The Vampire Blog by Pete Johnson Page A

not far away either. I even called out once, ‘Hey, I can see you.’ I couldn’t, of course, but the feeling just wouldn’t go away. In the end I told myself I was being stupid and I had to concentrate on getting the vampire vibe. I imagined vampires baring their teeth; I heard their snarls ripping through the air … And then I let out a howl a budgie might make when it wants its water changing.
    Truly pathetic.
    And right after my effort came loud, mocking laughter.
    I whirled round and cried, ‘Who dares to laugh at me?’
    Out of the mist stepped Tallulah.
    â€˜How rude,’ I said. ‘Eavesdropping on a private howl – and then laughing.’
    â€˜That wasn’t just bad—’ she began.
    â€˜I did hear it too,’ I interrupted, ‘and will admit that wasn’t one of my finest efforts.’
    She edged closer to me. ‘Why are you out here making howling noises anyway?’
    I hesitated. How could I explain this? Finally I said very quickly, ‘Well, monsters are the big thing in our school now, thanks to you. And my best mate Joel’s joined the M.I.S. and I suppose I’d kind of like to join too.’ Yes, I was lying my head off, but I had to say something, didn’t I? And Tallulah was believing me – sort of.
    â€˜You?’ She laughed.
    â€˜Yes, me.’
    â€˜You want to join M.I.S.? But you’re a total idiot.’
    â€˜Ah, there’s another side to me entirely. And I thought if I could perform a really incredible vampire howl, you’d see me in a whole new light.’
    â€˜Highly unlikely … still, I’m glad you picked a vampire to try and impersonate as they’re the best monsters of all.’
    â€˜They’re certainly the meanest. Even when they’re being a bit suave and welcomingpeople to their castle they’re plotting to unleash major nastiness.’
    She smiled fondly. ‘I know they really shake things up. They’re total anarchists like me.’
    â€˜So what are you doing here?’ I asked.
    She looked surprised by my question. ‘I come here just about every night to think up new monster stories.’
    â€˜Every night?’ I echoed disbelievingly.
    â€˜Horror is what I do. It’s my life.’
    â€˜But isn’t it a bit … well, lonely?’
    â€˜You’re never alone if you’ve got horror in your blood.’
    â€˜And your parents don’t mind?’
    â€˜No, they’re really pleased to get rid of me, as I have nothing in common with them. Not one single thing. Well, you know where they all are tonight – watching my little sister at majorettes. She’s been training for weeks to prance about twirling batons – and they think I’m weird.’
    â€˜Have you just got one sister?’
    â€˜Yeah, but I’ve got an older brother as well – unfortunately. He’s perfect too, of course. In fact, my family’s a little pack of perfection, allliving on the Planet Bland. And there’s me … me the joke, the freak, me the … the …’ Suddenly she was so angry she could hardly talk. ‘But why are we wasting time talking about them?’ she asked sternly. ‘They’re nothing to me. Let’s hear you do a proper vampire howl now.’
    â€˜You’re going to stay and listen?’ I said.
    â€˜Of course,’ she snapped.
    I closed my eyes and muttered, ‘Here goes nothing,’ and tried again. ‘That was a bit better, wasn’t it?’ I said hopefully.
    â€˜Last time,’ said Tallulah, ‘your roar sounded like the noise a little worm might make.’
    â€˜And this time?’ I asked.
    â€˜This time you sounded like quite a big worm.’
    â€˜And what are my chances of going any higher up the evolutionary scale?’
    â€˜Very slight,’ she said.
    â€˜I love the way you spare my feelings.’
    She shook her head. ‘I