There Once Lived a Girl Who Seduced Her Sister's Husband, and He Hanged Himself by Ludmilla Petrushevskaya Page A
Authors: Ludmilla Petrushevskaya
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married, the other was just fifteen, and she got pregnant by her brother-in-law, who hanged himself while she gave birth to a daughter she hated.
4.That daughter grew up, got married, and had a baby, a daughter.
5.That daughter was our little secretary/student, Alla. Our Alla began to go out with men as soon as she turned fifteen. Her mother cried and scolded her, but nothing helped, and the mother began to lose her mind. In addition to which she was diagnosed with an illness
6.that promised immobility. She and Alla got along horribly, because
7.Alla was raised by her grandmother (3), who hated her daughter, Alla’s mother, and who at thirty-five took her little granddaughter to live with her in a provincial town where she shared a house with her uncle, a much olderman.
8.Who knew what lay behind the cohabitation of a fifty-year-old uncle and his niece, who were the only ones left from a large family after all the wars, arrests, divorces, forced and unforced deaths?
9.Then they were joined by little Alla. The girl lived in fear that her mother, Elena, would eventually take her back, and once had a nightmare in which her mother was an evil witch.
10.But nothing could be done: her mother and father missed her, and soon after this nightmare the girl went back to Moscow, where she entered first grade. Poor Elena: the middle link in this chain, hated on both sides—by her child and by her mother.
11.Then Alla, unmarried, gave birth. Her mother, stooped over, shuffled around, washing diapers, cooking, cleaning. All this she did grudgingly, as there was no money in the house. Elena lived on her invalid’s pension; her husband had died, and Alla wasn’t working, having just given birth to a daughter, Nadya. Elena’s memory of her terrible past—of her illegitimate father’s death in the noose, of her quiet teenage mother—weighed Elena down, and she nagged and nagged poor Alla, who’d huddle by the baby’s crib and try not tocry.
12.Little Nadya had a father, but he lived with Alla only sporadically, considering her used-up material. He had made her pregnant twice, and when it happened the third time, Victor—who saw himself not as a future father but simply as a facilitator of another abortion—put Alla in a cab and directed the driver to the same hospital. He told the driver to wait, walked Alla to the ward, and pecked her on the cheek. This time, though, he left before she changed into the sterile hospital robe, so he didn’t take her street clothes fromher.
13.Alla spent the night in the ward, thinking—that she was twenty-five, that Victor had left her, that all her future held were random liaisons with married men. As morning approached, Alla hugged her belly and felt she had a family, that she was no longer alone.
14.She put on her street clothes and left the hospital.
15.Victor never called. Alla was taking her exams; she was a good worker, and her boss had agreed to promote her to engineer before she got her diploma. As for her belly, nobody noticed anything; her colleagues decided that skinny girl had finally blossomed. At the same time, an attractive intern started at the office and assumed Alla’s old secretarial position.
16.Alla did mention to her boss, at a good moment, that she and her mother were in bad shape; that they needed extra money for the mother’s medications.
17.But she never revealed her pregnancy, neither to him nor to Victor, whom she ran into during finals. The rogue took one look at Alla’s swollen breasts and invited her to his place after the exam.
18.Alla politely greeted Victor’s mother, Nina Petrovna, whom she’d always liked. (It’s not uncommon for estranged daughters to look for mother figures in older women.) Nina, too, was well disposed to Alla: she was the only girl Victor brought to the apartment openly.
19.In his tiny shoebox of a room, Victor entered Alla like she was his old home. Everything was familiar—the smell, the skin; only the body itself was
4.That daughter grew up, got married, and had a baby, a daughter.
5.That daughter was our little secretary/student, Alla. Our Alla began to go out with men as soon as she turned fifteen. Her mother cried and scolded her, but nothing helped, and the mother began to lose her mind. In addition to which she was diagnosed with an illness
6.that promised immobility. She and Alla got along horribly, because
7.Alla was raised by her grandmother (3), who hated her daughter, Alla’s mother, and who at thirty-five took her little granddaughter to live with her in a provincial town where she shared a house with her uncle, a much olderman.
8.Who knew what lay behind the cohabitation of a fifty-year-old uncle and his niece, who were the only ones left from a large family after all the wars, arrests, divorces, forced and unforced deaths?
9.Then they were joined by little Alla. The girl lived in fear that her mother, Elena, would eventually take her back, and once had a nightmare in which her mother was an evil witch.
10.But nothing could be done: her mother and father missed her, and soon after this nightmare the girl went back to Moscow, where she entered first grade. Poor Elena: the middle link in this chain, hated on both sides—by her child and by her mother.
11.Then Alla, unmarried, gave birth. Her mother, stooped over, shuffled around, washing diapers, cooking, cleaning. All this she did grudgingly, as there was no money in the house. Elena lived on her invalid’s pension; her husband had died, and Alla wasn’t working, having just given birth to a daughter, Nadya. Elena’s memory of her terrible past—of her illegitimate father’s death in the noose, of her quiet teenage mother—weighed Elena down, and she nagged and nagged poor Alla, who’d huddle by the baby’s crib and try not tocry.
12.Little Nadya had a father, but he lived with Alla only sporadically, considering her used-up material. He had made her pregnant twice, and when it happened the third time, Victor—who saw himself not as a future father but simply as a facilitator of another abortion—put Alla in a cab and directed the driver to the same hospital. He told the driver to wait, walked Alla to the ward, and pecked her on the cheek. This time, though, he left before she changed into the sterile hospital robe, so he didn’t take her street clothes fromher.
13.Alla spent the night in the ward, thinking—that she was twenty-five, that Victor had left her, that all her future held were random liaisons with married men. As morning approached, Alla hugged her belly and felt she had a family, that she was no longer alone.
14.She put on her street clothes and left the hospital.
15.Victor never called. Alla was taking her exams; she was a good worker, and her boss had agreed to promote her to engineer before she got her diploma. As for her belly, nobody noticed anything; her colleagues decided that skinny girl had finally blossomed. At the same time, an attractive intern started at the office and assumed Alla’s old secretarial position.
16.Alla did mention to her boss, at a good moment, that she and her mother were in bad shape; that they needed extra money for the mother’s medications.
17.But she never revealed her pregnancy, neither to him nor to Victor, whom she ran into during finals. The rogue took one look at Alla’s swollen breasts and invited her to his place after the exam.
18.Alla politely greeted Victor’s mother, Nina Petrovna, whom she’d always liked. (It’s not uncommon for estranged daughters to look for mother figures in older women.) Nina, too, was well disposed to Alla: she was the only girl Victor brought to the apartment openly.
19.In his tiny shoebox of a room, Victor entered Alla like she was his old home. Everything was familiar—the smell, the skin; only the body itself was
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