world who can actually describe her to me. I just wish I’d been braver and actually taken the chance to look at her before the funeral. One final moment might have changed everything.
“I meant what I said earlier,” he continues. “She was beautiful.”
“I know,” I say quietly, feeling as if a wall of tears has somehow been held back. I want to cry, but I can’t.
“I worked on your husband as well,” he adds. “If you want -”
“No,” I say quickly, “that’s fine. It’s just Hannah I was wondering about. She was my only child, you know?” I look over at him, and in the distance I can see the waiter heading our way with two plates. “I guess I just can’t get over the fact that I spent all those years raising her, loving her… and then in one brief moment, she was taken away from me. I just wish…”
“You wish what?” he asks.
“I wish I could see her again,” I tell him, as I feel something tightening in my chest, almost as if my heart is being twisted around. “I wish I could see her one final time and tell her how much I love her.”
***
Two hours later, with dinner having gone fairly well despite the intensity of the initial conversation, I slip my key into the front door. Glancing over my shoulder, I watch as Jason’s car reverses out of the driveway. He waves briefly before heading off into the night, leaving me standing alone by the door.
Next door, all the lights are off in John’s house. I guess he’s off at his cabin again, still trying to get through his two-year case of writer’s block.
Once I’m inside the house, I purposefully hold back from switching on the lights. It takes a moment for me to slip out of my coat and remove my shoes, but finally I head into the kitchen. The whole house feels so empty and barren, as if there’s no way there could be anyone else here, yet at the same time I have this deep sense of longing. After spending so long dreading the possibility of seeing ghosts, finally I want them here: I want to see David and, more than anything, I want to see Hannah.
I stand completely still in the dark kitchen, listening out for any hint that they might be here.
Silence.
Where are they?
I wait a little longer, convinced that they’re going to come back to me if I just give them time. It’s possible that they’re upset after the incident with the crucifix, and perhaps they worry that the psychic was here to drive them away. I’d understand why they got that impression, so I need to make sure they realize I want them here now.
“Hey,” I say finally, my voice sounding so small in the dark, empty house. “It’s okay. I want you here, I… I want to see you. No-one else has to know. I was wrong to tell anyone, I guess I was scared but -”
Suddenly I turn, convinced that they’ll be standing right behind me.
Nothing.
“Where are you?” I whisper, making my way through to the corridor and finally stopping by Hannah’s bedroom door. Looking into the room, I see that her undisturbed bed is just how I left it earlier.
I want her here.
Walking over to the bed, I look around at all Hannah’s things, which have been left exactly as they were on the morning when she died.
“Hannah?” I call out.
Silence.
“It’s Mummy,” I add, looking down at the bed, waiting for her to appear. “Mummy’s here. I can hold your hand if you like, just… Let me see you.”
All around me, the silence seems to be getting louder, like a kind of static emptiness in my ears.
“Hannah!” I call out, as if somehow she might simply be in another part of the house and failed to hear me before.
I wait.
Nothing.
Heading back out into the corridor, I look along at the master bedroom. Just as I’m about to turn and make my way to the kitchen, however, I spot something moving just beyond the door, as if a shadow shifted.
“David!” I call out, hurrying into the room and looking all around, convinced that he’ll be here.
There’s no-one.
“I saw
“I meant what I said earlier,” he continues. “She was beautiful.”
“I know,” I say quietly, feeling as if a wall of tears has somehow been held back. I want to cry, but I can’t.
“I worked on your husband as well,” he adds. “If you want -”
“No,” I say quickly, “that’s fine. It’s just Hannah I was wondering about. She was my only child, you know?” I look over at him, and in the distance I can see the waiter heading our way with two plates. “I guess I just can’t get over the fact that I spent all those years raising her, loving her… and then in one brief moment, she was taken away from me. I just wish…”
“You wish what?” he asks.
“I wish I could see her again,” I tell him, as I feel something tightening in my chest, almost as if my heart is being twisted around. “I wish I could see her one final time and tell her how much I love her.”
***
Two hours later, with dinner having gone fairly well despite the intensity of the initial conversation, I slip my key into the front door. Glancing over my shoulder, I watch as Jason’s car reverses out of the driveway. He waves briefly before heading off into the night, leaving me standing alone by the door.
Next door, all the lights are off in John’s house. I guess he’s off at his cabin again, still trying to get through his two-year case of writer’s block.
Once I’m inside the house, I purposefully hold back from switching on the lights. It takes a moment for me to slip out of my coat and remove my shoes, but finally I head into the kitchen. The whole house feels so empty and barren, as if there’s no way there could be anyone else here, yet at the same time I have this deep sense of longing. After spending so long dreading the possibility of seeing ghosts, finally I want them here: I want to see David and, more than anything, I want to see Hannah.
I stand completely still in the dark kitchen, listening out for any hint that they might be here.
Silence.
Where are they?
I wait a little longer, convinced that they’re going to come back to me if I just give them time. It’s possible that they’re upset after the incident with the crucifix, and perhaps they worry that the psychic was here to drive them away. I’d understand why they got that impression, so I need to make sure they realize I want them here now.
“Hey,” I say finally, my voice sounding so small in the dark, empty house. “It’s okay. I want you here, I… I want to see you. No-one else has to know. I was wrong to tell anyone, I guess I was scared but -”
Suddenly I turn, convinced that they’ll be standing right behind me.
Nothing.
“Where are you?” I whisper, making my way through to the corridor and finally stopping by Hannah’s bedroom door. Looking into the room, I see that her undisturbed bed is just how I left it earlier.
I want her here.
Walking over to the bed, I look around at all Hannah’s things, which have been left exactly as they were on the morning when she died.
“Hannah?” I call out.
Silence.
“It’s Mummy,” I add, looking down at the bed, waiting for her to appear. “Mummy’s here. I can hold your hand if you like, just… Let me see you.”
All around me, the silence seems to be getting louder, like a kind of static emptiness in my ears.
“Hannah!” I call out, as if somehow she might simply be in another part of the house and failed to hear me before.
I wait.
Nothing.
Heading back out into the corridor, I look along at the master bedroom. Just as I’m about to turn and make my way to the kitchen, however, I spot something moving just beyond the door, as if a shadow shifted.
“David!” I call out, hurrying into the room and looking all around, convinced that he’ll be here.
There’s no-one.
“I saw
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