I’ll always call you back.
I don’t leave a message. What am I supposed to say? My mom had a new all-villain baby to replace me. How was Vilmore? Right. Plus, it was bad enough Mom kicked me out—it’s not exactly like I want to broadcast my latest demotion to the rest of the world. Or, in this case, Gordon.
I sigh and sink down on the couch, staring at my phone. Willing it to ring. Maybe I should call Sarah. She’s probably still busy with Riley, though I’m sure she’d tell him to get lost once she knew I really needed her. As long as I exaggerated and made it sound like an emergency.
“Mom!” Alex shouts, rushing through the living room and looking for Helen.
“Settle down,” Gordon warns. “The doctor said to take it easy.”
The narrow, barely held-together attic stairs creak, and then Helen hurries down them like they’re not some deathtrap that almost killed her only son today. And to make matters worse, she’s holding Jessica, my three-year-old half sister, while she does it. Great. Why not endanger the lives of all my favorite siblings? Amelia tromps down after them. They’re all on the stairs at the same time . I feel dizzy just watching and have to look away.
Alex points to the cast on his right arm, practically jumping up and down with excitement. Obviously, he’s still too much in shock to realize how traumatized he should be. “Look, Mom! I got purple! It was the best one.”
“I can see that,” Helen says. She exchanges a slightly worried look with Gordon, then tilts her head toward me. Gordon quickly shakes his head.
As if I can’t tell they must be talking about me. Helen’s probably wondering if Gordon’s had a chance to have some sort of heart-to-heart with me about the dangers of sleeping with supervillains. You might think you want to sleep with her, son, but you’ll be sorry sixteen years from now when you have to tell your parents where your illegitimate villain kid came from.
Uh-huh.
“Damien’s going to draw a Velociraptor on it later,” Alex tells her. “But he can’t right now, because ...” He glances over his shoulder to make sure I’m not listening, and then finishes in a whisper. “ ...because he’s depressed.”
What? “I am not,” I mutter. Then I sigh and pull the hood of my sweatshirt over my face and sink deeper into the couch. But, you know, not in a depressed way.
Amelia moves to stand in front of me with her arms folded and this smug smile on her face. “Looks like someone didn’t have a very good first day.”
She looks like she’s going to sit next to me, but then thankfully Jess beats her to it, cozying up beside me and laying her head on my shoulder. “You know, Amelia, it’s too bad your power only works on things you’ve touched before. Otherwise, you could, you know, summon up boys.”
Her mouth goes sour, like she just ate something that tasted bad. Then she actually clucks her tongue at me. “I heard about what happened. Everyone’s talking about how you thought that bomb was real.”
“Oh, is everyone talking about it?” I’d like to see her last five minutes at Vilmore.
“They do that trick every year. I can’t believe you fell for it!”
How the hell was I supposed to know? “I didn’t hear you warning me about it.” If she even knew. She’s in the afternoon class, so she had plenty of time to find out during the day. Especially if everyone was talking about it.
Jess tugs my hood back so she can cup her hands to my ear. “Hi,” she whispers, then smiles real big at me.
Amelia’s nostrils flare. “Jess. No secrets.”
I cup my hands to Jess’s ear and ask her to go get me a pen. She scurries off to do my bidding.
Amelia scowls at me. “Just try not to become the laughingstock of the school, okay? It’s bad enough people already know we’re related.”
“Yes, it is.” We can agree on that, at least.
“But, since I’m feeling generous, I’d still be willing to help you with your poster.
I don’t leave a message. What am I supposed to say? My mom had a new all-villain baby to replace me. How was Vilmore? Right. Plus, it was bad enough Mom kicked me out—it’s not exactly like I want to broadcast my latest demotion to the rest of the world. Or, in this case, Gordon.
I sigh and sink down on the couch, staring at my phone. Willing it to ring. Maybe I should call Sarah. She’s probably still busy with Riley, though I’m sure she’d tell him to get lost once she knew I really needed her. As long as I exaggerated and made it sound like an emergency.
“Mom!” Alex shouts, rushing through the living room and looking for Helen.
“Settle down,” Gordon warns. “The doctor said to take it easy.”
The narrow, barely held-together attic stairs creak, and then Helen hurries down them like they’re not some deathtrap that almost killed her only son today. And to make matters worse, she’s holding Jessica, my three-year-old half sister, while she does it. Great. Why not endanger the lives of all my favorite siblings? Amelia tromps down after them. They’re all on the stairs at the same time . I feel dizzy just watching and have to look away.
Alex points to the cast on his right arm, practically jumping up and down with excitement. Obviously, he’s still too much in shock to realize how traumatized he should be. “Look, Mom! I got purple! It was the best one.”
“I can see that,” Helen says. She exchanges a slightly worried look with Gordon, then tilts her head toward me. Gordon quickly shakes his head.
As if I can’t tell they must be talking about me. Helen’s probably wondering if Gordon’s had a chance to have some sort of heart-to-heart with me about the dangers of sleeping with supervillains. You might think you want to sleep with her, son, but you’ll be sorry sixteen years from now when you have to tell your parents where your illegitimate villain kid came from.
Uh-huh.
“Damien’s going to draw a Velociraptor on it later,” Alex tells her. “But he can’t right now, because ...” He glances over his shoulder to make sure I’m not listening, and then finishes in a whisper. “ ...because he’s depressed.”
What? “I am not,” I mutter. Then I sigh and pull the hood of my sweatshirt over my face and sink deeper into the couch. But, you know, not in a depressed way.
Amelia moves to stand in front of me with her arms folded and this smug smile on her face. “Looks like someone didn’t have a very good first day.”
She looks like she’s going to sit next to me, but then thankfully Jess beats her to it, cozying up beside me and laying her head on my shoulder. “You know, Amelia, it’s too bad your power only works on things you’ve touched before. Otherwise, you could, you know, summon up boys.”
Her mouth goes sour, like she just ate something that tasted bad. Then she actually clucks her tongue at me. “I heard about what happened. Everyone’s talking about how you thought that bomb was real.”
“Oh, is everyone talking about it?” I’d like to see her last five minutes at Vilmore.
“They do that trick every year. I can’t believe you fell for it!”
How the hell was I supposed to know? “I didn’t hear you warning me about it.” If she even knew. She’s in the afternoon class, so she had plenty of time to find out during the day. Especially if everyone was talking about it.
Jess tugs my hood back so she can cup her hands to my ear. “Hi,” she whispers, then smiles real big at me.
Amelia’s nostrils flare. “Jess. No secrets.”
I cup my hands to Jess’s ear and ask her to go get me a pen. She scurries off to do my bidding.
Amelia scowls at me. “Just try not to become the laughingstock of the school, okay? It’s bad enough people already know we’re related.”
“Yes, it is.” We can agree on that, at least.
“But, since I’m feeling generous, I’d still be willing to help you with your poster.
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