The Universe Twister by Keith Laumer, edited by Eric Flint Page A

skunk—"
    "Your Majesty, a moment!" Nicodaeus cried out. He threw a comradely arm about Lafayette's shoulders, led him closer to the throne. "It just came to me!" he announced. "This man is no criminal! We've been making a terrible mistake! How stupid of me not to have realized sooner."
    "What are you babbling about, Nicodaeus?" Goruble snapped. "One minute you're sewing up a watertight case, the next you're hugging the man like a long-lost brother!"
    "My mistake, my liege!" Nicodaeus said hastily. "This is a fine young man, an upstanding subject of your Majesty, a model youth."
    "What do you know about him?" Goruble's voice was sharp. "A moment since, you said you'd never seen him before!"
    "Yes, well, as to that—"
    There was a tinkle of bells, and a face like a gargoyle's appeared between the king's feet.
    "What's afoot?" a deep bass voice rumbled. "Your patterings disturb my slumbers!"
    "Be quiet, Yokabump!" King Goruble snapped. "We're conducting important business."
    The face came farther out, a small body behind it. The dwarf, rising to bandy legs, looked around, scratching his chest.
    "Solemn faces!" he bellowed. "Sour pusses! You're all a bunch of stick-in-the-muds!" He whipped out a harmonica, tapped it on his oversized palm and started a lively tune.
    "Sticks-in-the-mud, you mean," Goruble corrected. "Go away now, Yokabump! We told you we're busy!" He glared at Nicodaeus. "Well, we're waiting! What do you know of the fellow that should prevent his hanging by his thumbs!"
    Yokabump stopped playing.
    "You mean," he boomed, pointing at O'Leary, "you don't recognize this hero?"
    Goruble stared down at him. "Hero? Recognize? No, we don't."
    Yokabump bounded forward and struck a pose.
    "When the dragon came out of the west.
    The worst ran away with the best;
    But one man with an ax stopped the beast in his tracks
    And came home with the hide of the pest."
    King Goruble frowned darkly. "Nonsense!" he said flatly. He turned to the dwarf. "No interference from you, manikin; this is a matter of deepest import. Don't distract us with foolish stories."
    "But he is, in very truth, sire, the dragon slayer of the prophecy!"
    "Why, ah, as a matter of fact . . ." Nicodaeus patted O'Leary heartily on the shoulder. "I was just about to make the announcement."
    Yokabump waddled up to O'Leary, threw back his head and stared at him.
    "He doesn't look like a hero," he announced in his subcellar bass. "But a hero he is!" He turned his heavy head, winked grotesquely at the magician, faced O'Leary again. "Tell us, Sir Knight, how you'll face the foul monster, how you'll overcome those mighty jaws, those awful talons!"
    Goruble chewed at his lip, staring at O'Leary.
    "Jaws and talons, eh," Lafayette said, smiling condescendingly. "No wings? No fiery breath? No—"
    "Scales, yes—I think," Nicodaeus said. "I haven't seen him myself, of course, but the reports—"
    A slender fellow in a pale yellow suit with a starched ruff came forward, sniffing a snuff box. He closed it with a click, tucked it in a sleeve and eyed O'Leary curiously.
    "How say you, fellow? Wilt dispatch the great beast that guards the approaches to the stronghold of Lod?"
    There was a sudden silence. Goruble blinked at O'Leary, his lips thrust out.
    "Well?" he demanded.
    "Agree!" Nicodaeus muttered in O'Leary's ear.
    "Certainly!" Lafayette made an expansive gesture. "I'll be only too pleased to attend to this little matter. My favorite sport, actually. I often kill half a dozen dragons before breakfast. I'll promise to annihilate any number of mythical beasts, if that will make you happy."
    "Very well." Goruble looked grim. "A celebration is in order, we suppose," he said sardonically. "We hereby decree a fete for tonight in honor of our valiant new friend, O'Leary." He broke off and shot Lafayette a fierce look. "And you'd better deliver the goods, young fellow," he added in an undertone, "or we'll have the hide off you in strips!"

Chapter IV
    The room that O'Leary was