The Ultimate Guide to Kink by Tristan Taormino Page A

of Flogging
    Janette Heartwood was one of the best flogger-making artisans in the country. She taught that a good flogging scene incorporated Accuracy, Intensity, and Connection.
    Accuracy
    Accuracy means that the flogger lands where you intend it to strike. Practice your swing without hitting your partner. Get a nice smooth consistent “throw.” Move an inch closer to your partner and keep throwing the flogger. Watch and estimate where it will land. Adjust your throw so that it will land in the right area. Continue to inch closer until the flogger strikes. At this point, you should be hitting with just the tips. As you move closer, you will connect with more of the “meat” of the tails.
    Accuracy is important, not just because you want to control where you hit, but also because it allows your partner to relax and trust you. In order to enjoy the sensation, your partner needs to be confident that you know what you are doing. However, nobody is perfect. You will miss your mark at times. It is important to acknowledge these times. I might say, “Oh, that was a little high. I’m sorry,” and caress the area before continuing. This is critical, because if the bottom thinks you did not realize you made a mistake, she’ll worry that you will err again. You don’t want her to worry about your technique; you want her to relax and enjoy.
    Even a very experienced player sometimes hits wrong. I used to really beat myself up about that. And then I played with a very experienced bottom who complimented me on my skill. I remarked that I had hit him high a couple of times. He told me that I had hit him hundreds of times and those two misses made me 99 percent accurate. I have since stopped criticizing myself for not being perfect.
    Intensity
    Strike gently at first using a short, soft flogger. You can gradually hit harder as you gain skill and confidence. Starting slow also gives the bottom a warm-up, a chance to acclimate to the blows. What feels painful in the beginning may be very pleasurable after the warm-up. Gradually ramp up using longer and either more thuddy or more stingy floggers. Ask your partner if he likes the sting or the thud. Experienced bottoms know what they like; novices will need to try different sensations to learn what they like. Vary your strikes: fast and slow, tips and meat of the tails. Experiment with different ways to throw the flogger. What feels good to you? And what feels good to your partner?
    Your partner should be giving you feedback, telling you what feels good and what does not. Remember that much of this feedback will be nonverbal, in the form of body language. Often you can read this body language, but sometimes your partner may move in a way that you can’t interpret. It is okay to ask! A movement one bottom makes to process a sensation that feels good, like stamping his feet, could be the reaction of another bottom when it does not feel good. Everybody reacts differently.
    Guy Baldwin speaks of a cycle that begins with the top striking. The bottom takes the strike and processes it. Then the bottom responds. Finally, the top reads the response and decides how and when to strike next. This cycle happens very quickly and those who may be watching are unable to see the communication that is occurring.
    Connection
    Flogging is like riding a bicycle. When you first get on a bike, you are worried about just staying upright. You are overwhelmed with steering, braking, and just getting it to go forward without crashing. After some practice, you begin to really ride—you hop on and stop thinking about how to maneuver the bike. You enjoy the wind in your hair and you’re able to take in the scenery. Likewise, once you get comfortable with the mechanics of flogging, you are free to enjoy a flogging scene in which the flogger is simply a tool that enables you and your partner to take an ecstatic ride together.
    A powerful flogging is a way to explore strength. It can build confidence and self-esteem