    Over time, the ‘Star in a Reasonably Priced Car’ feature has become a longer interview with the celebrity in question. Occasionally, however, the presenters make a diversion inspired by their guest. One such silly aside came with the foul-mouthed, but ultra-passionate chef Gordon Ramsay in Series 1, Episode 9. In the studio, Clarkson and Ramsay bemoaned women drivers and vegetarians before Jeremy announced that they had thought of a cunning plan to avoid having to eat dire motorway servicestation food (a pet hate of his). He’d worked out that if you taped certain cuts of meat to the engine itself and left them under the bonnet on your journey, they would cook as you drove along, thus avoiding the need to pay for vile service station food. He suggested they could even instruct the public on cooking times – for example, a rack of lamb might take two hours at 3000rpm.
    You could see Ramsay’s face drop as he then realised Clarkson had not only cooked food under the bonnets of three cars on the Top Gear test track, but also clearly wanted him to taste it. To Ramsay’s credit, he tested the food with real enthusiasm and even

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