bloody hands would let me into Nimue's confidence.
And it did, for she shook her head. "It's an old trick to frighten fools," she said dismissively. "Merlin taught it to me. You put jesses on the bat's feet, just like falcon jesses, then tie the jesses to your hair." She ran her hand through her black hair, then laughed. "And it frightened Tanaburs! Imagine that! And him a Druid!"
I was not amused. I wanted to believe in her magic, not have it explained as a trick played with hawk-leashes. "And the snakes?" I asked.
"He keeps them in a basket. I have to feed them." She shuddered, then she saw my disappointment. "What's wrong?"
"Is it all trickery?" I asked.
She frowned and was silent for a long time. I thought she was not going to answer at all, but finally she explained, and I knew, as I listened, that I was hearing the things that Merlin had taught her. Magic, she said, happened at the moments when the lives of the Gods and men touched, but such moments were not commanded by men. "I can't snap my fingers and fill the room with mist," she said, 'but I've seen it happen. I crn't raise the dead, though Merlin says he has seen it done. I can't order a lightning strike to kill Gundleus, though I wish I might, because only the Gods can do that. But there was a time, Derfel, when we could do those things, when we lived with the Gods and we pleased them and we were able to use their power to keep Britain as they wanted it kept. We did their bidding, you understand, but their bidding was our desire." She clasped her two hands to demonstrate the point, then flinched as the pressure hurt the cut on her left palm. "But then the Romans came," she said, 'and they broke the compact."
"But why?" I interrupted impatiently, for I had heard much of this already. Merlin was always telling us how Rome had shattered the bond between Britain and its Gods, but he had never explained why that could happen if the Gods had such power. "Why didn't we beat the Romans?" I asked Nimue.
"Because the Gods didn't want it. Some Gods are wicked, Derfel. And besides, they have no duty to us, only we to them. Maybe it amused them? Or maybe our ancestors broke the pact and the Gods punished them by sending the Romans. We don't know, but we do know that the Romans are gone and Merlin says we have a chance, just one chance, to restore Britain." She was talking in a low, intense voice. "We have to remake the old Britain, the real Britain, the land of Gods and men, and if we do it, Derfel, if we do it, then once again we will have the power of Gods."
I wanted to believe her. How I wanted to believe that our short, disease-ridden and death-stalked lives could be given new hope thanks to the goodwill of supernatural creatures of glorious power. "But you have to do it by trickery?" I asked, not hiding my disillusion.
"Oh, Derfel." Nimue's shoulders slumped. "Think about it. Not everyone can feel the presence of the Gods, so those who can have a special duty. If I show weakness, if I show a moment of disbelief, then what hope is there for the people who want to believe? They're not really tricks, they are..." She paused, seeking the right word. '.. . insignia. Just like Uther's crown and his torques and his banner and his stone at Caer Cadarn. Those things tell us that Uther is the High King and we treat him as such, and when Merlin walks among his people he has to wear his insignia too. It tells people that he touches the Gods and people fear him for that." She pointed at the door with its splintered spear-rent. "When I walked through that door, naked, with two snakes and a bat hidden under a dead man's skin, I was confronting a king, his Druid and his warriors. One girl, Derfel, against a king, a Druid and a royal guard. Who won?"
"You."
"So the trick worked, but it wasn't my power that made it work. It was the power of the Gods, but I had to believe in that power to make it work.
And it did, for she shook her head. "It's an old trick to frighten fools," she said dismissively. "Merlin taught it to me. You put jesses on the bat's feet, just like falcon jesses, then tie the jesses to your hair." She ran her hand through her black hair, then laughed. "And it frightened Tanaburs! Imagine that! And him a Druid!"
I was not amused. I wanted to believe in her magic, not have it explained as a trick played with hawk-leashes. "And the snakes?" I asked.
"He keeps them in a basket. I have to feed them." She shuddered, then she saw my disappointment. "What's wrong?"
"Is it all trickery?" I asked.
She frowned and was silent for a long time. I thought she was not going to answer at all, but finally she explained, and I knew, as I listened, that I was hearing the things that Merlin had taught her. Magic, she said, happened at the moments when the lives of the Gods and men touched, but such moments were not commanded by men. "I can't snap my fingers and fill the room with mist," she said, 'but I've seen it happen. I crn't raise the dead, though Merlin says he has seen it done. I can't order a lightning strike to kill Gundleus, though I wish I might, because only the Gods can do that. But there was a time, Derfel, when we could do those things, when we lived with the Gods and we pleased them and we were able to use their power to keep Britain as they wanted it kept. We did their bidding, you understand, but their bidding was our desire." She clasped her two hands to demonstrate the point, then flinched as the pressure hurt the cut on her left palm. "But then the Romans came," she said, 'and they broke the compact."
"But why?" I interrupted impatiently, for I had heard much of this already. Merlin was always telling us how Rome had shattered the bond between Britain and its Gods, but he had never explained why that could happen if the Gods had such power. "Why didn't we beat the Romans?" I asked Nimue.
"Because the Gods didn't want it. Some Gods are wicked, Derfel. And besides, they have no duty to us, only we to them. Maybe it amused them? Or maybe our ancestors broke the pact and the Gods punished them by sending the Romans. We don't know, but we do know that the Romans are gone and Merlin says we have a chance, just one chance, to restore Britain." She was talking in a low, intense voice. "We have to remake the old Britain, the real Britain, the land of Gods and men, and if we do it, Derfel, if we do it, then once again we will have the power of Gods."
I wanted to believe her. How I wanted to believe that our short, disease-ridden and death-stalked lives could be given new hope thanks to the goodwill of supernatural creatures of glorious power. "But you have to do it by trickery?" I asked, not hiding my disillusion.
"Oh, Derfel." Nimue's shoulders slumped. "Think about it. Not everyone can feel the presence of the Gods, so those who can have a special duty. If I show weakness, if I show a moment of disbelief, then what hope is there for the people who want to believe? They're not really tricks, they are..." She paused, seeking the right word. '.. . insignia. Just like Uther's crown and his torques and his banner and his stone at Caer Cadarn. Those things tell us that Uther is the High King and we treat him as such, and when Merlin walks among his people he has to wear his insignia too. It tells people that he touches the Gods and people fear him for that." She pointed at the door with its splintered spear-rent. "When I walked through that door, naked, with two snakes and a bat hidden under a dead man's skin, I was confronting a king, his Druid and his warriors. One girl, Derfel, against a king, a Druid and a royal guard. Who won?"
"You."
"So the trick worked, but it wasn't my power that made it work. It was the power of the Gods, but I had to believe in that power to make it work.
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