car, and when he saw them and reached for his registration, they thought he was going for a gun and they shot him. Eleven rounds. Didn’t even get suspended. They were back on duty the next day without so much as reprimand.”
I turn to look at him, but he’s staring out at the trees stonefaced. I put my hand on my heart and say, “That’s the worst thing I ever heard. I’m so sorry.”
“The ironic part is, the officers who shot him thought he was a criminal because he was a big black guy. In reality, Darius never touched a drug or a weapon in his life. He was an honor student and a gifted athlete who’d just gotten a scholarship to go to college. He wanted to be a lawyer, and he would have been a great one too. Man, could he talk. He was the kind of guy people just gravitated to, you know?”
I wait for him to continue, but he just stares into space, lost in thought.
I want to know more. How Rio ended up in the foster care system in the first place, and what he was so angry about. But after everything he just told me, I’m afraid to ask because I know the answer is going to be awful.
“Darius’ last name was Justice. Another irony considering the way he died. But that’s why I took it as my boxing handle, so he could live on in a way.” Rio opens his palms and stares down at his empty hands. “It’s not much, but it seemed like the one thing I could do for him. Well, that and teach kids the way taught me, kids like Simon who face more struggles than most.”
I reach out and put my hand in one of his. He catches me by surprise by taking it, then he looks up and meets my gaze.
“You know, I’m proud of you, December. Most people give up after a few sessions, so seeing how far you’ve come is really rewarding. Thanks for letting me be part of your journey.”
“You’re welcome,” I say, enjoying the feel of his big warm hand in mine. And at that moment, I realize I want so much more from Rio. I’m not even sure what, only that it’s enormous, all-encompassing and completely inescapable. “Rio, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“I understand that you don’t want to be anything more than workout partners—I get that. But I just want to know why. Is it because I’m still not thin enough, or is it my personality? I know I’m not a very sexy person. I’ve been trying to be seductive but obviously it’s not working. You’re a guy, what can I do to—”
“Shhh,” he says with a smile. “There’s nothing wrong with you, absolutely nothing. You’re a beautiful girl with a good heart.”
“Then why don’t you want me?”
“Because I don’t want to ruin you,” he says. “I’m not a good guy, Ember. Don’t waste your time on me. I’m bad news. I’ll only fuck up your life and leave you with a whole world of hurt.”
I tilt my head in confusion, but he gets up for real this time. “Thanks for the drink,” he says, taking a step backwards. “And I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” He snaps his fingers and points at me. “Don’t be late.”
Chapter 16
Breathless
“Just have a fling,” Drew says. We’re running through the park and we’ve just reached the final part of the trail that winds through scrub oak and blueberry bushes. “I mean, you’re twenty one, you’ve only been with one guy and it was a really long relationship. You don’t want to jump into something serious this fast do you?”
“I would be completely… satisfied with a fling…but I don’t think Rio wants one…I told you…he keeps shutting down…all my attempts at seduction.” Drew is a much better runner than me, and it’s all I can do to keep up with him, much less carry on a conversation and still breathe.
“That seems strange to me,” he says. “You must not be trying hard enough. The guy obviously likes women.”—I’d told Drew about all Rio’s fuck buddies—“What are you doing to
I turn to look at him, but he’s staring out at the trees stonefaced. I put my hand on my heart and say, “That’s the worst thing I ever heard. I’m so sorry.”
“The ironic part is, the officers who shot him thought he was a criminal because he was a big black guy. In reality, Darius never touched a drug or a weapon in his life. He was an honor student and a gifted athlete who’d just gotten a scholarship to go to college. He wanted to be a lawyer, and he would have been a great one too. Man, could he talk. He was the kind of guy people just gravitated to, you know?”
I wait for him to continue, but he just stares into space, lost in thought.
I want to know more. How Rio ended up in the foster care system in the first place, and what he was so angry about. But after everything he just told me, I’m afraid to ask because I know the answer is going to be awful.
“Darius’ last name was Justice. Another irony considering the way he died. But that’s why I took it as my boxing handle, so he could live on in a way.” Rio opens his palms and stares down at his empty hands. “It’s not much, but it seemed like the one thing I could do for him. Well, that and teach kids the way taught me, kids like Simon who face more struggles than most.”
I reach out and put my hand in one of his. He catches me by surprise by taking it, then he looks up and meets my gaze.
“You know, I’m proud of you, December. Most people give up after a few sessions, so seeing how far you’ve come is really rewarding. Thanks for letting me be part of your journey.”
“You’re welcome,” I say, enjoying the feel of his big warm hand in mine. And at that moment, I realize I want so much more from Rio. I’m not even sure what, only that it’s enormous, all-encompassing and completely inescapable. “Rio, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“I understand that you don’t want to be anything more than workout partners—I get that. But I just want to know why. Is it because I’m still not thin enough, or is it my personality? I know I’m not a very sexy person. I’ve been trying to be seductive but obviously it’s not working. You’re a guy, what can I do to—”
“Shhh,” he says with a smile. “There’s nothing wrong with you, absolutely nothing. You’re a beautiful girl with a good heart.”
“Then why don’t you want me?”
“Because I don’t want to ruin you,” he says. “I’m not a good guy, Ember. Don’t waste your time on me. I’m bad news. I’ll only fuck up your life and leave you with a whole world of hurt.”
I tilt my head in confusion, but he gets up for real this time. “Thanks for the drink,” he says, taking a step backwards. “And I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” He snaps his fingers and points at me. “Don’t be late.”
Chapter 16
Breathless
“Just have a fling,” Drew says. We’re running through the park and we’ve just reached the final part of the trail that winds through scrub oak and blueberry bushes. “I mean, you’re twenty one, you’ve only been with one guy and it was a really long relationship. You don’t want to jump into something serious this fast do you?”
“I would be completely… satisfied with a fling…but I don’t think Rio wants one…I told you…he keeps shutting down…all my attempts at seduction.” Drew is a much better runner than me, and it’s all I can do to keep up with him, much less carry on a conversation and still breathe.
“That seems strange to me,” he says. “You must not be trying hard enough. The guy obviously likes women.”—I’d told Drew about all Rio’s fuck buddies—“What are you doing to
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