him,” she said. “But I do care about you. You get into trouble again and you’re going to jail forever. You know that.”
Junior smiled.
“Sissy,” he said to the bartender. “In another world, you and I are Romeo and Juliet.”
“But we live in this world, Junior.”
“Okay,” said Sissy. “This is what’s going to happen, Junior. You’re going to walk over behind the bar, get yourself another Diet Pepsi, and mellow out. And Mr. Tap Water here is going to walk out the front door and never return. How does that sound to the both of you?”
“Make it two Pepsis,” said Junior.
“Deal,” said Sissy. “How about you, Polo?”
“Fuck him,” I said.
Junior didn’t move anything except his mouth.
“Sissy,” he said. “How can you expect me to remain calm, how can you expect me to stay reasonable, when this guy so obviously wants to die?”
“I’ll fight you,” I said.
“What?” asked Sissy and Junior, both amazed.
“I’ll fight you,” I said again.
“All right, that’s what I want to hear,” said Junior. “Maybe you do have some balls. There’s an alley out back.”
“You don’t want to do this,” Sissy said to me.
“I’ll meet you out there, Junior,” I said.
Junior laughed and shook his head.
“Listen up, Tommy Hilfiger,” he said. “I’m not stupid. I go out the back door and you’re going to run out the front door. You don’t have to make things so complicated. You want to leave, I’ll let you leave. Just do it now, man.”
“He’s giving you a chance,” Sissy said to me. “You better take it.”
“No,” I said. “I want to fight. I’ll meet you out there. I promise.”
Junior studied my eyes.
“You don’t lie, do you?”
“I lie all the time,” I said. “Most of the time. But I’m not lying now. I want to fight.”
“All right, then, bring your best,” he said and walked out the back door.
“Are you out of your mind?” Sissy asked. “Have you ever been in a fight?”
“I boxed a little in college.”
“You boxed a little in college? You boxed a little in college? I can’t believe this. Do you have any idea who Junior is?”
“No, why should I?”
“He’s a pro.”
“What? You mean, like a professional boxer?”
“No, man. A professional street fighter. No judges, no ring, no rules. The loser is the guy who don’t get up.”
“Isn’t that illegal?”
“Illegal? Illegal? What, you think you’re a lawyer now?”
“Actually, I am a lawyer.”
Sissy laughed until tears ran down her face.
“Sweetheart,” she said after she’d finally calmed down. “You need to leave. Please. Junior’s got a wicked temper but he’ll calm down soon enough. Hell, you come in a week from now and he’ll probably buy you some water.”
“Really?”
“No, not at all. I’m lying. You come in a week from now and Junior will break your thumbs.”
She laughed again, laughed until she had to lean against the bar for support.
“Stop it,” I said.
She kept laughing.
“Stop it,” I shouted.
She kept laughing.
“Sweetheart,” she said, trying to catch her breath. “I could kick your ass.”
I shrugged off my denim jacket and marched for the back door. Sissy tried to stop me, but I pulled away from her and stepped into the alley.
Junior was surprised to see me. I felt a strange sense of pride. Without another word, I rushed at Junior, swinging at him with a wide right hook, with dreams of connecting with his jaw and knocking him out with one punch.
Deep in the heart of the heart of every Indian man’s heart, he believes he is Crazy Horse.
My half-closed right hand whizzed over Junior’s head as he expertly ducked under my wild punch and then rose, surely and accurately, with a left uppercut that carried with it the moon and half of every star in the universe.
I woke up with my head in Sissy’s lap. She was washing my face with a cold towel.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“In the storeroom,” she said.
“Where is
Junior smiled.
“Sissy,” he said to the bartender. “In another world, you and I are Romeo and Juliet.”
“But we live in this world, Junior.”
“Okay,” said Sissy. “This is what’s going to happen, Junior. You’re going to walk over behind the bar, get yourself another Diet Pepsi, and mellow out. And Mr. Tap Water here is going to walk out the front door and never return. How does that sound to the both of you?”
“Make it two Pepsis,” said Junior.
“Deal,” said Sissy. “How about you, Polo?”
“Fuck him,” I said.
Junior didn’t move anything except his mouth.
“Sissy,” he said. “How can you expect me to remain calm, how can you expect me to stay reasonable, when this guy so obviously wants to die?”
“I’ll fight you,” I said.
“What?” asked Sissy and Junior, both amazed.
“I’ll fight you,” I said again.
“All right, that’s what I want to hear,” said Junior. “Maybe you do have some balls. There’s an alley out back.”
“You don’t want to do this,” Sissy said to me.
“I’ll meet you out there, Junior,” I said.
Junior laughed and shook his head.
“Listen up, Tommy Hilfiger,” he said. “I’m not stupid. I go out the back door and you’re going to run out the front door. You don’t have to make things so complicated. You want to leave, I’ll let you leave. Just do it now, man.”
“He’s giving you a chance,” Sissy said to me. “You better take it.”
“No,” I said. “I want to fight. I’ll meet you out there. I promise.”
Junior studied my eyes.
“You don’t lie, do you?”
“I lie all the time,” I said. “Most of the time. But I’m not lying now. I want to fight.”
“All right, then, bring your best,” he said and walked out the back door.
“Are you out of your mind?” Sissy asked. “Have you ever been in a fight?”
“I boxed a little in college.”
“You boxed a little in college? You boxed a little in college? I can’t believe this. Do you have any idea who Junior is?”
“No, why should I?”
“He’s a pro.”
“What? You mean, like a professional boxer?”
“No, man. A professional street fighter. No judges, no ring, no rules. The loser is the guy who don’t get up.”
“Isn’t that illegal?”
“Illegal? Illegal? What, you think you’re a lawyer now?”
“Actually, I am a lawyer.”
Sissy laughed until tears ran down her face.
“Sweetheart,” she said after she’d finally calmed down. “You need to leave. Please. Junior’s got a wicked temper but he’ll calm down soon enough. Hell, you come in a week from now and he’ll probably buy you some water.”
“Really?”
“No, not at all. I’m lying. You come in a week from now and Junior will break your thumbs.”
She laughed again, laughed until she had to lean against the bar for support.
“Stop it,” I said.
She kept laughing.
“Stop it,” I shouted.
She kept laughing.
“Sweetheart,” she said, trying to catch her breath. “I could kick your ass.”
I shrugged off my denim jacket and marched for the back door. Sissy tried to stop me, but I pulled away from her and stepped into the alley.
Junior was surprised to see me. I felt a strange sense of pride. Without another word, I rushed at Junior, swinging at him with a wide right hook, with dreams of connecting with his jaw and knocking him out with one punch.
Deep in the heart of the heart of every Indian man’s heart, he believes he is Crazy Horse.
My half-closed right hand whizzed over Junior’s head as he expertly ducked under my wild punch and then rose, surely and accurately, with a left uppercut that carried with it the moon and half of every star in the universe.
I woke up with my head in Sissy’s lap. She was washing my face with a cold towel.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“In the storeroom,” she said.
“Where is
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