the door.
'I'm not finished,' yelled M Jackson McDonald.
Grogan turned and looked at him, hand on the door.
'I need a smoke,' he said, then he quickly opened the door and walked out.
M Jackson McDonald slammed his fist once more on the desk, looking angrily at the door, while actually being rather relieved that the unpleasant scene was now over. He turned to Eason at the sound of him pushing his chair back and getting to his feet.
'And I need a doughnut,' said Eason, then he too walked out the office, only with a little less drama.
M Jackson McDonald slumped down into the seat and looked at the small report which Grogan had compiled on the investigation so far.
'Aw, shite,' he muttered. 'I need a doughnut and a cigarette 'n' all.'
––––––––
1017hrs
B arney and his deaf-mute hunchbacked assistant Igor were sitting watching the PM on television, eating breakfast. Second breakfast which, properly handled, can be even better than first breakfast. There was a lot of bacon involved. The PM was giving some line about how people should vote for Labour if they valued their achievements, and both Barney and Igor snorted.
'That's just a bizarre thing for any serving government to say,' said Barney.
Igor nodded.
'Not like I care, because one's as bad as the other,' he began, and Igor glanced at Barney over his humph, 'but every single policy the government has is about privatisation and private finance initiatives and giving money to big business and consultants and damn to hell whether it's best for patients or rail passengers or whatever. But the real stuff that they do wrong, the real mismanagement and the real wastes of public money, the opposition can't complain about, as they started it, and they'd do exactly the same stuff if they got in. Load of pish, the whole thing. Complete load of pish.'
'Arf.'
'It'd make you want to go and live in France, if it wasn't for the fact that they're worse.'
'Arf.'
He took another bite of a bacon sandwich and watched another little guarded look in the PM's eyes, as the Chancellor said something else he disagreed with, while at the same time doing that thing with his bottom lip.
––––––––
1056hrs
G rogan and Eason were leaning on a railing above the Thames, staring down into the grey water. Grogan was smoking his seventeenth cigarette of the day, Eason was eating a cream cheese bagel with bacon, lettuce, honey, marmite, more cream cheese and more bacon. There was already a dollop of cheese on his tie, to add to the ketchup, and another smear on the tip of his nose. Grogan was letting the cheese on his nose go for the time being.
'So, we have a decision to make,' said Grogan.
Eason bit into the bagel, sending more cream cheese squishing out the middle, like cold white lava oozing from a volcanic bakery product.
'Where to go for third breakfast?' he said.
'No.'
'Lunch?'
Grogan blew smoke to the side, tossed the cigarette butt out towards the water, although a slight wind made sure that it never made it that far, and gave Eason the usual look.
'Tory HQ?' said Eason.
'Yes,' said Grogan. 'We need a plan.'
Eason chewed food and wiped his arm across his mouth.
'Why do I hate the sound of that?' he said.
'Because I'm going to sit in the office and do sod all while you have to go undercover and suck up to a bunch of Tory wankers.'
Eason took another huge bite of bagel, and then crammed the rest of it into his mouth, so that his cheeks bulged with food.
'Huck's sake,' he said.
––––––––
1657hrs
T he PM stormed into the office and slammed the door behind him. Williams, Thackeray, Barney and Igor were sitting around the room, having a discussion on Chelsea's impending Premiership triumph, and whether it could just as easily have been Hartlepool or Wigan or Rushden & Diamonds who were in that position if a Russian gazillionaire had pitched up to buy the club. Barney and Igor were being drawn into the PM's inner circle, which didn't
'I'm not finished,' yelled M Jackson McDonald.
Grogan turned and looked at him, hand on the door.
'I need a smoke,' he said, then he quickly opened the door and walked out.
M Jackson McDonald slammed his fist once more on the desk, looking angrily at the door, while actually being rather relieved that the unpleasant scene was now over. He turned to Eason at the sound of him pushing his chair back and getting to his feet.
'And I need a doughnut,' said Eason, then he too walked out the office, only with a little less drama.
M Jackson McDonald slumped down into the seat and looked at the small report which Grogan had compiled on the investigation so far.
'Aw, shite,' he muttered. 'I need a doughnut and a cigarette 'n' all.'
––––––––
1017hrs
B arney and his deaf-mute hunchbacked assistant Igor were sitting watching the PM on television, eating breakfast. Second breakfast which, properly handled, can be even better than first breakfast. There was a lot of bacon involved. The PM was giving some line about how people should vote for Labour if they valued their achievements, and both Barney and Igor snorted.
'That's just a bizarre thing for any serving government to say,' said Barney.
Igor nodded.
'Not like I care, because one's as bad as the other,' he began, and Igor glanced at Barney over his humph, 'but every single policy the government has is about privatisation and private finance initiatives and giving money to big business and consultants and damn to hell whether it's best for patients or rail passengers or whatever. But the real stuff that they do wrong, the real mismanagement and the real wastes of public money, the opposition can't complain about, as they started it, and they'd do exactly the same stuff if they got in. Load of pish, the whole thing. Complete load of pish.'
'Arf.'
'It'd make you want to go and live in France, if it wasn't for the fact that they're worse.'
'Arf.'
He took another bite of a bacon sandwich and watched another little guarded look in the PM's eyes, as the Chancellor said something else he disagreed with, while at the same time doing that thing with his bottom lip.
––––––––
1056hrs
G rogan and Eason were leaning on a railing above the Thames, staring down into the grey water. Grogan was smoking his seventeenth cigarette of the day, Eason was eating a cream cheese bagel with bacon, lettuce, honey, marmite, more cream cheese and more bacon. There was already a dollop of cheese on his tie, to add to the ketchup, and another smear on the tip of his nose. Grogan was letting the cheese on his nose go for the time being.
'So, we have a decision to make,' said Grogan.
Eason bit into the bagel, sending more cream cheese squishing out the middle, like cold white lava oozing from a volcanic bakery product.
'Where to go for third breakfast?' he said.
'No.'
'Lunch?'
Grogan blew smoke to the side, tossed the cigarette butt out towards the water, although a slight wind made sure that it never made it that far, and gave Eason the usual look.
'Tory HQ?' said Eason.
'Yes,' said Grogan. 'We need a plan.'
Eason chewed food and wiped his arm across his mouth.
'Why do I hate the sound of that?' he said.
'Because I'm going to sit in the office and do sod all while you have to go undercover and suck up to a bunch of Tory wankers.'
Eason took another huge bite of bagel, and then crammed the rest of it into his mouth, so that his cheeks bulged with food.
'Huck's sake,' he said.
––––––––
1657hrs
T he PM stormed into the office and slammed the door behind him. Williams, Thackeray, Barney and Igor were sitting around the room, having a discussion on Chelsea's impending Premiership triumph, and whether it could just as easily have been Hartlepool or Wigan or Rushden & Diamonds who were in that position if a Russian gazillionaire had pitched up to buy the club. Barney and Igor were being drawn into the PM's inner circle, which didn't
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