course,” David said, delighted to have the decision taken out of his hands. Having Mr. Levitt make decisions for him was almost as good as having the church or God telling him what to do, though his moral compass, David had to admit, was likely a bit more uncertain in its orientation.
BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVES
FROM THE JOURNAL OF BONNIE GRAYDUCK
E dwin was in the office, talking to the orange-haired receptionist, when I got out of my meeting with the guidance counselor. He was leaning over the counter, speaking to her in a low voice, and I was suddenly viciously jealous of their proximity: why the hell did that old woman get to be this close to his perfect face? I overhead him say, “But you have to let me transfer, I’ll take any other biology class, any period, it’s very important—” Then his head snapped around, and he stared at me, nostrils flaring, eyes narrowed. It’s taken me a lot of practice, but I’m good at reading expressions, and his said: I’m angry, surprised, and also maybe a little afraid. An odd reaction, especially since he didn’t know me at all—and he’d have nothing to fear from me anyway. “Never mind,” he muttered, turning and not quite running from the office. One advantage of him running away from me: I enjoyed the opportunity to watch a certain portion of his anatomy on the way out.
I walked thoughtfully out to the parking lot. The logical conclusion was that he’d been trying to get out of our biology class so he wouldn’t have to sit next to me anymore. That sort of behavior might hurt a girl’s feelings, if she had any. I couldn’t figure out why he’d do that, though—we hadn’t interacted at all. I’d never had someone take such an immediate, instinctive dislike to me, and I must admit… I found it an intriguing challenge. Most people are as easily manipulated as a set of children’s building blocks, and I can put them together or pull them apart in whatever combinations amuse me. But Edwin was something I wanted , and he didn’t want me . Maybe this is what they mean by “playing hard to get”?
But I was being silly. Edwin was a teenage boy. He wouldn’t be hard to get—none of them are, at least, not once I managed to get them hard. Then I’d be the one playing come-here/go-away, playing with his mind—
My jaw started aching, and I realized I was grinding my teeth, an old habit from my childhood that I’d left behind, like playing with matches. I climbed into Marmon—the parking lot was nearly empty, so there was no danger of me smashing up the cars parked around me as I maneuvered the Great Wheeled Beast—and drove toward Harry’s house, planning my plans, and plotting my plots, and beginning to think I might have some fun in Lake Woebegotten after all. Getting someone to fall in love with me might be almost as much fun as destroying someone’s life.
And if love didn’t work out, I could always fall back on the destruction.
Harry brought home more burgers and fries from that diner, and I made a little face. “Eating like this once in a while is fine, Dad,” I said. “But I’d rather avoid the pimples, greasy skin, and thunder thighs, thanks. Don’t you ever cook at home?” Then again, home cooking in Lake Woebegotten probably meant casseroles where cream of mushroom soup and mayonnaise were the main ingredients, with a crust of crumbled corn chips on top.
He looked a little shamefaced. “Well, I’m pretty busy, so I do eat a lot of takeout, I guess that’s not so good for you. When you used to visit, you loved eating pizza and burgers every night of the week. I guess I didn’t think… I could go by the grocery store and pick up a few things.” He sounded doubtful.
I rolled my eyes. “Leave me some grocery money every week, I’ll do the shopping.” It was a role I’d taken on back in Santa Cruz, too, since left to her own devices my mom wouldn’t have anything in the fridge but a bottle of mustard and sour milk and some rotting
BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVES
FROM THE JOURNAL OF BONNIE GRAYDUCK
E dwin was in the office, talking to the orange-haired receptionist, when I got out of my meeting with the guidance counselor. He was leaning over the counter, speaking to her in a low voice, and I was suddenly viciously jealous of their proximity: why the hell did that old woman get to be this close to his perfect face? I overhead him say, “But you have to let me transfer, I’ll take any other biology class, any period, it’s very important—” Then his head snapped around, and he stared at me, nostrils flaring, eyes narrowed. It’s taken me a lot of practice, but I’m good at reading expressions, and his said: I’m angry, surprised, and also maybe a little afraid. An odd reaction, especially since he didn’t know me at all—and he’d have nothing to fear from me anyway. “Never mind,” he muttered, turning and not quite running from the office. One advantage of him running away from me: I enjoyed the opportunity to watch a certain portion of his anatomy on the way out.
I walked thoughtfully out to the parking lot. The logical conclusion was that he’d been trying to get out of our biology class so he wouldn’t have to sit next to me anymore. That sort of behavior might hurt a girl’s feelings, if she had any. I couldn’t figure out why he’d do that, though—we hadn’t interacted at all. I’d never had someone take such an immediate, instinctive dislike to me, and I must admit… I found it an intriguing challenge. Most people are as easily manipulated as a set of children’s building blocks, and I can put them together or pull them apart in whatever combinations amuse me. But Edwin was something I wanted , and he didn’t want me . Maybe this is what they mean by “playing hard to get”?
But I was being silly. Edwin was a teenage boy. He wouldn’t be hard to get—none of them are, at least, not once I managed to get them hard. Then I’d be the one playing come-here/go-away, playing with his mind—
My jaw started aching, and I realized I was grinding my teeth, an old habit from my childhood that I’d left behind, like playing with matches. I climbed into Marmon—the parking lot was nearly empty, so there was no danger of me smashing up the cars parked around me as I maneuvered the Great Wheeled Beast—and drove toward Harry’s house, planning my plans, and plotting my plots, and beginning to think I might have some fun in Lake Woebegotten after all. Getting someone to fall in love with me might be almost as much fun as destroying someone’s life.
And if love didn’t work out, I could always fall back on the destruction.
Harry brought home more burgers and fries from that diner, and I made a little face. “Eating like this once in a while is fine, Dad,” I said. “But I’d rather avoid the pimples, greasy skin, and thunder thighs, thanks. Don’t you ever cook at home?” Then again, home cooking in Lake Woebegotten probably meant casseroles where cream of mushroom soup and mayonnaise were the main ingredients, with a crust of crumbled corn chips on top.
He looked a little shamefaced. “Well, I’m pretty busy, so I do eat a lot of takeout, I guess that’s not so good for you. When you used to visit, you loved eating pizza and burgers every night of the week. I guess I didn’t think… I could go by the grocery store and pick up a few things.” He sounded doubtful.
I rolled my eyes. “Leave me some grocery money every week, I’ll do the shopping.” It was a role I’d taken on back in Santa Cruz, too, since left to her own devices my mom wouldn’t have anything in the fridge but a bottle of mustard and sour milk and some rotting
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