The Waterproof Bible by Andrew Kaufman Page A
Authors: Andrew Kaufman
Tags: General Fiction
Ads: Link
the wheel of the white Honda Civic, Aby’s keys were close to her, hanging from a string around her neck. As the car straddled Barrington Street, Aby touched her chest, feeling the shape of her keys through the fabric of her T-shirt. She felt comforted. Keeping the left pedal firmly depressed, Aby began searching through her only piece of luggage, a large sharkskin bag resting on the passenger seat.
She rummaged until she found her copy of the Aquatic Bible. Aby flipped through the pages until she found the piece of paper she’d carefully placed between the Book of Doubt and the Book of Endings. Unfolding this paper, Aby scanned it from top to bottom. She turned it over and did the same. Almost every space, front and back, was filled with handwriting. The letters were very small. The words were very close together. These were Aby’s directions. Numbering three hundred and thirteen, they charted a course from the Ultramart Parking Garage in Halifax, Nova Scotia, to the Prairie Embassy Hotel in Morris, Manitoba, a distance of 3,487 kilometres.
Aby pushed a large breath through her gills. She took her foot off the brake. She turned right onto Granville Street; three hundred and twelve directions remained.
The controls of the vehicle were simple, but Aby remained nervous about getting the pedals confused. She came to a complete stop at every corner, the cars behind her honking their displeasure. She had much difficulty matching the symbols on the paper to the symbols on the road signs. She found it impossible to judge the speed of oncoming traffic and whether she was getting too close to the car in front of her.
It took her two hours to find Highway 102, although things got easier once she did. Driving on the expressway was just like swimming with a school: Aberystwyth understood the need to maintain a consistent amount of space between her car and the other cars. After two hours of highway driving, her confidence increased. She leaned back in her seat. She drove with one hand. She was practically relaxed. Then the highway turned from four lanes to two, and suddenly a car began driving straight towards her.
The car did not slow down, nor did it veer from its path. Her first instinct was to make her car go up, but this was something it did not do. She did not go left or right since Pabbi had stressed the importance of keeping the car on her part of the pavement. Aby looked over her shoulder and saw that there were no cars behind her. Pausing briefly to make sure her foot was over the left pedal, she pushed it to the floor mat. Her shoulders hunched. Her legs felt weak. Her skin turned a dark forest green, and she gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands.
Closing her eyes, she waited. Several seconds passed, but no impact occurred. Surprised, she opened her eyes just in time to see the oncoming vehicle miss hers by inches. Aby breathed out. Her fingers loosened. She turned her head to see the other car receding into the distance. She did not want to continue, but she reminded herself of what was at stake, and then pushed down on the right pedal.
Aby drove without incident for nine minutes, until another car began driving straight towards her. Again, Aby applied pressure to the left pedal. Her shouldershunched. She covered her face with her hands and watched through webbed fingers as this car, too, missed hers by inches.
Once again, Aby was forced to find new courage. She continued driving. She drove all night. Her fear that every car travelling towards her in the oncoming lane was going to kill her diminished each time it happened. Nine hours later, just past Edmudston New Brunswick, she no longer had to brake when headlights approached. By the time she reached Rivière-du-Loup, Aberystwyth no longer had to stop at the top of hills to check that the road continued on the other side.
8
The unintended consequences of the bi-monthly
meeting of the Morris Town Council
Room C-27 lacked air conditioning. The men had
She rummaged until she found her copy of the Aquatic Bible. Aby flipped through the pages until she found the piece of paper she’d carefully placed between the Book of Doubt and the Book of Endings. Unfolding this paper, Aby scanned it from top to bottom. She turned it over and did the same. Almost every space, front and back, was filled with handwriting. The letters were very small. The words were very close together. These were Aby’s directions. Numbering three hundred and thirteen, they charted a course from the Ultramart Parking Garage in Halifax, Nova Scotia, to the Prairie Embassy Hotel in Morris, Manitoba, a distance of 3,487 kilometres.
Aby pushed a large breath through her gills. She took her foot off the brake. She turned right onto Granville Street; three hundred and twelve directions remained.
The controls of the vehicle were simple, but Aby remained nervous about getting the pedals confused. She came to a complete stop at every corner, the cars behind her honking their displeasure. She had much difficulty matching the symbols on the paper to the symbols on the road signs. She found it impossible to judge the speed of oncoming traffic and whether she was getting too close to the car in front of her.
It took her two hours to find Highway 102, although things got easier once she did. Driving on the expressway was just like swimming with a school: Aberystwyth understood the need to maintain a consistent amount of space between her car and the other cars. After two hours of highway driving, her confidence increased. She leaned back in her seat. She drove with one hand. She was practically relaxed. Then the highway turned from four lanes to two, and suddenly a car began driving straight towards her.
The car did not slow down, nor did it veer from its path. Her first instinct was to make her car go up, but this was something it did not do. She did not go left or right since Pabbi had stressed the importance of keeping the car on her part of the pavement. Aby looked over her shoulder and saw that there were no cars behind her. Pausing briefly to make sure her foot was over the left pedal, she pushed it to the floor mat. Her shoulders hunched. Her legs felt weak. Her skin turned a dark forest green, and she gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands.
Closing her eyes, she waited. Several seconds passed, but no impact occurred. Surprised, she opened her eyes just in time to see the oncoming vehicle miss hers by inches. Aby breathed out. Her fingers loosened. She turned her head to see the other car receding into the distance. She did not want to continue, but she reminded herself of what was at stake, and then pushed down on the right pedal.
Aby drove without incident for nine minutes, until another car began driving straight towards her. Again, Aby applied pressure to the left pedal. Her shouldershunched. She covered her face with her hands and watched through webbed fingers as this car, too, missed hers by inches.
Once again, Aby was forced to find new courage. She continued driving. She drove all night. Her fear that every car travelling towards her in the oncoming lane was going to kill her diminished each time it happened. Nine hours later, just past Edmudston New Brunswick, she no longer had to brake when headlights approached. By the time she reached Rivière-du-Loup, Aberystwyth no longer had to stop at the top of hills to check that the road continued on the other side.
8
The unintended consequences of the bi-monthly
meeting of the Morris Town Council
Room C-27 lacked air conditioning. The men had
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